Dreams, My Version

[Meowi]

Hi,
For Yr. 8 poetry, one of our tasks was to get a song - and strip it of its words. Next, we had to think of our own - to the same melody. This is my poem/song that I did, based on dreams. I hope you like it - I did Seven Wonders and The Chain, but they are not finished. Enjoy!

Rhythm and Melody: Dreams
My Song: The Post Breakup

When I was a young boy,
I knew the reason
And now you ask me for it
You used to hound me, follow me through the hall
But I can still hear your voice, with the wind and snow
Like when the birds fly up to cloud,
And the way the crows call it, something strange
And now you're gone
But you're still here
In my mind

So this now what has come to mind,
Ghostly, moonlit comes back to haunt me
And now you're their in vision, blue grit fascinating
Talking like a wisp of smoke, blue smoke

You follow me down the hall
Through eyes of glass
The call of you makes me scared

You know you're wrong,
Crawling like a spider
Don’t you feel menacing
In your ghostly state
Like the pine tree burns down
With a ghastly lick of a flame
And now its ash
And now its gone
Ohh, now its gone
Ohh, now its Ash

So this now what has come to mind,
Ghostly, moonlit comes back to haunt me
And now you're their in vision, blue grit fascinating
Talking like a wisp of smoke, blue smoke

So this now what has come to mind,
Ghostly, moonlit comes back to haunt me
And now you're their in vision, blue grit fascinating
Talking like a wisp of smoke, blue smoke

You will go x3

[Meowi]

So what did you guys think?

[nailatixela]

I like it! But I don't like the idea of trying to read it in my head to the tune of Dreams. I know that's what you had to do, but I think that's a silly idea because it might limit what you could do with the writing...and makes me think of another song the entire time I'm trying to read yours.

[ragrsrocalot]

Tricky assignment, but very interesting also.