dumb sh*t that's happened to you - Page 2

all the same · #16 08-11-2005, 04:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macfanken

Someone threw a rock through my windshield while I was driving about 50 mph... shattered my windshield. I had glass everywhere... in my mouth, hair, stuck to my face... luckily nothing in my eyes. It shook me up pretty good.

Jesus! Your heart must have nearly flown out of your chest! That would be so scary! I hit a deer once and she hit right in front of me and I had glass everywhere. Windshield glass in your face is VERY SCARY!

all the same · #17 08-11-2005, 04:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GateandGarden

Wow, I don't have any of those types of stories....well I have some that aren't really amusing like yours.

Okay, the thing about the worms in your "plant water" that obviously wasn't supposed to be plant water made me laugh really hard. Thank you for that!

And that guy using your bathtub? That is scary. How crazy!

In retrospect the worms in my water is funny, but at the time, obviously, I went green! As long as you can laugh at my expense!

Yeah, the douche bag in my bathtub was really gross. I forgot to say that he brought his own BATH BOMBS!!! What the hell, eh? There was residue in the tub from them. Like he knew that was a great place to take a free bath! It only ever happened the once. After it happened, I was telling some people in the building (we're a pretty tight knit group) and I guess the last tenants up here had people using their toilet, so that's why the locks were put in. But no one ever experienced a skid in their tub! Wanker!

all the same · #18 08-11-2005, 04:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neal

One of my weirdest/scariest/funniest experiences happened several months ago (March, April?)

I was coming home from a bar at about 230-3am and fumbling in the pitch dark for my keys (there's only one streetlight on my whole friggin' block). Then from over my shoulder a light comes on and I turn around to see what I assumed was a homeless guy holding a flashlight

. He tells me I looked like I needed a hand, and I say thanks. Not knowing what the hell else I'm supposed to say

. So I get the door open and try to squeeze in and shut it behind me, but he puts his foot in the door and asks to use the phone. I tell him I don't have one but I'll give him change for the pay phone at the Chevron station down the street. He then tells me that I'm a liar because he saw me talking on my cell when I pulled in the driveway!
Now I'm starting to freak out a little and tell him he has to get out of here before the neighbors call the cops, to which he says "F*ck your neighbors!"

I'm still in front of the door and he's still got his foot in it. I was pretty buzzed and not thinking as well as I should have so I open the door the rest of the way and yell "What the f*ck do you want from me!?". I'm thinking I should make noise so that hopefully someone will look out the window before he shoots/stabs/beats me to a bloody pulp. As I'm saying this I reach over and turn on the patio lights. The "homeless" guy was actually my roommate who had just gotten home from his boyfriends

. If I wasn't so drunk, I'd have noticed his car parked beside mine, and for that matter, his voice! Apparently he thought he'd have a laugh at my expense. So he did. I wasn't able to laugh at it for several days, considering I almost pissed my pants...

That would have scared the piss outta me! People really should think these things through. Dark alleys aren't particularly funny places for practical jokes! I can't believe you didn't scratch his eyes out!

all the same · #19 08-11-2005, 04:58 PM

I forgot about my immaculate infection! This is gross, but I'm just gonna tell you. So... I had what appeared to me to be a bladder infection and one night, it was so bad that I called my friend to take me to emergency. They... swabbed me... very traumatizing... and asked me a thousand times if I was sexually active. I told them no. The doctor came back and asked me if I was sure I hadn't been sexually active recently. I said no! 100% no way it could be anything sexually transmitted. I was a total virgin at the time (like virgin in the sense that I hadn't even kissed someone yet). So, he looked puzzled and left again. The nurse came in and asked me and I told her the same thing. It was ridiculous! They wouldn't believe me and were really getting hostile and making me feel like crap for two reasons: 1) I was a virgin and who wants to be all like "total virgin sittin' here" to a couple of total strangers and 2) they wouldn't let the subject go! So, they came back after testing the... swab... shudder... and gave me chlamydia medication. I said, "Are you kidding me? There is no way it's an STD!!!" They told me to just take it and that it would help the infection whatever it is. Weird eh? They never said what the infection was though. Very strange! My immaculate infection!

strandinthewind · #20 08-11-2005, 04:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by all the same

I forgot about my immaculate infection! This is gross, but I'm just gonna tell you. So... I had what appeared to me to be a bladder infection and one night, it was so bad that I called my friend to take me to emergency. They... swabbed me... very traumatizing... and asked me a thousand times if I was sexually active. I told them no. The doctor came back and asked me if I was sure I hadn't been sexually active recently. I said no! 100% no way it could be anything sexually transmitted. I was a total virgin at the time (like virgin in the sense that I hadn't even kissed someone yet). So, he looked puzzled and left again. The nurse came in and asked me and I told her the same thing. It was ridiculous! They wouldn't believe me and were really getting hostile and making me feel like crap for two reasons: 1) I was a virgin and who wants to be all like "total virgin sittin' here" to a couple of total strangers and 2) they wouldn't let the subject go! So, they came back after testing the... swab... shudder... and gave me chlamydia medication. I said, "Are you kidding me? There is no way it's an STD!!!" They told me to just take it and that it would help the infection whatever it is. Weird eh? They never said what the infection was though. Very strange! My immaculate infection!

It is possible, though unlikely, to contract it in a locker room.

all the same · #21 08-11-2005, 05:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by strandinthewind

It is possible, though unlikely, to contract it in a locker room.

Hmmm... musta been somewhere. 'Cause it was definitely something. Not just your run of the mill bladder infection, which are really rare in men anyway. I'm convinced it was immaculate!

ontheEdgeof17 · #22 08-11-2005, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by all the same

Hmmm... musta been somewhere. 'Cause it was definitely something. Not just your run of the mill bladder infection, which are really rare in men anyway. I'm convinced it was immaculate!

If you end up pregnant....

amber · #23 08-11-2005, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by all the same

I forgot about my immaculate infection! This is gross, but I'm just gonna tell you. So... I had what appeared to me to be a bladder infection and one night, it was so bad that I called my friend to take me to emergency. They... swabbed me... very traumatizing... and asked me a thousand times if I was sexually active. I told them no. The doctor came back and asked me if I was sure I hadn't been sexually active recently. I said no! 100% no way it could be anything sexually transmitted. I was a total virgin at the time (like virgin in the sense that I hadn't even kissed someone yet). So, he looked puzzled and left again. The nurse came in and asked me and I told her the same thing. It was ridiculous! They wouldn't believe me and were really getting hostile and making me feel like crap for two reasons: 1) I was a virgin and who wants to be all like "total virgin sittin' here" to a couple of total strangers and 2) they wouldn't let the subject go! So, they came back after testing the... swab... shudder... and gave me chlamydia medication. I said, "Are you kidding me? There is no way it's an STD!!!" They told me to just take it and that it would help the infection whatever it is. Weird eh? They never said what the infection was though. Very strange! My immaculate infection!

oh, sweetie. No.

It was funny, though.

all the same · #24 08-11-2005, 05:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

oh, sweetie. No.

It was funny, though.

God Amber! I've told you my story. You know how laughable this is and pathetic at the same time! If you can't find yourself amusing, you got nothin'! Glad I made you laugh though! DICKHEAD!

all the same · #25 08-11-2005, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ontheEdgeof17

If you end up pregnant....

Immaculate INFECTION, not immaculate CONCEPTION!

Neal · #26 08-11-2005, 05:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by all the same

That would have scared the piss outta me! People really should think these things through. Dark alleys aren't particularly funny places for practical jokes! I can't believe you didn't scratch his eyes out!

I'm not that violent. But I did get him back (kinda) a few weeks later. I came home late again and knew he was in bed. So instead of using the door like a normal person, my drunk ass decided to climb through his window. I didn't say anything, but was noisy enough to wake him. He screamed like a little girl until he realized it was me.

I told him that's what he got for messing with me, and felt a little better. He still has the funnier story to tell though...

DrummerDeanna · #27 08-11-2005, 05:20 PM

That infection story is really disturbing - any desire I had to nail you is totally gone now

all the same · #28 08-11-2005, 05:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Neal

I'm not that violent. But I did get him back (kinda) a few weeks later. I came home late again and knew he was in bed. So instead of using the door like a normal person, my drunk ass decided to climb through his window. I didn't say anything, but was noisy enough to wake him. He screamed like a little girl until he realized it was me.

I told him that's what he got for messing with me, and felt a little better. He still has the funnier story to tell though...

BRILLIANT! "screamed like a little girl" made me laugh my butt off!

all the same · #29 08-11-2005, 05:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DrummerDeanna

That infection story is really disturbing - any desire I had to nail you is totally gone now

WHA! I knew I was taking a gamble telling that story! It's pretty gross but I had to tell it. It's too good a story to pass up! You'll come around again! You'll wanna nail me again!

By the way, ****ty about the water down the back of your head! That would be freezing! And you'd be uncomfortable for the rest of the night! What a pisser!

SuzeQuze · #30 08-11-2005, 05:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by macfanken

Yeah, the cops never got him. I think it came from a hill that overlooks the road.

That SOB! I had a teacher who had reconstructive surgery because this happened to her. A brick hit her face, she was lucky to survive. Her surgeons were geniuses because you could not tell and she was gorgeous. However, she said she didn't look anything like she did before the assault. So strange. Those kinds of things make me want to pound the perp but can't do it.

One time I found a big, giant hair in a burger at McDonalds. Fortunately for me, I had picked up the top part of the bun and looked at it before biting into it. It was so nasty. It really looked like it was there on purpose.

I have been flashed twice. Once as a teen walking in my friend's neighborhood this guy driving by in a station wagon lifted his butt in the air so I could see that he wasn't wearing any pants.

That was actually kind of funny it was so pathetic.

The other time was near my home in Duxbury, I was walking and this car behind me was going very slow. I figured they were just looking for an address. I exited that side street and was walking the main road when I heard, "Hey", I turned and the bloke was standing there pantsless! Ugh. I quickly turned back around and raced home. I heard him speed off.

Oh yeah, and here at work, someone stole my headphones and they are the kind you put in your ear.

What the hell is wrong with people???