The Just Thought I'd Share Thread

[louielouie2000]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

.....I'm thinking blonde. Is that insane?

I think your dark hair has an incredible color and texture. You have such dark features, too. I just think you couldn't possibly look more stunning than you already do if you did a single thing to change your looks. Your long, luxurious, dark hair is your thing. Rock what you got, I say. You have this kinda retro almost earthy '70s beauty and style that I think would be ruined if you went blonde. I mean, I think you look most amazing in that second pic where your don't even have any makeup on. Most people would kill for your features, skin tone, and hair.That's just my personal opinion, though.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by louielouie2000

I think your dark hair has an incredible color and texture. You have such dark features, too. I just think you couldn't possibly look more stunning than you already do if you did a single thing to change your looks. Your long, luxurious, dark hair is your thing. Rock what you got, I say. You have this kinda retro almost earthy '70s beauty and style that I think would be ruined if you went blonde. I mean, I think you look most amazing in that second pic where your don't even have any makeup on. Most people would kill for your features, skin tone, and hair.That's just my personal opinion, though.

This is why we are married.

[ButterCookie]

I agree with Louie. Your brown hair is just perfect, I'd probably cry if you bleached it. What about a full fringe?

[Sleepless-Child]

I hesitated a looong time before posting this.
Ok, so both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this is random, and maybe a bit inappropiate, but i just reached that point in my life, where i feel like i need to talk about it. I never do. Like my mom would say, it's some kind of a "big family secret" (she obviously says that because, if someone knows, her social life would be destroyed...).
They've always been really nice to me, and there's always been a strong bound between us, but i can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to be more and more agressive, and they don't get it, cause once again, they really are good parents. But i can't watch them killing themselves in front of me, and i can't listen to them saying that this is a normal situation. I know they are unhappy, if they're drinking, and i don't know what to do about it. My sister and i are necessarily responsible for it, cause they're working so hard for us, and i know that might be one reason of the fact that they're so unhappy. Probably the main reason, actually.
I don't know what to do, and my mom is telling me that i'll never change anything. I'm so scared for their health, and for the future.

I'm really sorry to talk about it here, but i feel like The Ledge is one little place, out of the society i live in, where i won't be judged. So, that's it.

[Enchanted_Stevi]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

.....I'm thinking blonde. Is that insane?

I just LOVE your dark hair though!
I have dark hair like yours and I fried the ends of my hair by going blonde lol
Needless to say I need a TRIM WICKED BAD lol
Plus roots are THE worst when your hair is DARK

[fumidesigns]

Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen

Okay, hair time.

My hair if I just let it naturally dry... see how it's two different colors right now? I need freaking color correction so badly it's not even funny:



My hair blown out/flat ironed (and my face without makeup, ugh):




HELP!

seriously daniella don't change a thing! you're so damn pretty!

[holidayroad]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

I hesitated a looong time before posting this.
Ok, so both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this is random, and maybe a bit inappropiate, but i just reached that point in my life, where i feel like i need to talk about it. I never do. Like my mom would say, it's some kind of a "big family secret" (she obviously says that because, if someone knows, her social life would be destroyed...).
They've always been really nice to me, and there's always been a strong bound between us, but i can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to be more and more agressive, and they don't get it, cause once again, they really are good parents. But i can't watch them killing themselves in front of me, and i can't listen to them saying that this is a normal situation. I know they are unhappy, if they're drinking, and i don't know what to do about it. My sister and i are necessarily responsible for it, cause they're working so hard for us, and i know that might be one reason of the fact that they're so unhappy. Probably the main reason, actually.
I don't know what to do, and my mom is telling me that i'll never change anything. I'm so scared for their health, and for the future.

I'm really sorry to talk about it here, but i feel like The Ledge is one little place, out of the society i live in, where i won't be judged. So, that's it.

You should feel like you can put anything here. It's good to hear that your parents have been good to you. Still, like your mother said, you'll probably never change anything for them. It is all up to them whether they want to or can be different. Your words 'My sister and I are necessarily responsible for it.' shows that you are carrying way too much guilt over this. No one is responsible for what your parents do except themselves.

[mezzoforte]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

I hesitated a looong time before posting this.
Ok, so both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this is random, and maybe a bit inappropiate, but i just reached that point in my life, where i feel like i need to talk about it. I never do. Like my mom would say, it's some kind of a "big family secret" (she obviously says that because, if someone knows, her social life would be destroyed...).
They've always been really nice to me, and there's always been a strong bound between us, but i can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to be more and more agressive, and they don't get it, cause once again, they really are good parents. But i can't watch them killing themselves in front of me, and i can't listen to them saying that this is a normal situation. I know they are unhappy, if they're drinking, and i don't know what to do about it. My sister and i are necessarily responsible for it, cause they're working so hard for us, and i know that might be one reason of the fact that they're so unhappy. Probably the main reason, actually.
I don't know what to do, and my mom is telling me that i'll never change anything. I'm so scared for their health, and for the future.

I'm really sorry to talk about it here, but i feel like The Ledge is one little place, out of the society i live in, where i won't be judged. So, that's it.

I'm really glad you shared that. Those are very isolating feelings, and it's so important to get them out, especially since you aren't necessarily able to tell people you know personally. For what it's worth, I think you'd be surprised by how many people have dealt with exactly what you're describing. There's so much shame around alcoholism that a lot of it gets swept under the rug, but almost everyone I know has loved an alcoholic--you're definitely not alone.
It's so hard loving someone with substance abuse issues because there's often so much good there, so much of the person you love, until another side comes out that you can't control. I assume you're still living with them (not sure if your age), but as you get older, you'll decide how much of that you want to deal with--whether the good outweighs the bad. And unfortunately, you can't make them better unless
they're willing to make themselves better. All you can do is offer encouragement and support, and try to make healthy choicesfor yourself. It's a miserable position to be in, but try to remember that you're basically powerless over their disease--it's not your fault, nor your responsibility. You do, however, have power over your relationships and your own well-being.
I'm repeating myself, but really want to hammer this in: you did not cause their alcoholism. No child has the power to make their parent an alcoholic. But I realize that when you've been dealing with this guilt your entire life, a stranger over the Internet is not going to make you let go of that (I wish I could). I would strongly recommend looking into Al-anon/alateen. It's an AA affiliated programs that runs meetings for families and friends of alcoholics, and I know people who've gotten a lot out of it.
In the meantime, share anything you want to!

[Sleepless-Child]

Originally Posted by holidayroad

You should feel like you can put anything here. It's good to hear that your parents have been good to you. Still, like your mother said, you'll probably never change anything for them. It is all up to them whether they want to or can be different. Your words 'My sister and I are necessarily responsible for it.' shows that you are carrying way too much guilt over this. No one is responsible for what your parents do except themselves.

I know i can't do anything, but this is killing me. More than anything here, cause i'm sure it's my fault, somehow. I talked about the situation with my mother this morning, and she got really mad, cause she thought i was judging them, when really, i wasn't. I just wanted to tell her how scared and worried i was. "After all the things we've done for you and your sister, you can at least tolerate the fact that alcohol is one of those few things that we still enjoy", she said. This destroyed me, litterally. I mean, how did they get to the point where alcohol is the only thing they enjoy in their lives ?

Originally Posted by mezzoforte

I'm really glad you shared that. Those are very isolating feelings, and it's so important to get them out, especially since you aren't necessarily able to tell people you know personally. For what it's worth, I think you'd be surprised by how many people have dealt with exactly what you're describing. There's so much shame around alcoholism that a lot of it gets swept under the rug, but almost everyone I know has loved an alcoholic--you're definitely not alone.
It's so hard loving someone with substance abuse issues because there's often so much good there, so much of the person you love, until another side comes out that you can't control. I assume you're still living with them (not sure if your age), but as you get older, you'll decide how much of that you want to deal with--whether the good outweighs the bad. And unfortunately, you can't make them better unless
they're willing to make themselves better. All you can do is offer encouragement and support, and try to make healthy choicesfor yourself. It's a miserable position to be in, but try to remember that you're basically powerless over their disease--it's not your fault, nor your responsibility. You do, however, have power over your relationships and your own well-being.
I'm repeating myself, but really want to hammer this in: you did not cause their alcoholism. No child has the power to make their parent an alcoholic. But I realize that when you've been dealing with this guilt your entire life, a stranger over the Internet is not going to make you let go of that (I wish I could). I would strongly recommend looking into Al-anon/alateen. It's an AA affiliated programs that runs meetings for families and friends of alcoholics, and I know people who've gotten a lot out of it.
In the meantime, share anything you want to!

Well, this is exactly what it's all about. I know i just can change myself, not them. I need to be more tolerant, but sometimes, it's really really hard.
This is all about growing up, i believe. I really hope that i will learn to handle this. I'm 18, so i'm not living with my parents anymore, but still, everytime i'm back home, i feel the same way : ashamed, sad, and lonely. I just don't want to come back anymore, but i can't do that, cause i feel that they will be in an even worse situation if the person they did all those things for isn't even thankful (and that's actually what my mom said to me this morning).
I need to find a balance : i need to stay close to them, to support them, and, on the other hand, to live my life own and stop caring so much for my parents, right ?
Oh, and, for those programs, we don't have those specific ones in France, though there probably are some kind of meetings for people who live this situation. I just don't feel ready yet, it's just the first time i'm talking about it, and it's on the internet, so it doesn't feel that real and scary. What's more my parents are good to me : usually, people who are going to these meetings have worse issues to deal with.


Thank you for answering, i'm already feeling a bit better .

[SapphireSister]

Here is my future hair style but the blond will be lighter and more platinum, not so gold and all dark underneath. I used to change my hair all the time but it's been the same (long and dark) for the last 3 years and I majorly need a change. I have to wait till September though to do it because I'm getting it done at an expensive salon here in L.A. and it's going to take me that long to save up. It's going to be a major process - chemically straighten, color, cut/style.

[CreepingDeath]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

I hesitated a looong time before posting this.
Ok, so both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this is random, and maybe a bit inappropiate, but i just reached that point in my life, where i feel like i need to talk about it. I never do. Like my mom would say, it's some kind of a "big family secret" (she obviously says that because, if someone knows, her social life would be destroyed...).
They've always been really nice to me, and there's always been a strong bound between us, but i can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to be more and more agressive, and they don't get it, cause once again, they really are good parents. But i can't watch them killing themselves in front of me, and i can't listen to them saying that this is a normal situation. I know they are unhappy, if they're drinking, and i don't know what to do about it. My sister and i are necessarily responsible for it, cause they're working so hard for us, and i know that might be one reason of the fact that they're so unhappy. Probably the main reason, actually.
I don't know what to do, and my mom is telling me that i'll never change anything. I'm so scared for their health, and for the future.

I'm really sorry to talk about it here, but i feel like The Ledge is one little place, out of the society i live in, where i won't be judged. So, that's it.

I've learned that the Ledge is a pretty safe place to share "dark" secrets. I come from a long line of addicts. Three of my grandparents were alcoholics and one was addicted to prescription medication. I'm struggling right now with painkillers. I'm not the best one for advice, but know you can talk/PM me anytime.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by ButterCookie

I agree with Louie. Your brown hair is just perfect, I'd probably cry if you bleached it. What about a full fringe?

I've thought about this.... about doing the full bangs thing. So many choices! GAH

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by Sleepless-Child

I hesitated a looong time before posting this.
Ok, so both of my parents are alcoholics. I know this is random, and maybe a bit inappropiate, but i just reached that point in my life, where i feel like i need to talk about it. I never do. Like my mom would say, it's some kind of a "big family secret" (she obviously says that because, if someone knows, her social life would be destroyed...).
They've always been really nice to me, and there's always been a strong bound between us, but i can't handle it anymore. I'm starting to be more and more agressive, and they don't get it, cause once again, they really are good parents. But i can't watch them killing themselves in front of me, and i can't listen to them saying that this is a normal situation. I know they are unhappy, if they're drinking, and i don't know what to do about it. My sister and i are necessarily responsible for it, cause they're working so hard for us, and i know that might be one reason of the fact that they're so unhappy. Probably the main reason, actually.
I don't know what to do, and my mom is telling me that i'll never change anything. I'm so scared for their health, and for the future.

I'm really sorry to talk about it here, but i feel like The Ledge is one little place, out of the society i live in, where i won't be judged. So, that's it.

My dad is an alcoholic. If you want to talk about this privately, feel free to PM me.

[daniellaaarisen]

Originally Posted by SapphireSister

Here is my future hair style but the blond will be lighter and more platinum, not so gold and all dark underneath. I used to change my hair all the time but it's been the same (long and dark) for the last 3 years and I majorly need a change. I have to wait till September though to do it because I'm getting it done at an expensive salon here in L.A. and it's going to take me that long to save up. It's going to be a major process - chemically straighten, color, cut/style.

Lindsay this is going to be CRAZY! I can't even picture you without your trademark dark hair. So ballsy, you're making me want to do something crazy...

[cristochango]

So today is Good Friday. I have to Fast.
I usually eat 4,000 Calories a day.
This isn't going to end well