[Macfan4life]

Originally Posted by michelej1

I feel a strange way, like I miss her in the world, even though she wasn't part of my world. It's not like I could see or talk to her. She's not even like other celebrities that I see regularly in magazines or on tv. If Anderson Cooper died, I watch him every night, so it would make sense that I miss him. But I haven't seen Chris in years. And when she was out of the band, all of us went years without seeing or hearing anything new from her. But now, it's like I can feel her not being there. And thinking that the 5 of them can never be together again or that Chris will never know how the Songbird collection did . . . it's bonkers and kind of hopeless.

Did she really get sick suddenly? Was she cognizant long enough to realize that Everywhere was everywhere. Because it feels like she's no longer on earth, when I hear her songs I just tear up, now.

The funny thing is, with people I actually knew in my life, I don't feel this way. My dad died in 2005 and I still talk to him in my head and sometimes out loud. I still feel that he's . . . somewhere. But I can see Christine on video or hear her any time I want to. Yet, she's not there. And it seems unnatural. I'm not thinking she was 79 and lived a long time and "we all knew it was coming."

With a lot of these celebrities, you admire their work and think of it fondly, but you aren't really "sad" when they die. It's the course of life. But with her, my brain is reacting like the universe was interrupted, somehow.

Beautifully written