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Old 07-04-2017, 12:40 PM
Hawkeye Hawkeye is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Posts: 4,288
Default OCD, other mental illness and our favorite band.

I've recently been diagnosed with OCD(April was when I was given this diagnosis) after what I would probably say was a 3 year plunge into bad depression and anxiety, that I never had a name for and really thought there was no way all the random things wrong with me could possibly be defined by any known condition or that there were other people with the exact same symptoms.

My mind went to a bunch of possibilities, but OCD was never one of them , mainly because my perception of what OCD was always based on the show Monk, and I never felt like Monk (in hindsight tho that's not entirely true) it at we 4 sessions and a lot of different tests the psychiatrist said it seems like textbook OCD. And then I hen I got home and read about what OCD actually" is it fit like a freaking glove right down to there being thousands of people out there with a legit love and hate to certain numbers!

Looking back, I've had OCD since I was 3, but it got way better for about 10 years and reignited harder then ever before about 3 years ago due to a mildly traumatic experience mixed with heavier weed use. Every single move and action goes they the longest checklist in my head. I struggle to send the simplest texts because the wording just isn't right... and I've even started and abandon d so many threads for this very board due to this danm OCD.

Really if anyone here is familiar with both A) the symptoms of OCD and B) my posting history which includes many many many very long and rambling threads/posts, usually full of incredible detail. It's all related to the illness. In the past 3 years it's related to my decline I. Posting since i second guess my willingness to voice any thought that comes into my head, not just on the ledge but in real life.

Now finally getting to the point and there is one or multiple even.because I'm not the type of person to just talk about myself just because I want everyone to know and be aware I have OCD. No first of all I want to sort of "warn" everyone of an increase
In threads started by me over the next month I'd say. I have a lot of OCD thoughts about the band that I'm just gonna finally let out now that m slowly recovering. Some thing may seem out of date like I want to give my thoughts on the Stevie show in Pittsburgh I went to in March, plus a lot of thoughts on other hot band topics that I ve been holding onto.

Also I think I've come to realize the past few months that a big reason that my favorite band is Fleetwood Mac is that I really identify with all of their personalities. I still love them most for their music but there are a lot of bands that have close to as good music to my ears, but I don't love to watch any of them fu**ing five interviews and I legit can watch and enjoy all the members of Fleetwood Mac talk because there's something rxtra about them I identify with. And that always messed with my head because I could never figure out what it was. Take Stevie for the easiest to explain example although she's not the only one. For most of her fans that something extra s her fashion, clothes, style, foot ware etc. because t I mean it when I say iBooks get ve a rats ass what she wears on stage or on public. I'm fine with her wearing the same black dress in every appearance, don't care one bit.

No the extra thing I love and identify with Stevie on is her very apparent mental illness. Maybe it's OCD too or something similar, but hate change simply because I hate change. It doesn't have to be a bad one and I may even be fearful of a good change. Her unwillingness to change her wardrobe actually comforts me.

Our biggest similarity is the need to have those ribbons on her mic stand. I 100 percent always need t have a small towel or striping or something similar to wrap around my hands:fingers. Now I've been doing this since I was 4 and didn't discover who Stevie nicks was until I was 11. That's an important distinction because even I started to question myself with "well maybe watching so much live footage of Stevie nicks subconsciously made me start to do that" but thinking deeper I definitely was doing it long before o knew Stevie was too.

It's kind of bothered me on this bird that Christines phobias and mental illness is sort of coddled and sympathized with (and that's straight from HER mouth calling it a mental illness) and Stevie's very obvious compulsions and insecurities are mocked and ridiculed all shrouded on the defense of "well Christine actually took 16 years off, but Stevie keeps going on these tours and makes all this money..." kind of like how n my real life no one is really taking my OCD that seriously because I can hold down my job and got a few recent promotions and for the lost pet really keep all my symptoms hidden, almost being the opposite extreme sometimes. Seeming over confident in myself when I'm very unconfident (sound familiar bob Dylan anyone)

Anyways sorry for any future long rambling threads including this one. It's not attention seeking like many members past (musicman etc.) and the other extreme could happen. My meds might be making me think I will finally start to post my thoughts and then nothing will happen for the next few months.

Also I guess the purpose of this thread is for anyone else to share struggles they are going through with OCD or another mental illness. Also anyone feel
Free to agree or disagree with my theory of Fleetwood Mac be Being full of very mentally ill members!
Never Dance with the Devil

He Will Burn You Down
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Old 07-06-2017, 07:16 AM
JohnL JohnL is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: Tampa, Florida
Posts: 755

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I know everyone here is sending you all our most positive thoughts and support. I have suffered through some minor depression in my life and it totally sucks. I guess half the battle is identifying the of luck to you!!

You are right though...mental illness is everywhere and in almost everyone in some form or fashion. We need to recognize that and reach out and try to help instead of poking fun or worse at people who suffer.
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Old 07-06-2017, 03:12 PM
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SisterNightroad SisterNightroad is offline
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Italy
Posts: 5,214

Hi Hawkeye, John has pratically already saidanything but I still wanted to wish you good luck on your quest to reconquer yourself, it won't be easy but you'll end up being very proud of you.
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