Spiders horrify me to a degree that's almost absurd.
A few years back my boyfriend called me at work to tell me that a huge spider had crawled down the wall and disappeared behind our bed. When I freaked out and asked him why he let it get away, he told me that not only was it the size of a silver dollar (wolf spider, I presume) but that it was smoking a cigarette and asked him if he'd seen me around, and that he was looking for me.
That night I tore the bedroom apart looking for that spider, but never found it.
Thankfully I've moved since then.