A disturbing PM I just received that needs to be openly discussed

[TrueFaith77]

I just received the following PM from DavidMN:

Listen up, I am sick and tired of you talking about me behind my back to people here. I dont appreciate it, and you better knock it the F**K off got it?

Normally, I would simply respect this request and deal with those who may have relayed this information back to DavidMN in a more private fashion. However, because his PM to me ended with what seems like a threat, I have to address this publicly and I have to address this with Moderators, who I hope will advise as to proper etiquette on the board.

First of all, I want to apologize to DavidMN. I am gossipy, but also I am self-deprecating: the story to which DavidMN is referring acted as a humorous tale of my own fallibility--a fallibility that presents itself when people meet outside of an Internet forum and in the real world. That story could have been told without being specific. Honestly, I don't remember if other people were talking about DavidMN, and that's why I was also specific or if it was just my own bad judgement and bad taste and bad heartedness. Again, I apologize.

I admire DavidMN's ability to put himself out there, which means opening himself up to the possibility of ridicule. And I failed that trust.

On a personal note: I need to reconsider the people with whom I share personal, private experiences. I tend to be very shy (most who attend NOTS will note that I go alone and then talk to nobody). However, when I do decide to open myself up--a gambit I took with the members of the Webster Hall Gang--I tend to be too trusting of people, and that includes being willing to show aspects of myself that may be unattractive.

I have heard a lot of people's stories and opinions about other members of this board (not just DavidMN). I would never relay that back to the subjects because I believe--for all my gossiping!--we have a bond to be respected. Someone in the Webster Hall Gang is trying to stir up trouble--maybe acting out of an allegiance to DavidMN or, more likely, a dislike of me--but either way, that person did not stand up for DavidMN to my face--as I HAVE done for some here who have been talked about by others.

I would hope that person or persons would reveal him/herself here so that I don't have to cast suspicion on everyone--that is unfair to them and to me.

Anyway... I do suspect that many will be happy to know that I revoke my membership in the Webster Hall Gang.

[fumidesigns]

I have a problem with this! I do not appreciate the stabbing right now! Wtf!?

[Jondalar]

oh hell, people say things about me all the time on this thing. Why do you care? Garbage in, garbage out!

[fumidesigns]

Originally Posted by Jondalar

oh hell, people say things about me all the time on this thing. Why do you care? Garbage in, garbage out!

Y not care? I like to think that I met some wonderful, beautiful, fun and caring people on this board. It really bothers me to know that folks are talking behind other's backs!!! With that being said......IF ANYONE HAS ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT ME, PLEASE FEEL FREE, ESPECIALLY IF YOU R APART OF THE "CREW"

[mezzoforte]

The Webster Hall Gang--we sound so threatening, don't we? I hope you aren't really revoking "membership," John. I've always enjoyed your presence and humor.

Are we all meant to plead innocence here? I can honestly say I haven't spoken to David since Red Rocks, and have never relayed any negative stories I may have heard about him.
Good luck to all involved. Hoping for a peaceful resolution.

[Silver Springs]

Although this really has nothing to do with me, owing to the fact that I don't even know what the Webster Hall thing even is lol, I'm not entirely sure that I'm comfortable with this kind of laundry being aired so publicly. Have you spoken with a mod in private about your concerns? It feels a little like one of those threads that will inevitably end in a ****storm to me, and Buddha knows we've had enough conflict here lately.

Just my two penneth.

[fumidesigns]

From the "horse's mouth", what was allegedly said about you?

[RickRobert]

I check back here and everyone's acting like five year olds. Lovely.

[TrueFaith77]

Originally Posted by Silver Springs

Although this really has nothing to do with me, owing to the fact that I don't even know what the Webster Hall thing even is lol, I'm not entirely sure that I'm comfortable with this kind of laundry being aired so publicly. Have you spoken with a mod in private about your concerns? It feels a little like one of those threads that will inevitably end in a ****storm to me, and Buddha knows we've had enough conflict here lately.

Just my two penneth.

As I stated, I agree that this should not have gotten to the point that it needed to be taken to the public forum. However, consider the nature of the note I received, which is:

1) vague re: the "sh*t" I'm being accused of talking
2) failing to mention the source who made this accusation
3) contains the false inference that there was more than one occasion that I've ever said anything about DavidMN in my life
4) the threatening tone at the end of the message

If David had asked for clarification, I would have offered it.

If he had demanded an apology, he would have gotten it. Causing him pain was not my intent, but it may have been the consequence of something I relayed to the Gang. For that I am genuinely sorry.

If he had not been threatening in the message, I would have asked him to clarify points 1, 2, 3--and addressed the situation from there in private with him and his source.

However, he has put me in the position of feeling physically unsafe every time I go to a Mac-related concert. He has accused me of an act that I may not have committed (and thus could be falsely accused of doing again--thus leading to that threat being acted upon). He has put me in the position of suspecting everyone in the entire Gang of being untrustworthy and a troublemaker who doesn't care about my safety, which is unfair to all except for the actual backstabber.

All of this means that this has gone too far in the non-public realm.

If someone threatens me, I'll make sure there are witnesses.

And if someone is trying to cause trouble, I think that person should step up.

As for going directly to a Mod, I suppose I should have tried that first to find out if that would lead to an appropriate resolution, but then I would have ended up calling up friends and telling them about the situation and it would have been more "behind the scenes" gossip and games of telephone.

I am hopeful the mods will advise as to what is appropriate--publicly--so that everybody is on the same page.

[HomerMcvie]

Remember when I said a couple of days ago, how I copy and save Ledge train wrecks, before the thread gets deleted?

This.would.be.a.good.example.

[fumidesigns]

Originally Posted by RickRobert

I check back here and everyone's acting like five year olds. Lovely.

First of all, it's more like highschool not kindergarten. Secondly, I consider these folks my friends so watch it. That comment, imo, was NOT neccessary.

[fumidesigns]

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

Remember when I said a couple of days ago, how I copy and save Ledge train wrecks, before the thread gets deleted?

This.would.be.a.good.example.

U r so silly! Lmbao!!!!!

[HomerMcvie]

Originally Posted by fumidesigns

U r so silly! Lmbao!!!!!

I am VERY silly. And while I don't like participating in drama, it's kind of fascinating, watching it all play out, waiting for the train to come off the tracks.

We could wager, on how many minutes it takes, for thread deletion!

[Silver Springs]

Originally Posted by TrueFaith77

As for going directly to a Mod, I suppose I should have tried that first to find out if that would lead to an appropriate resolution, but then I would have ended up calling up friends and telling them about the situation and it would have been more "behind the scenes" gossip and games of telephone.

I am hopeful the mods will advise as to what is appropriate--publicly--so that everybody is on the same page.

I stand vehemently behind my first post. Not going to argue my case, however, as I fully expect you to waste time further on a well constructed response that will be received by somebody firmly set in their opinion. Good luck with your issue, and I hope whatever you hoped to achieve with this cumbersome thread is the outcome thereof.

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie

I am VERY silly. And while I don't like participating in drama, it's kind of fascinating, watching it all play out, waiting for the train to come off the tracks.

We could wager, on how many minutes it takes, for thread deletion!

I wager three Coconuts and a Chris De Burgh album on the thread vanishing miraculously overnight along with all mentions of it in the thinking thread.

[Christopher]

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

The Webster Hall Gang--we sound so threatening, don't we? I hope you aren't really revoking "membership," John. I've always enjoyed your presence and humor.

Are we all meant to plead ignorance here? I can honestly say I haven't spoken to David since Red Rocks, and have never relayed any negative stories I may have heard about him.
Good luck to all involved. Hoping for a peaceful resolution.

This is really sucky Yes, we all put ourselves out there for potential scrutiny when we meet in the real world. But the implications directly to the Webster Hall Crew are disconcerting to me (sharing in part of that experience). From my perspective, we all had a fun & frivolous night of getting to know each other over several hours, musing about everything Stevie. Simultaneously celebrating the release of "In Your Dreams", while mourning the cancellation of Webster. And I agree Mimi, I too "met some wonderful, beautiful, fun and caring people on this board"! Personally, I do not participate in PMing much at all, unless it serves utilitarian purposes and would never engage in a smear campaign of another Ledgie! And besides, I've not had the opportunity of meeting David. What is this? High School drama!?! Whomever is involved, I hope this can be remedied maturely and dignified.