"Hollywood Dads" book

[Red]

Originally Posted by amber

I think part of Stevie's thing is that she quit drugs pretty late, almost in her 40's. Then she was on different drugs. lol. I dunno, I'm not saying they don't have regrets about it, but I'm not sure they are crushing, all consuming regrets. I'm mostly speaking for Stevie, I've never heard of Chris's opinion. Although, she was way less busy than Stevie, so if she wanted a child, I think she would have had one. Especially since she hates touring and stuff. I kinda think Chris would mostly do whatever she wanted.

You have a point there about Stevie - by the time she was done with Klonopin in the '90's I think she kind of looked around and wondered where the time went. I really do believe, based on all her interviews, that it was her hearts desire to have a mini-Stevie but time ran out before she knew it. I really do think that's a big regret of hers. God, can you imagine what a child of hers would look like? *sigh*

I can't really comment on Chris as I haven't read or heard anything from her in regards to whether she wanted to breed or not.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Somajoseph

I absolutely think everyone is entitled to their opinion, but I was in some sense expecting a more sympathetic viewpoint, especially from another woman.
I think it was far more complicated than any of us can imagine. Perhaps another factor wasnt the band, but Henley himself. Maybe Stevie didnt want to have a baby without the full support of the father to be. And in fast life they were living at the time, I am sure any regrets were way after the fact.

Oh, I didn't mean to be non sympathetic. I was kind of using your musings as a discussion point. And I agree that it probably was complicated. It sounds like it was. Especially in the Henley situation. And you are right, I don't think at the time Stevie would have wanted a child without the support of the father to be. Especially because of the way she idealized love. And yes, I agree that the fast life was a big factor, and there probably were more regrets later. Which I totally understand. I wouldn't give up what she was experiencing at the time for a child.
But as far as really thinking she has tons and tons of regrets...I'm not sure I do think that. I am, perhaps, the wrong woman to expect to attribute more to the loss of motherhood than others. And of course, I won't say something I don't really think. But I'm sure other, different women will agree more closely with your perception of the situation.

I wasn't purposely contradicting you, I just have another perspective on the joys and longings for motherhood v. the joys and longings of being a cool famous rock star who gets to sing every night for their job. You could be totally right. I just have a different interp. These are two of the most famous, rich, talented women in the world - I kind of assume they will mostly do what they want. And I think that if Stevie had wanted a kid that bad, she would have had one. So, I mostly think that she kind of wanted a kid sometimes. At certain points. But I don't believe it was ever a huge calling for her.

[Red]

Originally Posted by amber

And I think that if Stevie had wanted a kid that bad, she would have had one. So, I mostly think that she kind of wanted a kid sometimes. At certain points. But I don't believe it was ever a huge calling for her.

For reals? What about "Sarah?" And all those interviews about her regrets about not having a baybeh? I dunno, I think that's all genuine. I think that there are more than a few women out there who just feel like their time ran out and wish they could turn back the clock.

[Somajoseph]

Originally Posted by amber

Oh, I didn't mean to be non sympathetic. I was kind of using your musings as a discussion point. And I agree that it probably was complicated. It sounds like it was. Especially in the Henley situation. And you are right, I don't think at the time Stevie would have wanted a child without the support of the father to be. Especially because of the way she idealized love. And yes, I agree that the fast life was a big factor, and there probably were more regrets later. Which I totally understand. I wouldn't give up what she was experiencing at the time for a child.
But as far as really thinking she has tons and tons of regrets...I'm not sure I do think that. I am, perhaps, the wrong woman to expect to attribute more to the loss of motherhood than others. And of course, I won't say something I don't really think. But I'm sure other, different women will agree more closely with your perception of the situation.

I wasn't purposely contradicting you, I just have another perspective on the joys and longings for motherhood v. the joys and longings of being a cool famous rock star who gets to sing every night for their job. You could be totally right. I just have a different interp. These are two of the most famous, rich, talented women in the world - I kind of assume they will mostly do what they want. And I think that if Stevie had wanted a kid that bad, she would have had one. So, I mostly think that she kind of wanted a kid sometimes. At certain points. But I don't believe it was ever a huge calling for her.

No worries, I enjoyed reading your posts. There's alot of sides to it all, and all points of view could have a part in what actually played out.
Only they know for sure, right?

[amber]

Originally Posted by Red

For reals? What about "Sarah?" And all those interviews about her regrets about not having a baybeh? I dunno, I think that's all genuine. I think that there are more than a few women out there who just feel like their time ran out and wish they could turn back the clock.

I'm sure it was genuine at the time, but I'm not sure it was a huge, overriding passion like her career was. And I'm sure she does feel like her clock ran out. But I've read more than a few interviews where she's said that motherhood wasn't really her deal.
My take is, that she regrets it, but not enough to have changed what she actually did. Otherwise she would have changed what she did. Maybe she even regrets it quite a bit, but she made the choices she made, and I don't think she regrets what she actually accomplished. She's always said she wouldn't trade her life. I dunno, I think she regrets it, but what she actually did goes a long, long way to offset her sorrow about it. And I'm sure it stings more as she gets older, and all the boys are having kids. Like if she could have a kid now, she would. But I really don't think she would have traded her career at the time for a child. I mean, she didn't. And I think if she looks back, she probably thinks "well, hindsight is 20/20, but at the time I didn't think it was right, so it probably wasn't. Maybe I could have made different choices, but I was living my life, and those are the choices I made, and good things came from those choices, too".
hehehehe. Plus, everyone she knows has kids, so, she's like an aunt a million times. But she gets to give those kids back at the end of the day. Except Jess, she lived with Jess the whole time she was growing up, and Jess is a blood relation, so I'm sure that was pretty fulfilling for her.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Somajoseph

No worries, I enjoyed reading your posts. There's alot of sides to it all, and all points of view could have a part in what actually played out.
Only they know for sure, right?

True, that. We all just take the information we have about them and form opinions from our own perceptions. And I'm sure we actually have very little info compared to what is really in their minds.
I'm glad you posted what you did, your perspective caused me to think about what I thought about it. Your post was interesting, I'd never pictured Stevie very, very regretful about her lack of children. But perhaps she is. Actually, I kind of think she was pretty regretful when Linds started having all his lovely children. But I think in her spirit, motherhood was not the number 1 priority. You know how you see your friends kids, and sometimes you think that would be really cool, but then other times you don't even want children at all? Or maybe in the back of your mind you think you might like to have a child sometime, but in your action and your passions, and what you work for, children aren't really the priority?
Like you says, it's complicated.

[Red]

Originally Posted by amber

Like if she could have a kid now, she would.

Hmm, I don't know about that. Adopting and becoming a new mom at 60? Even with nannies I can't imagine she'd think it was a good idea.

No, I don't think she would have traded her life and career for a child but I'm certain she regrets not finding a way to make them both happen.

Ha, I'm sure everyone will be thrilled at the threadjack. Well, it's not like it's too off-topic.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Red

Hmm, I don't know about that. Adopting and becoming a new mom at 60? Even with nannies I can't imagine she'd think it was a good idea.

No, I don't think she would have traded her life and career for a child but I'm certain she regrets not finding a way to make them both happen.

Ha, I'm sure everyone will be thrilled at the threadjack. Well, it's not like it's too off-topic.

No, I think you are right, she wanted her own kid, before. Thus, Jess. And all the rest of what you said, I agree.
member all the interviews where she said "I couldn't have had a nanny raise my child, I would have wanted to be there all the time, and I couldn't be, so I didn't"
So, I guess like you say, she didn't think she could make both work. I'm not sure she is right, though. I think it could have worked okay. I mean, those damn cute dogs go everywhere she does, why not kids?
Oh, OT! I didn't think of that. This is supposed to be about Linds' kids. I was across the street from Barnes and Noble getting another book at the used book store. I totally wanted to see Linds's kids, and I asked the store if they had the book, but they didn't, then I wanted to leave and do something else, so I didn't go to BN, but I really, really, really want to see the pic of him with his kids.
So, scan away, anyone who has it. From the little I've seen so far, those are the cutest kids ever. Doesn't LeeLee have blond curls and big blue eyes? Gah, thank god something mellowed Lindsey out...hehehe.

[Red]

Yes, someone pleeeeeeze post the Lindsey Daddy pic. I want to see what the chitlins look like now.

And yeah, didn't Stevie say something along the lines of "when I see how Lindsey is with his kids, I just think, oh Stevie...you made a mistake'. Now that's some big time regret.

Seeing how having kids really mellowed out the Linds, I wonder if having kids would have made Stevie less self centered?

[amber]

Originally Posted by Red

Yes, someone pleeeeeeze post the Lindsey Daddy pic. I want to see what the chitlins look like now.

And yeah, didn't Stevie say something along the lines of "when I see how Lindsey is with his kids, I just think, oh Stevie...you made a mistake'. Now that's some big time regret.

Seeing how having kids really mellowed out the Linds, I wonder if having kids would have made Stevie less self centered?

Having kids makes everyone less self centered. Is that good? Usually. But in Stevie's case? We probably wouldn't have seen her for the past 20 years. Also, it is different when a man is "forced" to have kids - Lindsey has been still touring every since he had those kids. Cause his wife was taking care of them. But if Stevie had had some kids - tours stopped, career stopped. Kinda different. And when a guy becomes "less self centered" when he has kids, it's totally different than the all consuming "less self centered" that a girl has to be when she has them. Lindsey just has to talk about his kids fondly, and write songs about them, and see them between tours. Stevie would have had to stop her career for awhile, and be completely attentive to the kids at all other times, else she would have been a "self centered mom".

I don't want Stevie to not be self centered. If she wasn't "self centered" all this time, we wouldn't have anything. Unless there is some guy out there who will totally take care of her kids at every moment while she is touring. Like Lindsey's wife does.
If Stevie can find a "Lindsey's Wife" to be her husband, than that is cool. Until then, I want her to rock on with her childless, self centered self. And we all know she is very kind, and giving, so her self centeredness is not the totality of her essence.

[Red]

Originally Posted by amber

Having kids makes everyone less self centered. Is that good?

Um, don't you remember the stories about my mother??

No, I agree, Stevie's self centered-ness is an awesome part of her personality...although its certainly not all that she is. But she does make everything about her so I wonder how well that would translate to her having a baybeh. Pretty hilarious, I'm sure. Well, she at least dodged that tell-all book.

[Johnny Stew]

Originally Posted by Red

I can't really comment on Chris as I haven't read or heard anything from her in regards to whether she wanted to breed or not.

I remember reading once, years ago, that Christine celebrated her divorce from John, and her "newfound sexual freedom," by having her tubes tied.

I don't recall having ever read that anywhere else, so who knows if it's true. Definitely take it with a grain of salt.

[Red]

Originally Posted by Johnny Stew

I remember reading once, years ago, that Christine celebrated her divorce from John, and her "newfound sexual freedom," by having her tubes tied.

Hahaha - that's awesome. I may have to use that line some day.

[amber]

Originally Posted by Red

Um, don't you remember the stories about my mother??

No, I agree, Stevie's self centered-ness is an awesome part of her personality...although its certainly not all that she is. But she does make everything about her so I wonder how well that would translate to her having a baybeh. Pretty hilarious, I'm sure. Well, she at least dodged that tell-all book.

No, I didn't forget the stories. I was going to mention them, but...I dunno, I imagine Stevie's self centeredness would make her just about how our moms were.

Also, JStew, if Christine said that?! I.Love.her.
Gotta be honest, neither of the ladies ever struck me as being excessively maternal, in the classical sense, with actual children. Due to quotes like that one from Chris, and a few others from Stevie...

[Kelly]

I seriously doubt Lori had a kid out of some sort of an "arrangement". I mean Stevie is close to Jessie but she isn't that close. Ya know? I could see Stevie thinking it would fullfill something missing inside of her but realistically, I do not think it would. Just like Matthew wouldn't either. Anything is possible with these people though, so who really knows. As far as the whole kid thing goes, I think Stevie always wanted them. Her interviews over the years have always reflected that desire.