Quote:
Originally Posted by Lola
I've given up trying to explain my feeling to friends, family and coworkers. My sig other is about the only person on earth besides people here that even remotely understand. Layers and layers of emotion. There's no succinct way to explain it. How can people relate when they haven't followed the band and the solo projects for decades. I fear everything that's gone on with the firing, lying, LB health issue etc, etc has permanently altered my relationship with the music. This is the first time in my life I've wished I could be one of those casual fans who hear a song, sing along and breeze on to the next song.
I read here regularly. There are so many times I want to comment but I don't have the energy.....it's like my brain is working but I can't will my body to do the work. I don't know. Maybe I'll feel differently in a few years but I doubt it. Someone will die or release a new album or tour or whatever and it will start up again for me. Sounds like crazy talk at their age (albums/tours) but anything can happen as we've seen.
What the hell do I do with all the stuff I've accumulated over the years?? I can't even contemplate it so I do nothing. I always took pride in MY band being one of the very few classic bands that still has its original lineup (original as in Rumours 5 is what most people think of as original)--that's blown to bits now.
I can't even discuss Stevie--she was always my favorite member but.........The worst part is I'm not a sycophant. No matter how much I love someones music I can still be objective about the people playing the music. I know they're flawed people as we all are. I've always accepted the drama as part of FM. I've never propped any of them up as perfect people cause they're not and I never expected them to be.
From the very beginning I never wanted to be team Stevie or team Lindsey. I want to be team FM.
Just sharing my feelings here. I'm sure some can relate while others may disagree--that's okay. Each fan has such an individual relationship to the band and the music. That's another thing that upsets me. The uniqueness of that has been damaged.
Sorry for the gloom and thanks for letting me post my inner Eeyore.
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I feel you. Deeply.
I’ll share this. I’m not comfortable with it yet, but I know I’m supposed to talk about it more. It’s taken me 25 years to say this, blocked out of my memory...
I was abused as a child. That was really difficult to write. I couldn’t even begin to tell you what it was like growing up as a teenager as a result.
The one and only thing that I could count on every day was the comfort of this band. Specifically, the pain and beauty that Lindsey was able to communicate through his music. They all helped me get through that period of my life and I’ve never felt the same about anything else in my life. I loved this band. I might not be here if I didn’t have them back then.
This situation over the past year has been a cause of my walls coming down... I stopped being able to cope. I didn’t even know that it was there.
In some ways, I’m grateful for the situation as it’s allowed for me to get help. However, I can’t help feel like something in the universe is irreverably broken and forever changed. I miss them. They won’t get any more of my money. But they still will get some of my love for what they meant to me.
Lindsey - on the other hand - will be a man that I will support until my last breath. Some days, I wish that I could tell him how much he means to me...