Good spirited humor from the Right!

Rob67 · #1 01-21-2004, 06:24 PM

For my political friends on the Ledge....

I expect a list from the Left...

Enjoy!!

You know you are a Liberal when (.....Drumroll, please!!.......):

You think displaying the American flag is jingoistic or Nationalistic.

You think Independence Day is an evil holiday and you won't celebrate it because of the reasons stated above.

You are constantly and forever whining, griping, and complaining about how you can't stand America, yet you are still a U.S. citizen who lives here, pays your taxes, and supports the economy.

You think we deserved the Sept. 11 attacks and secretly hope for the next attack.

You think it is terrible for someone to come into a public school classroom and talk about Christianity, but it is okay for someone to some in there to talk about Kaballah, Buddhism, or Allah, etc.

You think that divorce is always the right answer to any marriage problems.

You were very saddened to learn of the deaths of the Hussein brothers last summer and think that it was wrong.

You hope that Saddam Hussein is being well-taken care of in custody and that he gets a light, fair sentence.

You always decry the U.S. admin side of the war, but have never decried Hussein's treatment of his own people during his regime.

Your opinion of Hussein's regime is, "who are we to say how he should treat his people?"

You think that George Washington is nothing but a adulterer.

You think that Columbus is nothing but an Indian-killer.

You think that only those facts about the above two should be taught in public school history.

You support school classes being multi-lingual and don't think foreign children should have to take ESL classes.

You don't think that any foreigners should have to learn english and that we should all just cater to their language needs.

You deny all of the above statements in one sentence, then turn around and basically support the statements in the next sentence.

You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination

You think that women and men are basically alike and essentially interchangeable, that "gender" is a result of culturally imposed norms, not innate, natural dispositions

you think that people are born with sexual "orientation", but that sex (or gender) can be changed with a knife.

you think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.

You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.

You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.

You believe if Martin Sheen or Sean Penn said so, it has to be a universally known fact

You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism

You think every problem can be solved with bigger Government

You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit

You think Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden and Hitler were just "misunderstood"

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions

Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child

The government should provide cradle to grave entitlement programs for everyone.

No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead.

The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

You want to reward those who do not wish to work, and at the same time, punish those who do work

You think society "owes you a living"

You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military secrets to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.

You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of a fanatical hate-filled dictator.

You believe that 9/11 was an "Israeli conspiracy" and could never have been carried out by Bin Laden or his croonies

You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to appease and compromise with them.

You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas

You believe that morals and integrity should never get in the way of popular opinion

You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.

You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn

You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake

You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point

You think trial Lawyers suing big corporations with lawsuits that deny arguments of personal responsibility is a "good thing"

You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.

You think that "truth" is irrelevant.

You think Ah-Nold should not have been allowed to run for Gov, because he's "just a celebrity", but at the same time, you would have had no problem endorsing Babs, Tim Robbins, or Martin Sheen based on that very criteria.

You refuse to ever fly the American flag or any other show of patriotism because this country has so many things wrong with it.

You think that the Fourth of July is an evil holiday and refuse to celebrate it.

You have always been constantly complaining, whining, and saying how much you absolutely hate this country despite the fact that you have been living here all your life and pay taxes and support the economy.

You believe that the term 'illegal immigrant' is profane.

You are a college professor at a big university.

You believe that we deserved and asked for the Sept. 11 attacks.

You think of our servicemen/women as being brainwashed, manipulated zombies.

You think that we have no business saying how Iraq should be run and therefore Saddam should of stayed in power.

You think that any WMD's that will be found were planted there by the Bush admin.

You have ever made a donation to Greenpeace

If you protest Arnold's alleged "groping" of women while cheering when Bill Clinton admitted to sexual mis-conduct.

You believe that an accusation against a Conservative should not be concerned with whether or not that accusation is a lie or the truth but should be wholly concerned with the seriousness of the accusation.

If you decry every mention of Christian faith but demand a paid day off on Christmas

If you think Yassar Arrafat really cares about peace

If you think Jacque Chirac deserves a Nobel Prize

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand

You are against the war on terrorism, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars making movies about it

You preach about the evils of capitalism from the comfort of your $50,000,000 Beverly Hills mansion

You think that being able to play the President on a TV show automatically grants "political expertise" in real life.

You claim that there is too much violence in the movies....then you beat up anybody who disagrees with you

You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all"

You think Hollywood is some kind of "supreme god" who can do and say no wrong, and should be worshipped 24/7

You call lies "truth" and you call truth "propaganda"

You believed Al Gore when he said he "invented the Internet"

You believed Bill Clinton when he said he "felt your pain".

You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe

You think Freedom of Speech means freedom from responsibility for what you say

You believe that Freedom of Speech only applies to a certain percentage of America, but not everybody else.

You think if a crime is committed with a gun, the gun is responsible, and NOT the offender

You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns

You think that another person's rights are an infringement upon your own rights

You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble"

You think the UN is an efficient governmental body

You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.

You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler"

You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated"

You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority

You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders

You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush

You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do

You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads off with martial arts to win over the bad guys.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program and lowering moral.

You think the "all Men are created equal" comments in the Declaration Of Independance means that they are actually equal in ability (as opposed to being given equal opportunity) and no one should make a choice about them based on their actual abilities to perform.

You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.

You think demanding respect is more important than actually doing something to earn it

You think the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws and are what the founding fathers meant.

You think the meaning of the Constitution changes with your moods or to suit your own ideals and/or agendas.

You think freedom OF religion means annihilation of any reference religion.

You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians or other religious groups should be taken away

You think if anybody disagrees with you, they are challenging your rights to Free Speech

You think burning the American Flag is protected by Freedom of Speech, but those who disagree are not.

When you boycott a Conservative person and/or company you call it "Freedom of Choice"....but when Conservatives boycott, you call it "McCarthyism".

You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.

You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot.

You throw down the "race" or "class" card as your only argument.

You think terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals.

You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.

You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.

You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.

You frown upon self-thought and independent thought.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

And Finally......................................................

You may be a Liberal if you think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.

WHEW!!

Rob

dissention · #2 01-21-2004, 06:50 PM

A few of those are over the line, but I like htme for the most part.

Here are the rules for being a Republican:

1) You must believe that being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and requires our prayers for your "recovery".

2) You have to truly believe that people who are privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3) You have to believe that the US should get out of the UN and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Kali.

7) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of welfare, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10) You hate the ALCU for representing atheists and gays, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.

11) You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.

12) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

14) You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

15) You have to believe that federally funded universal health insurance is Socialist and wrong, and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

16) You have to believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is the epitome of Socialism.

17) You believe that "tobacco's link to cancer" and "global warming" are "junk science", but Creationism should be taught in schools.

18) You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

20) You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, except for banning gay marriages and censoring the internet.

21) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".

22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.

23) You support state's rights, which means Ashcroft telling the states which locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.

24) You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".

25) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is Communist and oppressive, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

dissention · #3 01-21-2004, 07:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rob67
You think displaying the American flag is jingoistic or Nationalistic.

Not at all; I just think that the flag-waving in our country has gotten so ridiculous that it's laughable. Waving a flag doesn't make you patriotic.

You think Independence Day is an evil holiday and you won't celebrate it because of the reasons stated above.

No.

You are constantly and forever whining, griping, and complaining about how you can't stand America, yet you are still a U.S. citizen who lives here, pays your taxes, and supports the economy.

I can stand our country, just not its leaders.

You think we deserved the Sept. 11 attacks and secretly hope for the next attack.

I've NEVER met a liberal that thought that. If it wasn't meant in a lighthearted way, I would take offense to that!

You think it is terrible for someone to come into a public school classroom and talk about Christianity, but it is okay for someone to some in there to talk about Kaballah, Buddhism, or Allah, etc.

No, I think all religions should be excluded from public schools.

You think that divorce is always the right answer to any marriage problems.

It usually is.

You were very saddened to learn of the deaths of the Hussein brothers last summer and think that it was wrong.

Not saddened, just disappointed that we couldn't bring them in. Instead, we had to kill them.

You hope that Saddam Hussein is being well-taken care of in custody and that he gets a light, fair sentence.

I hope he is being treated humanely; if he wasn't, we're no better than he is. And I hope he spends the rest of his life in prison. Sorry, I don't believe in the death penalty.

You always decry the U.S. admin side of the war, but have never decried Hussein's treatment of his own people during his regime.

EVERYONE decries the treatment of his people.

Your opinion of Hussein's regime is, "who are we to say how he should treat his people?"

I would hope that isn't my opinion.

You think that George Washington is nothing but a adulterer.

He was a good president, but he let his willy go off wherever it pleased. The conservatives think Clinton is the devil for poking Monica, so...?

You think that Columbus is nothing but an Indian-killer.

He is nothing but an Indian killer. He didn't "discover" America.

You think that only those facts about the above two should be taught in public school history.

No, I just think the truth should be taught.

You support school classes being multi-lingual and don't think foreign children should have to take ESL classes.

It should be an option, not a requirement. if their parents are paying taxes, it doesn't matter to me.

You don't think that any foreigners should have to learn english and that we should all just cater to their language needs.

See above.

You deny all of the above statements in one sentence, then turn around and basically support the statements in the next sentence.

I'm not a Republican, so I can't be that stupid.

You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination.

Oh please.

You think that women and men are basically alike and essentially interchangeable, that "gender" is a result of culturally imposed norms, not innate, natural dispositions

Us liberals listen to sociologists, not just the bible.

you think that people are born with sexual "orientation", but that sex (or gender) can be changed with a knife.

People are born gay and if someone wants to change their gender, who are we to stop them?

you think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable.

Sounds like a Republican comment.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

If I had money to give away to the people who need it, I would.

You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned

Ugh.

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

If their ancestors had a huge part in building a business, they certainly should.

You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.

If Republicans had any charisma, this would apply to them.

You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.

No, I call a spade a spade.

You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

Ask Shrub about his jury poll question sheet.

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

I take issue with both.

You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

If I pay taxes, I should be able to piss on it wherever I please.

You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.

Hahahaha.

You believe if Martin Sheen or Sean Penn said so, it has to be a universally known fact

No, but I'd listen to them before I listened to Shrub or Ahnuld.

You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism

There is no justification, but you have to have an understanding of why it occurs.

You think every problem can be solved with bigger Government

Well, no can be solved at the present moment, so...

You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit

Uh, no, but Bush does. Cue the Shirley Bassey music.

You think Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden and Hitler were just "misunderstood"

Yeah, and Bush is just a good ole boy who never sipped booze in his life.

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions

Everyone should, but everyone is different.

Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

Nope.

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

In some cases, socialism does. Example: health care. Just look at the UK.

You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child

I'm pro-choice and I don't believe in the death penalty. there is a big difference; it isn't so black and white.

The government should provide cradle to grave entitlement programs for everyone.

Why not...

No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead.

Nope.

The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

They already do.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

I'd be a fool to say that. But Bush is just as evil as they are.

You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.

Yes, I do like the Dixie Chicks.

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care

Yup.

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

No, but he was much moreso than Bush.

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government

In some cases.

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

This has nothing to do with being liberal.

You want to reward those who do not wish to work, and at the same time, punish those who do work

It's not so black and white.
[/B]

That's all I can muster for now.

Rob67 · #4 01-21-2004, 10:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dissention
That's all I can muster for now.

Good Stuff!!!

For the record...I didn't author all of those...just added a few.

Nor do I believe them all...

Rob

dissention · #5 01-21-2004, 10:06 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rob67
Good Stuff!!!

For the record...I didn't author all of those...just added a few.

Nor do I believe them all...

Rob

I didn't think you did.

It was a loooooooooooooooooong list!

strandinthewind · #6 01-21-2004, 10:06 PM

Those are all hyterical

jwd · #7 01-21-2004, 10:18 PM

Hey Rob, thanks for posting those. Here's a few that I feel strongly about.

Quote:

You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.

How true, and how WRONG.

Quote:

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.

You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas

Quote:

You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.

YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!

Quote:

You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military secrets to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.

If you protest Arnold's alleged "groping" of women while cheering when Bill Clinton admitted to sexual mis-conduct.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program and lowering moral.

Hypocrites!

Quote:

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions(unless you're Republican)

The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot.

You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all"

I'm proud to be a conservative.

Joe

dissention · #8 01-21-2004, 10:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jwd
I'm proud to be a conservative.

That's the defintion of shock and awe.

Just to get the pot stirred, why are you conservatives against reparations?

strandinthewind · #9 01-21-2004, 10:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dissention
That's the defintion of shock and awe.

Just to get the pot stirred, why are you conservatives against reparations?

Well, I say if you have it for one class of people you have it for everyone. Again, every Irishman that was imported to work until they died because it was cheaper than buying and caring for a slave, deserves compensation. I mean if you want to go that route, the Italian govt. owes the Christians

Also, to me its the whole ex post facto argument. How can I today be held financially liable today for something my great, great . . . . grandparents did that was perfectly legal. The Const. seemingly prohibits that (Art. 1, Sec. 9 "No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed."). If it had been illegal that might be another issue. But, it was legal prior to December 1865, when Art. XXIII was ratified (Art. IV, Sec. 2 "No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due." Also, clearly any statute of limitations in common law has expired.

If the money went to some kind of college fund, I would not mind so much. But, to award millions to an individual for something perfectly legal that happened to people they never knew. I just do not get that. Moreover, many many almost fully caucasians would get $$$$ if 200 years ago, they had any enslaved black blood.

Finally, not all slave owners treated their slaves poorly. That is kind of a Hollywood myth. I mean why would you beat to death every day and starve your best workers that you paid handsomely for. Think about it. Note: I am not justifying slavery or saying it was a bed of roses by any means. It was not; it was a horrible thing. I am just saying that it is illogical to think that every slave was beaten everyday as seemingly depicted by Hollywood.

strandinthewind · #10 01-21-2004, 10:47 PM

Now - if the govt. wants to give some amount - I could care a less. If they do, however, that will be the end of AA based on race

sparky · #11 01-21-2004, 10:50 PM

SORRY FOR THE RESPONSE IN CAPS. DON'T MEAN TO YELL, BUT CAN'T GET THIS PROGRAM TO DO ITALICS OR BOLD ON MY COMPUTER !

You think it is terrible for someone to come into a public school classroom and talk about Christianity, but it is okay for someone to some in there to talk about Kaballah, Buddhism, or Allah, etc.

NO RELIGION IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. EVER.

You think that divorce is always the right answer to any marriage problems.

DIVORCE IS A DISASTER FOR ALL. MARRIAGES AND DIVORCES SHOULD BOTH BE VERY DIFFICULT TO GET. MAYBE THEY WOULD BE VALUED MORE.

You support school classes being multi-lingual and don't think foreign children should have to take ESL classes.

ALL SCHOOLS SHOULD REQUIRE ENGLISH. IF KIDS ARE BEHIND AND NEED SOME TUTORING IN THIER NATIVE LANGUAGE TILL THEY ARE UP TO SPEED, THAT ONLY MAKES SENSE.

You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination

EVERYONE DISCRIMINATES.

You think that women and men are basically alike and essentially interchangeable, that "gender" is a result of culturally imposed norms, not innate, natural dispositions

MEN AND WOMEN ARE RADICALLY DIFFERENT. NOT A BAD THING.

you think that people are born with sexual "orientation", but that sex (or gender) can be changed with a knife.

I WAS BORN WITH MINE, IF MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY. GENDER, EVIDENTLY, IS AS PSYCHOLOGICAL AS PHYSIOLOGICAL.

you think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable.

RACIAL HATRED IS DESTRUCTIVE AND IGNORANT. CLASS HATRED IS NOT SO BRIGHT EITHER.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

SEEING AS I AM TAXED WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE, I AM ALREADY SHARING.

You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned

PEDOPHILIA IS VILE. GOD CAN'T BE BANNED. GOVERNMENT JUST SHOULDN'T DICTATE RELIGION.

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

NOT IN MY LIFETIME. STOLEN PROPERTY, HOWEVER, SHOULD BE RETURNED.

You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

I'LL WAIT TILL THE JURY IS IN ON THE MASSIVE ARSENAL OF WMD'S.

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

I THINK IT IS SILLY AS HELL THAT IT IS ON MY MONEY.

You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

PARTS OF IT AREN'T WORKING, PARTS OF IT ARE.

You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.

I BETTER GUT MY LIBRARY AND MUSIC COLLECTIONS !

You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism

I LIKE TO UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DO WHAT THEY DO. I UNDERSTAND WHY RELIGIOUS FANATICS WOULD LIKE TO GUT ME AND THROW ME IN A DITCH - GOOD TO KNOW THE BIBLE IS SO USEFUL TO THEM.

You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit

LIKE THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION IS DOING ? THE GOVERNMENT IS ESSENTIALLY BEING RUN ON CREDIT CARDS. HA ! WAIT TILL THOSE FINANCES CHARGES COME IN THE MAIL !

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions

COMPLETE RESPONSIBLITY. PUT KENNETH LAY IN THE PUBLIC SQUARE IN THE STOCKS IMMEDIATELY.

Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

MOTHERS WHO ARE DRUG ADDICTS AND HAVE CHILDREN SHOULD BE STERILIZED.

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

SOCIALIZED MEDICINE MIGHT MAKE A LOT MORE PEOPLE HEALTHIER. CAPITALISM ALWAYS TAKES SOMETHING OUT OF SOMEONE'S HIDE SOMEWHERE. BUT IT WORKS.

You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child

IN A SYSTEM WITH BETTER CERTAINTY, I SAY BRING ON THE DEATH PENALTY. THERE ARE FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE ALREADY.
MORE CHILDREN ? THE LAST THING THIS WORLD NEEDS.

No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead.

DEAD TREES SHOULD BE USED. WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL HOW MANY TREES WE CUT. GIANT OLD TREES AND FORESTS ARE A FINITE RESOURCE AND TAKE A LONG TIME TO GROW BACK.

The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

IF THEY SPENT THE MONEY MORE WISELY, I WOULD FORK OVER MORE.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

I THINK HE IS A LITTLE DIM, ULTIMATELY BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY VERY EVIL PEOPLE.

You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.

THEY USUALLY TELL ME THAT, AND I DEFEND THE COUNTRY.

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care

I AM ALL ABOUT CHOICES. JUST KEEP STATE SPONSORED RELIGION OFF MY CHOICE PLATE.

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

CLINTON LIED ABOUT SEX, LIKE ALL MEN DO. OTHERWISE, AS HONEST A POLITICIAN AS I HAVE SEEN. THEY ARE ALL SCUM TO SOME DEGREE.

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government

UNWED TEENAGE MOTHERS SHOULD GET A CLUE AND SHUT THEIR LEGS. THE TOTALLY DESPERATE NEED SOME SUPPORT OF SOME KIND. WE COULD LET THEM STARVE, I GUESS, BUT THAT WOULDN'T BE VERY CHRISTIAN OF US.

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

YOU PLAY THE GAME, YOU PAY THE PRICE. EVEN THE ILLITERATE KNOW SMOKING IS DANGEROUS.

You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.

IN TERMS OF LONG TERM DAMAGE, HE'S UP THERE.

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

CONSERVATIVES TELLING THE TRUTH ? ARE MONKEYS FLYING OUT OF RUSH LIMBAUGH'S BUTT ?

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

PARENTS WHO WON'T TEACH THEIR KIDS ABOUT SEX DON'T DESERVE TO BE PARENTS, AND DO DESERVE WHAT HAPPENS AS A CONSEQUENCE.

You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military secrets to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.

THAT MUST BE BUSH SR., RIGHT ?

You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to appease and compromise with them.

LIKE WE'RE DOING WITH THE SAUDIS ?

You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas

THE RISING COST OF GAS IS THE RESULT OF THE PEOPLE WHO SELL IT WANTING MORE MONEY. WE NEED TO GET OFF THE GAS TIT, PRONTO.

You believe that morals and integrity should never get in the way of popular opinion

POPULAR OPINION IS OVERRATED. NOTE THE CAREER OF CELINE DION.

You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.

DRUGS SUCK. LET THE IDIOTS USE THEM.

You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake

IF THE FORTUNES OF YOUR CONTRIBUTORS ARE AT STAKE, INDEED, MY PETROLEUM REFINING FRIENDS !

You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point

THERE REALLY ARE NUCLEAR WEAPONS ALL OVER THE MIDDLE EAST. THERE REALLY IS A TERRORIST THREAT. THERE REALLY IS A THREAT. BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID. LIVING IN THE US IS DAMNED NEAR LIKE LIVING IN BEIRUT. BE VERY AFRAID. TAPE YOUR WINDOWS. RED ALERT, PURPLE ALERT, HIDE UNDER THE BED !!!!

You think trial Lawyers suing big corporations with lawsuits that deny arguments of personal responsibility is a "good thing"

KILL ALL THE LAWYERS.

You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID, THERE ARE TERRORISTS EVERYWHERE.

You think that "truth" is irrelevant.

SEE ABOVE.

You think Ah-Nold should not have been allowed to run for Gov, because he's "just a celebrity", but at the same time, you would have had no problem endorsing Babs, Tim Robbins, or Martin Sheen based on that very criteria.

AHNULD IS A DILETTANT. BABS IS ANNOYING. THE OTHERS DON'T WARRANT COMMENT.

You refuse to ever fly the American flag or any other show of patriotism because this country has so many things wrong with it.

A FLAG FLIES AT MY MAILBOX AS I TYPE.

You believe that the term 'illegal immigrant' is profane.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE CRIMINALS AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.

You are a college professor at a big university.

IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE I TEACH WRESTLING AT AN ALL MALE UNIVERSITY.

You believe that we deserved and asked for the Sept. 11 attacks.

I BELIEVE 9/11 IS THE WORST DISASTER OF MY LIFETIME, AND THE GREATEST THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN TO BUSH.

You think of our servicemen/women as being brainwashed, manipulated zombies.

I AM VERY PROUD OF ALL OF THEM AND AM AWED BY THEIR SERVICE. ALAS, I AM A HOMO AND THE MILITARY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ME WHEN I WAS OF AGE.

You think that we have no business saying how Iraq should be run and therefore Saddam should of stayed in power.

WE HAVE A LOT OF NERVE TRYING TO RULE THE WORLD. OUR ACTIONS WOULD HAVE MORE WEIGHT WITH MORE ALLIES ON OUR SIDE.

You think that any WMD's that will be found were planted there by the Bush admin.

STILL WAITING FOR THAT MOUNTAIN TO BE UNCOVERED. I AM SURE OSB IS HIDING UNDER IT WITH HIS DIALYSIS MACHINE.

You have ever made a donation to Greenpeace

I THINK FLEETWOOD MAC GAVE THEM PLENTY OF MONEY.

If you protest Arnold's alleged "groping" of women while cheering when Bill Clinton admitted to sexual mis-conduct.

THEY'RE BOTH MEN. BOTH DOGS. IRRELEVANT.

If you decry every mention of Christian faith but demand a paid day off on Christmas

I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EXACTLY HOW THE CHRISTIANS CO-OPTED THE WINTER SOLSTICE FROM THE PAGANS.

If you think Yassar Arrafat really cares about peace

I THINK ARAFAT IS THE ULTIMATE WINNER OF THE RINGO STARR LOOK ALIKE CONTEST AND SHOULD TOUR WITH THE SURVIVING BEATLES.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand

I DON'T EVEN AGREE WITH THEIR CAREER MOVES.

You are against the war on terrorism, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars making movies about it

I GOT OFFERED A JOB ON A HACK MOVIE ABOUT JESSICA LYNCH. DIDN'T DO IT.

You preach about the evils of capitalism from the comfort of your $50,000,000 Beverly Hills mansion

IF ONLY.

You think that being able to play the President on a TV show automatically grants "political expertise" in real life.

BEING THE PRESIDENT'S SON DOES THAT.

You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all"

OH NO. BORROWING MONEY IS.

You think Hollywood is some kind of "supreme god" who can do and say no wrong, and should be worshipped 24/7

HOLLYWOOD IS SILLY. AND EVERYONE EATS IT UP.

You call lies "truth" and you call truth "propaganda"

ORANGE ALERT.

You believed Al Gore when he said he "invented the Internet"

IF ONLY A SURGEON COULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A PERSONALITY TRANSPLANT.

You believed Bill Clinton when he said he "felt your pain".

I THINK CLINTON UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO NOT HAVE THE WORLD HANDED TO YOU ON A PLATTER AND HAVE YOUR FAMILY BAIL YOUR SORRY DRUNKEN ASS OUT WHENEVER YOU FAIL.

You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe

DAMN THOSE ABORTION DOCTORS WANTING TO LIVE.

You think if a crime is committed with a gun, the gun is responsible, and NOT the offender

GUNS MAKE IT EASIER FOR COWARDS TO KILL PEOPLE. BUT THEY DON'T FIRE THEMSELVES.

You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns

I BLAME CHARLTON HESTON.

You think that another person's rights are an infringement upon your own rights

I THINK MY SEXUALITY IS DESTROYING MARRIAGES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY AND HAS BEEN SINCE MY BIRTH.

You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble"

CORPORATIONS, RUN BY THE SANE AND DECENT, ARE A WONDER TO BEHOLD. COMMUNISM ? GOOD IDEA, FOR SOME SPECIES.

You think the UN is an efficient governmental body

GREAT CONCEPT. EGOTISTICAL, ARROGANT PARTICIPANTS.

You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.

NOT ON MY WATCH.

You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler"

KENNEDY FAMILY ? BOOZE MONEY AND BAD TEETH. JFK - GOOD PRESIDENT AND ROTTEN HUSBAND. BUSH A HITLER ? GIVEN THE CHANCE. HE'S ALREADY GOT GOEBBELS, I MEAN RUMSFELD, I MEAN GOEBBELS....

You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated"

OUT OF FASHION, CERTAINLY.

You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority

THE MINORITY SHOULD BE PROTECTED FROM THE MAJORITY IF THEY ARE IN CONSTANT DANGER.

You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders

SOMEONE OUGHT TO GET AUTOMATIC WEAPONS OUT OF THE HANDS OF DRUG DEALERS IN SOUTH CENTRAL LA. IS CHARLTON HESTON AVAILABLE ?

You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush

ALL BAD. ALL THE TIME.

You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do

BOTH.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program and lowering moral.

IF BUSH HAD BEEN IN THE MILITARY, HIS STUNTS WOULD HAVE AT LEAST HAD TINGES OF HONESTY. CLINTON ACTUALLY SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO THE MILITARY AND PRAISED THEM FOR BEATING GAY SOLDIERS TO DEATH. WHAT WAS HE THINKING ?

You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.

YEAH. THAT'S IT. ACTUALLY, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FIRE PEOPLE WHO ARE STRAIGHT AND HAVE KIDS. AT WILL. AND THEN KICK THEM OUT THE DOOR AS I SNICKER BEHIND THEIR BACKS AND CALL THEM NAMES !

You think the meaning of the Constitution changes with your moods or to suit your own ideals and/or agendas.

TO TELL THE TRUTH, I THINK STATES SHOULD HAVE PRECEDENCE AND FEDS SHOULDN'T MEDDLE IN THEIR BUSINESS. OH, EXCEPT WHEN ASHCROFT SAYS DIFFERENTLY.

You think freedom OF religion means annihilation of any reference religion.

FREEDOM OF RELIGION PROBABLY SHOULD MEAN THAT KIDS SHOULD PRAY IN SCHOOLS. IN EACH CLASS, A POLL SHOULD BE DONE, AND FOR EACH RELIGION PRACTICED BY THE STUDENTS, EQUAL TIME SHOULD BE GIVEN FOR PRAYER AND STUDY. SAY, TEN MINUTES FOR EACH RELIGION. WHEN THAT'S DONE, MAYBE THEY CAN LEARN READING, MATH, AND SCIENCE.

You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians or other religious groups should be taken away

I THINK THAT GAYS AND LESBIANS SHOULD BE STONED TO DEATH, AND THE ADULTERERS SHOULD BE RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. ISN'T THAT IN SOME CRAZY BOOK SOMEWHERE ? AND WHAT ABOUT THAT MIXED FIBER THING ? I BELIEVE THAT IS AN ABOMINATION TOO. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, SHOULDN'T WE BE BANISHING ALL THOSE MENSTRUATING, UNCLEAN WOMEN ? CAN WE SET UP CAMPS FOR THEM ?

You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.

POOR RUSH.

You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE ABORTION CLINIC BOMBERS !

You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.

BOTH BOOKS REFLECT REALITY IN THEIR ERAS. IF, IN FACT, REALITY IS ACCEPTABLE.

You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.

HURRAH FOR GOVERNOR AHNULD !

REMEMBER EVERYONE - BE AFRAID. THERE ARE TERRORISTS EVERYWHERE ! LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

THAT WAS FUN.

strandinthewind · #12 01-21-2004, 10:56 PM

OMG - Sparky I agree I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny Stew · #13 01-22-2004, 12:11 AM

Well, dang... not a single one of those fits me!

Ah well, I'm still confident that I'm not a conservative!
I mean, I have enough trouble sleeping at night, without that on my conscience!

Rob67 · #14 01-22-2004, 12:49 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dissention
Just to get the pot stirred, why are you conservatives against reparations?

Not unless some are coming my way from the English...I am Scottish\Irish.

Most of my family wasn't even over hear during the slavery era and the ones who were had members who fought and died for the Union. We've payed our dues in blood, you could say.

Reparations will not solve anything. How can someone be punished for something that happened over 100 years before they were born? Besides "reparations" sort of already exist in the form of Affirmative Action anyway.

Rob

Rob67 · #15 01-22-2004, 12:51 AM

Sparky, I LMAO when I read your reply....

I knew I would be entertained by this thread....

Rob