The Writing Thread - Page 9

ButterCookie · #**121** 10-18-2010, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

Clap them out! it's supposed to be 10 syllables, all in iambic pentameter. Seems like you understand iambic fairly well though.

I was taught to hold my hand under my chin while I spoke the words, counting how many times my chin hit my fingers

It's the whole counting and reading at the same time that gets me

APerfectLie · #**122** 10-19-2010, 11:23 PM

A Ghost Amongst The Leaves

What did you want anyway?
Did you want to say you cared?
With all those unspoken words, I’m left here broken
Hopeless and shattered
And maybe these things have all been illusions
And maybe I am strangely alone
But I thought you were there
I thought someone cared
Now I wonder where this road ends
Or if it ever began
I’m lost in a sea of madness
A world of strangers
I look for your face
But all I see is emptiness
And unanswered questions in this place
I call out your name
But the screams are lost in the shadows
And the strangers tell me lies
While my heart slowly dies
Is anyone there?
Can anybody hear this?
Where are the words I need to hear?
Where is my elusive angel?
Is she hiding in the wind?
Stolen from the sky
Lost amongst the leaves
Waiting there to die
As the willows still weep in the darkness
Amongst the ghost of you and I

chelluversu · #**123** 10-21-2010, 11:31 PM

Anyone watch Brave New Voices??

nailatixela · #**124** 10-22-2010, 05:32 PM

I've seen That Girl before. I went to my first poetry slam a couple weeks ago...they are SO amazing!

chelluversu · #**125** 10-23-2010, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nailatixela

I've seen That Girl before. I went to my first poetry slam a couple weeks ago...they are SO amazing!

I would LOVE to go to one. Especially one for Brave New Voices.
I want to meet the whole Hawai'i team.

LittleCharmer · #**126** 10-23-2010, 11:59 AM

Dani, for some reason your poetry just screams at me to get my guitar and put your words to music! I really love your writing.

daniellaaarisen · #**127** 10-23-2010, 02:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LittleCharmer

Dani, for some reason your poetry just screams at me to get my guitar and put your words to music! I really love your writing.

Thank you SO MUCH! I've always wanted to try that.

chelluversu · #**128** 10-23-2010, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

Glass Messiah

I have a crown of thorns twisted in my side, its
bleeding and festering
and somehow healing me from
the inside out, wrapping
its arms around each
muscle and vein, stretching
and squeezing until
I stop. I stop
fighting back, stop asking you to
make me holy again, stop
begging you to give
me a reason to pull
this tiara out of me, wash
it with some holy water and
wear it on my head
like the messiah
I was meant to be.
I stop bathing my own
feet, kissing my own
footsteps, weeping
in my own untimely death and all
because I’m not as satisfied
as Jesus was to be
naked and forsaken.
I can’t pretend to love myself
well enough for you
to love me, too. So please
leave me on a dirt road,
make sure I’m shoeless.
Break both my legs
and say, “walk.” Break me
beyond recognition,
enjoy the clamor of
the shatter. F*ck me up
so badly that I have no
choice but to start
from the ground up.
Douse me in self-loathing,
wrap me in the ugly truths,
believe that I shouldn’t
be believed in.
Because I’ll never make myself
into anything until
I’m absolutely nothing
to you.

My God woman. I love this.

daniellaaarisen · #**129** 10-24-2010, 12:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by chelluversu

My God woman. I love this.

Thanks Michelle!

daniellaaarisen · #**130** 10-28-2010, 05:29 AM

A Kiss For a Kingdom

I can never know the art
of loving you when
I keep molding all love
into art. I bleed
on these pages until
my pulse whimpers
and stops, until my heart
will kill for each little
breath it lost when
I spilled on your lap
this red ink.

I’ll keep writing, I’ll keep carving
in bitter fool’s blood.
It keeps me alive
in my desperate hunt
to haunt you, reminds me
of all I’m willing to give
to sculpt you into
what I need you to be,
to somehow create
my own divine control.

And it all starts again
(with this same paper and pen) —
I take the kiss that you give me
and weave our new kingdom,
I take all this self-loathing
and give it your name.

*Very iffy on this one. Any comments welcome!*

LittleCharmer · #**131** 10-28-2010, 10:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

And it all starts again
(with this same paper and pen) —
I take the kiss that you give me
and weave our new kingdom,
I take all this self-loathing
and give it your name.

Looooooooooveeeeee! Especially the bold bit

chelluversu · #**132** 10-28-2010, 08:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

A Kiss For a Kingdom

I can never know the art
of loving you when
I keep molding all love
into art. I bleed
on these pages until
my pulse whimpers
and stops, until my heart
will kill for each little
breath it lost when
I spilled on your lap
this red ink.

I’ll keep writing, I’ll keep carving
in bitter fool’s blood.
It keeps me alive
in my desperate hunt
to haunt you, reminds me
of all I’m willing to give
to sculpt you into
what I need you to be,
to somehow create
my own divine control.

And it all starts again
(with this same paper and pen) —
I take the kiss that you give me
and weave our new kingdom,
I take all this self-loathing
and give it your name.

*Very iffy on this one. Any comments welcome!*

This whole thing is pretty much amazing to me,
but I love the last two lines the most.

bucklind17 · #**133** 10-28-2010, 09:09 PM

Is anyone here doing NaNoWriMo this year? I am so eager to get started, I've essentially not written for about two weeks just so that I can roll and roll when it counts.

daniellaaarisen · #**134** 10-28-2010, 11:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bucklind17

Is anyone here doing NaNoWriMo this year? I am so eager to get started, I've essentially not written for about two weeks just so that I can roll and roll when it counts.

I'm deathly afraid of ****ty writing. And since NaNoWriMo is kinda about getting 50,000 words down no matter what the quality, I'm deathly afraid of NaNoWriMo.

APerfectLie · #**135** 10-29-2010, 01:47 AM

For The Best

Step outside of your chambers
And break to pieces with the day
Why are you hiding?
What is chasing you anyway?

Up and spinning circles
Lost amongst your world
Castles built on lies
Silly little girl

Embers burning in the distance
The fire is coming close
The world is crashing down
Soon you’ll be nothing but a ghost

And this is where you are
A shadow in the dark
Swings slowing to a stop
And leaves blowing in the park

Shallow seas rush in
And the beach begins to disappear
And in a flash of light
No one will be here

And in the distance there’s a call
Not a call, but a scream
A scream that shatters the silence
With nothing left to redeem

And in an endless search for salvation
You run down haunted streets
And the demons chase you down
To where sea and city meet

Drowning in your lies
Water filling up your chest
The breathing’s getting harder
And all of this was for the best