Friends (Not the TV show)

[foxyluva]

Its nice to read about people having friendship problems. I can really say that all my 'best friends' who i went to school with have all gone there own ways and left me behind - I now know that they never really cared about me.

I have many friends - but none that I can 100% realte to, I thought I did when I was younger and naive. But I have come to realise that I am soo much more complex than all my friends, and even getting them to try and understand anything that I try and talk to them about is pointless.

For instance, a while ago, I told someone that I considered one of my closest friends that I was suffering from depression. He just said "Oh. Okay. So, anyway, do you wanna go and get something to eat?" and left it at that.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by foxyluva

Its nice to read about people having friendship problems. I can really say that all my 'best friends' who i went to school with have all gone there own ways and left me behind - I now know that they never really cared about me.

I have many friends - but none that I can 100% realte to, I thought I did when I was younger and naive. But I have come to realise that I am soo much more complex than all my friends, and even getting them to try and understand anything that I try and talk to them about is pointless.

For instance, a while ago, I told someone that I considered one of my closest friends that I was suffering from depression. He just said "Oh. Okay. So, anyway, do you wanna go and get something to eat?" and left it at that.

Many people, especially men, have no idea how to handle depression. They're often not educated about what it is and have no idea how to be supportive. Your friend probably had nothing to say because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. If you value the friendship you could give him a pamphlet or a book about depression. Or even just tell him you were hurt by his response and explain your illness and how he can be supportive. Then if he still can't be supportive you can re-evaluate whether to continue the friendship. I hope you are feeling better now.

[foxyluva]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Many people, especially men, have no idea how to handle depression. They're often not educated about what it is and have no idea how to be supportive. Your friend probably had nothing to say because he didn't want to say the wrong thing. If you value the friendship you could give him a pamphlet or a book about depression. Or even just tell him you were hurt by his response and explain your illness and how he can be supportive. Then if he still can't be supportive you can re-evaluate whether to continue the friendship. I hope you are feeling better now.

Yes, i don't think he got the gravity of the situation. Thats why I say im much more complex than most of my friends - who are all concerned with going out, partying, tricking out their cars etc. when im dealing with alot that they have never had to deal with, and I don't relate to them because of this.

I still suffer from depression - but its never constant. I've been meaning to see a therapist or a councillor about it, but i never seem to actually do it.

I think alot of my depression was caused by the medication I was on recently, called Accutane, which is an acne drug.

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by foxyluva

Yes, i don't think he got the gravity of the situation. Thats why I say im much more complex than most of my friends - who are all concerned with going out, partying, tricking out their cars etc. when im dealing with alot that they have never had to deal with, and I don't relate to them because of this.

I still suffer from depression - but its never constant. I've been meaning to see a therapist or a councillor about it, but i never seem to actually do it.

I think alot of my depression was caused by the medication I was on recently, called Accutane, which is an acne drug.

Call your doctor then and make an appointment. When you feel better you will be able to relate to your friends again.

[JazmenFlowers]

in all honesty, I really only have one "friend"...my best friend since college and we tend to go in and out of being "close" - we compliment each other, but can both be selfish bitches. very different, but very similar.

I have lots of acquaintances, but no one I'd really call a friend and it's weird for me because I've always had lots of friends. I just find I don't really have time or the energy most of the time. There are times it depresses me that I don't have a big group of friends, but most of the time I'm glad I don't.

[foxyluva]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Call your doctor then and make an appointment. When you feel better you will be able to relate to your friends again.

I doubt it. We are all very different people now. I think I need to start making new ones, and keeping my old friends as friends - but not as close as they once were.

I feel like an idiot wanting to have councilling - Apart from one or two people, I know nobody who has really done it - I guess Im a typical male in that fact

[SuzeQuze]

Originally Posted by foxyluva

I doubt it. We are all very different people now. I think I need to start making new ones, and keeping my old friends as friends - but not as close as they once were.

I feel like an idiot wanting to have councilling - Apart from one or two people, I know nobody who has really done it - I guess Im a typical male in that fact

Typical Just don't suffer needless because you don't have to.

[foxyluva]

Originally Posted by SuzeQuze

Typical Just don't suffer needless because you don't have to.

I suppose Its alot better than being unhappy

Damn medication....

[elie]

I have one girlfriend that I feel really happy that I know her. I have known her for 15 years and she 's about the only person that can make me laugh when I am sad..Other than that, the rest of my friends are ok, but she is the only one I feel like telling her everything. And my fiance/boyfriend is someone I could consider as my my best freind too.

On another note, I felt like sharing something here (I 'm posting it on this thread, even though it's not totally relevant). Has any of you ever felt drawn to a person with whom you have no particular relationship (I mean neither friendship nor a "love affair") but you feel like you can tell them everything and trust them and feel happy around them? I am asking because for the last couple of years I have been going through a very strange situation. There is a teacher from my University, with whom I used to talk about my professional agonies but after a while, it got a bit more personal. We never really became friends (I send him e-mails on birthdays, X-mas etc, but we don't call each other and we don't go out for dinner or anything). I meet him once in a while (which means once every one-two months or even less frequently), he's always happy to see me, once we spent two whole hours talking on the phone, he asks me about everything and we talk about everything. My relationship, his relationship with his wife etc. I have to make clear that he 's the total opposite of "cheap". He has never ever implied that he was interested in me romantically (or otherwise ) but my friends find it very hard to believe . They say that it has definitely crossed his mind, that it is something that it definitely crosses a 45 year old man's mind when he 's around a young woman who shows so much interest and affection to him.However, I definitely don't get any such vibe from him and I know he is very serious and respected and the way he sees me is sort or "paternal", (or a "mentor" sort of thing) even though our age difference is not that big . But that's not even the problem.
I am so happy when I 'm with him, I trust, respect and admire him (and in Hal Hartley's world this would mean that I love him ) . I wish that I could tell him all that one day, how he is so special to me (although I think he knows part of it) but I 'm afraid that I might be misunderstood. I don't want him to think I 'm in love with him, it would definitely ruin it and it would not even be my point. I don't know what it is. I have so much affection for him and I feel that I can't show it, out of fear that he thinks I 'm up to something else.

He makes me happy, and when I 'm with him, I am totally aware of who I am and what I want (if that makes sense) and the fact that I can't be as close to him as I sometimes feel the need to, makes me sad and confused.
Has any of you ever experienced something similar? Can you love someone you are not really related to in any -conventional- way? Or is it just that I 'm in love with him?

I am so sorry for the long post, I really needed to talk about it