That's So Gay - Page 6

amber · #76 03-02-2007, 03:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

Maybe. But we live in big urban areas where people have a more sophisticated and ironic reference point. Again, I am not sure about this whole idea. I suppose it is all in the delivery. I'm not too sensitive about it but I am thinking more about kids, and even on that count I don't have a great experience level or maybe even a valid POV anymore. When I hear about young homos getting beaten up and harrassed in schools, that's what makes me wonder. It isn't just normal kids making fun of each other when you are afraid that if you get caught in the hall at the wrong moment your head is getting slammed into a locker or the pavement. I wish the whole country was beyond that crap but outside of big cities it certainly isn't.

I have certainly used that phrase, but when I say it, I really mean something is totally gay. For instance, a dude with highlights and too much cologne and really OTT designer sunglasses. Or brunch. Or techno music and a disco ball in clothing store.

Or, ya know, a jizzstache.

Okay, on to a serious moment...
You're right about different areas being different, obviously. I think the fact that we live in these cities might give us (me) a false sense of the pulse of the country. I think it will spread to the middle, though, soon. I mean, because, there are gay people everywhere. Also b/c more famous people are coming out.
But as far as how it is now, you're right. "gay sensitivity" is much more important in some parts of the country than it is here. We (I) probably shouldn't forget that. Shouldn't forget that most of the entire country is behind California, and some other places, in this regard. Shouldn't forget that more "gay sensitivity" is much more needed than in my world.

Also, I always hear gay people calling other gay things "so gay".

Mainly things such as you described, with variation.

Sometimes I don't get it, though, okay, usually. I swear you gay guys are meaner to each other than I could ever be...

Which is fine. I mean, I don't get all the subtext, and why should I? I'm not gay.

It's still a bit disconcerting, though. Kind of like learning a new language...a language I would have categorized as too girly and catty if my girlfriends had ever said the same type of thing...

ragandbone · #77 03-02-2007, 04:52 AM

In grade school (the 70's) I would have described Disneyland dancers as being "so gay", as in exhibiting extreme gaiety to the point of ridiculous. I read a lot, and had parents who used archaic terms; I didn't associate it with sexual preference, was ignorant of variety in sexual preference, and would have probably still been unaware of the fear and hatred behind the sneering use of the word—the odd horror at cleancut enthusiasm, and iconic Americanism gone "wrong". After Tab Hunter, how could any strapping, beautiful all-american man be trusted?

Of course, I use that example because I later met a Disneyland dancer who let me know that he, and many of his fellow dancers were gay gay gay. He had leapt, pirouetted, and pranced about me at the clothing store we worked at, and he still had to tell me he was gay.

Why was I so dumb, er, I mean, imperceptive? My mother, when she heard me use the word, spent a lot of time telling me not to assume someone was gay (as if it should have been my business, anyway) if they had effeminate affectations. I believe it was she who told me it was an awful word to throw around, because it could hurt, it was a "bad" thing to call someone. Implicit in this, her attempt to enlighten me, was the idea that it was bad refer to someone's behavior as "gay" because it was bad to be gay.

And that's why I went on to work in a gay bar. Thanks mom!

I miss it still.
After I moved to SF, I decided to assume everyone is gay, until they tell me otherwise.

This is my long-winded anecdote-laden way of saying that the term was already loaded in the 70's, and I had reason to know better, and kids now can't feign ignorance when told their use of the term term is offensive

But, I don't think it should be a legal matter, unless a student is inciting others to hatred, or if it is an issue of slander.

skcin · #78 03-02-2007, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jannieC

But in defense of the "that's so gay" thing. When *I* say it, I am truly not referring to a homosexual. I'm saying "gay" like "silly".

I know what you mean. The problem with that is that a gay person may think "oh, so you think that I'm silly or can't be taken seriously because I'm gay."

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

I have certainly used that phrase, but when I say it, I really mean something is totally gay. For instance, a dude with highlights and too much cologne and really OTT designer sunglasses. Or brunch. Or techno music and a disco ball in clothing store.

Or, ya know, a jizzstache.

I was at an outdoor festival with Ryan once, and as we passed this kid he said "Good Lord, that boy is queer as a three dollar bill!" I almost peed my pants from laughing. Just like I did when we all realized we were eating dinner in Gayville, U.S.A. & you said "you can't swing dead cat without hitting a queer in here." Now, coming from you, it was hilarious. Coming from someone I don't know, or who I knew wasn't gay, could be very offensive & even scary.

And OMG, brunch is gay?

I had no idea.

sparky · #79 03-02-2007, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by skcin

Just like I did when we all realized we were eating dinner in Gayville, U.S.A. & you said "you can't swing a bat without hitting a queer in here."

Not to be snippy, but the phrase is "swing a dead cat." And I do remember you laughing your ass off. I was stunned by all those guys. When oh when do we get to hang again? So damned fun.

Quote:

And OMG, brunch is gay?

I had no idea.

You've got to be kidding. Really? Is the anything on earth quite as gay as Mimosas or bottomless glasses of champagne on a Sunday at noon? Especially with tons of handsome middle aged men taking their elderly mothers out to eat?

skcin · #80 03-02-2007, 01:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by sparky

Not to be snippy, but the phrase is "swing a dead cat." And I do remember you laughing your ass off. I was stunned by all those guys. When oh when do we get to hang again? So damned fun.

You've got to be kidding. Really? Is the anything on earth quite as gay as Mimosas or bottomless glasses of champagne on a Sunday at noon? Especially with tons of handsome middle aged men taking their elderly mothers out to eat?

Duly noted & edited quickly. Dead cat is hilarious, bat is frightening.

And I guess I never thought about brunch being gay. But it obviously is, now that you explain it.

Sarah · #81 03-02-2007, 01:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by amber

What?!?!?! I'm totally offended!

I'm sick of the "gay club" around here, just because I like to sleep with men, doesn't mean I'm a bad person, or lame. I have feelings and valid opinions just like everyone else.

There are straight Fleetwood Mac fans? WTF? Surely you jest.

I guess that means I should pack my bags and head over to the Culture Club forums. THAT'S SO GAY!

cliffdweller · #82 03-02-2007, 04:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sarah

Ah, go to hell. You're just as guilty, as witnessed here.

As witnessed where? By calling you out as mean-spirited? How is that the same thing as saying it's okay to call people hateful names?

Also, sparing people's feelings has nothing to do with being holier-than-thou, it has everything to do with being humane. But yeah, I know, having a conscience is hard; it's hard work to keep up with, so just keep being lazy, you know, whatever.

Sarah · #83 03-02-2007, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cliffdweller

As witnessed where? By calling you out as mean-spirited? How is that the same thing as saying it's okay to call people hateful names?

Also, sparing people's feelings has nothing to do with being holier-than-thou, it has everything to do with being humane. But yeah, I know, having a conscience is hard; it's hard work to keep up with, so just keep being lazy, you know, whatever.

I was talking about provoking. Which you did. What's the difference? You read a little bit of my text and decided that I needed to be called out as mean spirited? That isn't passing Holier than Thou judgement?

It'd be one thing if you added .02 about the topic at hand, but you came after me instead. For that, I said go to hell and I meant it. And it's sad really, I was kind of thinking that maybe I was a bit harsh, but now I see that I wasn't. Why don't you just head back over to your cliff and dwell right off it? Get off my back. Teach by example if you want to teach, not by being a smart-ass douchebag.

skcin · #84 03-02-2007, 04:39 PM

^ Let's settle down girls, no need to make this personal. And if you take a gander at my location, I'm already on the cliff dwelling, and I don't think there's room for both of us.