I don't know you but you sound incredibly stressed. Maybe for now you should just take small steps like go to a doctor and get a physical. Make sure your not suffering from some electrolyte problems or vitamin deficiencies. Make sure your heart rate is good, your blood pressure is good, and so on. Maybe from there things will settle a bit. Sasja also gave you other great suggestions when after you make sure you are physically okay. Good luck to you. I hope things get better for you.
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