Quote:
Originally Posted by daniellaaarisen
I think it's awesome that we're all having this conversation -- with each other but, most importantly, with ourselves. I'm paranoid about posting too much private information on the internet but I may add to my post a little more later.... since I'm still a "kid" to some extent, it still feels like I'm betraying my parents when I speak about their faults.
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Guess what? It feels that way in your (
my) 40's, too. You're all young and brave. I typed a ton the other night then woke the next day to edit it down to a couple of sentences that had nothing to do with my parents. College years and until about age 25 are tough years; everything that goes wrong, there
is a way to trace it back to your parents. It's almost necessary.
Letting it all out, here, and keeping it out is part of the process and I think it's good. I couldn't let myself keep the words here the next morning.
Not as good. But, a right decision, in my case.
Just wait til they're in their 70s and 80, like my mom and dad are.
You become
their parents, and you want to do better than they did with you. It's a whole new level of discomfort! Yet, there is also pleasure in that you get to show them the best of who you evolved into, which really is your choice, who you are, and who you become. Getting to pleasantly surprise them becomes a reward, somehow.
Regardless of any emotional scars I had or still may have, the truth is always that I want my parents to survive, and I want to help them.
I bet most of you in this thread will feel the same way. Facing losing them is a very harsh reality.
To those who have already lost a parent, at a young age, I am sorry. Friends and loved ones and spouses may change and likely will change over the years we're here, but what doesn't change is who your mother and father were, for all the good and bad that entails.
It is the one thing that just
is. Even after they are long gone, you always will be or will have been
their child until your death, even after your death! It is totally a trip when you consider it.
Your mother, always, is the only person on Earth who really got you here. Nothing against fathers, (or hospital staffs!) - but unless our mothers went through with our births, we wouldn't exist to suffer or discuss. Obviously
