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Originally Posted by Kena
The fact that you are able to identify your feelings and have such insight into your parents and your past is going to help you more than you know. I can't tell you how many people I talk/work with who lack this ability. It doesn't mean that things are going to be easy though. I don't know you except from your posts but I am always touched by your ability to articulate your feelings. You seem to be a wise ol' owl...an old soul.
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Thank you for saying this; it means a lot to me. I feel like I grew up really quickly and that's why I'm more mature... but it has it's negatives, too. I'm glad I come off that way to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kena
I hope you work through being petrified of being a parent...especially if you want to be one. I should have been petrified and still to this day don't know why I'm not. I screwed up A LOT but the one thing I feel that I'm doing right is raising my children. I didn't know how to be a mother but I learned and continue to learn.
One thing that has really been a struggle for me is a direct result of my mothers actions. Ya see, my mom always chose a man over her children. The woman has been married 10 times. She left me and my sister with our dads and moved far away and didn't see us for years. She started a new life and had new babies. She did this several times. She loves being in love or lust or whatever. How has that screwed me up? Well, I'm scared to death to fall for someone and possibly lose focus on my children and repeat history. That's why I'm single. That's also why I'm still in therapy. That's also why I'm working on a degree in counseling! Will my children need therapy? Yeah probably but guess what? They will have their very own live in therapist! ME! And I will drive them crazzzzyyy!
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This reminds me of something that I feel needs to be addressed in this thread-- parents can also influenced who we are
not. If you grow up hating a certain characteristic or tendency of one of your parents, that awareness will probably translate to how you act; you'll avoid adapting that quality like it's a plague. I think that your awareness of what men did to your mother will keep you from changing your own priorities. It seems like a healthy fear to have to me.
