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SEPTEMBER 17, 2012
Forehead of the Week: Lindsey Buckingham
Totally True Confession: When I was too young to account for the lustful stirrings in my juvenile loins, I thought Lindsey Buckingham was a really sexy guy.
I didn’t know WHY I liked looking at him. In truth, he kind of scared me a little. His voice was bothersome, and the songs I knew were gloomy and troubling, but for whatever reason, the young Lindsey Buckingham, like the young David Bowie, just did it for me. Maybe I was into real skinny, moody looking dudes with prominent bulges at one point. Who knows.
Anyway, my good friend Anna Dynamite and I were talking about something or other recently, and Lindsey Buckingham came up in conversation, like he does. Anna presented the music video for “Holiday Road”, which is a song I have some familiarity with. “This is the saddest video of all time,” said Anna.
“The saddest part is that Clark is going to forget the chainsaw to cut down that giant Christmas tree,” said I, once again displaying my famously accurate memory of films.
“No,” said Anna. “The saddest part is when he forgets to untie the dog from that bumper.”
“Or when his wife stops shaving,” I replied. “Lindsey Buckingham scares the **** out of me. Always has.”
“I have a crush on him. He was wearing guyliner before anyone else. Hipster!”
And then Anna displayed a picture of Buckingham as he appears today, approximately 25 years after the last picture I saw of him was taken, and I was floored.
[good looking pic of LB from SYW era]
“Holy ****, look at that fu*king forehead,” I said. “He’s so intense and stare-y, like he has never had a lighthearted moment.”
Anna: “FACT. Lindsey Buckingham is a No Fun Zone.”
BIOU: “FACT. Lindsey Buckingham gives himself papercuts on purpose.”
Anna: “FACT. Lindsey Buckingham has never smiled. Ever.”
BIOU: “FACT. Lindsey Buckingham had a good day once. He went home and slammed his testicles in a drawer until the happy memories faded.”
As I come to the end of this post, I’m starting to realize that these FACT MARATHONS do not reflect well on Anna and me as members of the global human community or whatever, but that’s okay, because it’s a little known FACT that Anna and I are horrible people and that’s why hordes of classic rock dudes are lining up to beat the **** out of us.
Congratulations, Lindsey, you’re the forehead of the week. Go out there and punish yourself in whatever way seems best to you.
9:56AM | URL:
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