[Nikolaj]

TrueFaith originally wrote:
I'm sorry, but gay people are just as cruel to other gays as homophobes are--gays kill each other with AIDS, gays use each other sexually, gays glamourize a lifestyle of self-destruction and drugs, gays establish unrealistic beauty standards, gays demand total subservience to the Gay Political Agenda, gays ostracize those who are different or unattractive or (among gay men) too feminine.
I'm sure much of this comes from an internalized, learned homophobia and persistent low self-esteem, but to pretend "It Gets Better" doesn't deal with the problem that when gay people survive the pain of adolescence and (often) small-town ignorance, they rarely find in the gay community or urban enclaves a protective, tolerant embrace that fosters kindness to each other and provides the tools to deal with a homophobic culture that exists outside of "small-town" American and is, in fact, PRODUCED in our cultural centers (from Harvard to NYC to Hollywood to DC).
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I have to say that it was brave of TrueFaith to tell it like it is and to share unpopular truths. One part I disagree with is that 'gays glamourize a lifestyle of self-destruction and drugs' any more so than the straight club partiers do. The rest I found quite spot on.
What is it with the cruelty thing, anyway, that many gays have towards other gays beyond the two points TrueFaith mentioned- 'learned homophobia' and 'persisistent low self-esteem?'
It is so unenlightened, and catty behavior sure can keep progress a ways off. In the 60s, civil rights groups and women's rights advocates both worked at their separate causes, with neither group tearing it's own members apart, they had work to do, got it done, and look at the progress both groups made. Both can be used as examples to illustrate how far gay rights haven't come, comparatively, and how divided some gays still remain against other gays. TrueFaith said it better.
Perhaps unrelated- but does else anyone think Kathy Griffin (who is funny) crosses a line between 'appealing' to gays and 'pandering' to gays, and with a slightly hypocritical slant?
In season 1 or 2 of her show, she rolled her eyes and made a revealing comment at the thought of a homosexual man perhaps being "religious", like it was an impossibility. Nobody caught it. But she was perpetuating a really unfortunate opinion that gay men can't have a relationship with God because of the very fact that they are gay, which is an incredibly bigoted thing to imply.
Her use of "My gays" --is that not pandering? Yet, so many gay men love that.
I have a friend who for years now has followed her to all of her many live performances, city by city, throughout the US. She writes new material constantly, from what he tells me, and she's a funny 50-something lady for sure, but I think she exploits her gay audience and really has some of the same cruel attitudes towards gays as homophobes do, but covers it up with humor that appeals to gays, even though sometimes she shows her true feelings about homosexuality, which seem unevolved.
Oh well. Not the point I wanted to make. I think TrueFaith brought up a lot of important issues in why he hates the 'It Gets Better' guy. I still hope the program helps some who need assurance, but though I support it more than not, it does seem to be a shallow grab for media attention more so than really helpful, or accurate, for reasons TrueFaith stated well.