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I broke my wrists and broke my spine and
the entire time that I lay in that bed
I wondered how I’d bend—
I wondered if I could melt the lines
off the clock, or the ones
on my face that I saw
in a familiar nightmare. I wondered
if I could still write with my tongue
if my mouth became dry and my
hands became numb. I wondered
if I ever had anything worth writing about
at all. Or if
the fire in my veins and in-
between my legs would surpass the
time I don’t really have, if
the moments of truth
that I keep in my breast pocket
were all that true at all. I wondered
if love beat tirelessly when
the gentle beat of the world was gone, if
the seconds that turned into hours that turned into
days were really as
wasted
as I once thought. I wondered
if I’ll miss what it feels like
to rock a baby to sleep while I am
falling asleep in the arms of my own baby, if
the systematic sway of the numbers
and figures that carry our world
would carry me
to the world beyond this. I wondered
if this world is so great after all,
if beauty can breathe in its own precious life,
if I can outlive all of these moments
of wondering where to begin.
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This is beautiful, I can't even believe you don't like it ! You really have a gift, but I think you already know that, right?
Makes me want to write. Thank you.