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Old 04-05-2019, 01:01 PM
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David David is offline
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Classic Rolling-Stone-critics-style polemic—I could plotz. True and funny:
  • Note that, besides the undeniable Bowie and cuddly Elton John, the hall has been very wary of the effete and glam side of rock — no Todd Rundgren, no Dolls, no Mott, no Roxy Music (until this year), no Pet Shop Boys, no Marc Bolan, and stretching all the way to the Smiths and Joy Division — while just about every hirsute assemblage of spandexed wankers from that era and every one since have been ushered right in.
  • This preposterous aggregation looked and sounded awful from the beginning, their music a pastiche of pastiches of things no one in the band were inclined to understand, all of it culminating in “We Will Rock You.” Queen haters love to say the song is appropriate for a Nuremburg rally, but you can also sort of see Leni Riefenstahl giving it a listen, cocking her head and saying, “Nein. A little too much.”
  • [Billy Joel is] really just another Lionel Richie. Joel dabbles in rock the way he dabbles in R&B or doo-wop; it’s just another temporary stance. He has nothing to say, and “We Didn’t Start the Fire” could be the stupidest rock song of all time.
  • This dreary band has been reflexively treated with respect for half a century. Why? A marginal percentage of its recorded work is listenable; even the good-sounding songs — like, say, “Riders on the Storm” — are ruined when you realize what you’re singing along to. (“Like a dog without a bone / An actor out on loan.”)
  • A lot of people used to think these guys were tools: Rolling Stone had a long-running feud with the band; Frey, who died in 2016, seemed to have no soul; and Henley, let’s face it, is a screechy hypocrite. And too many of even their nice-sounding songs seem to turn on evil women. But look at the Eagles for what they were — a rock corporation — and you see that Henley and Frey were highly competent co-CEOs. They kept product in the pipeline, maintained quality, invested where they needed to (like bringing Joe Walsh onboard). In a way, they deserve a J.D. Power Award or something rather than a hall of fame induction.
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