What do you think of the occasional propensity of some critics to attack the physical shortcomings & physiognomy of actors & actresses?
John Simon, one of the greatest critics of the modern era, is the emperor of personal insults, some say. Simon's detractors say he channels Noel Coward telling Mrs. Worthington what he really thought of her would-be-actress daughter.
Herewith some of Simon's physical descriptions of actresses (even those whose ability he admired):
Diana Rigg "has a way of protruding her face like a Ping-Pong paddle, while grinning vapidly or bursting into a whinnying laugh."
Angela Lansbury lets "her eyes go either bulgily whirling . . . or so narrowly slitty that you couldn't slip a calling card through their openings."
Maggie Smith looks "like an upstart rooster."
On Liza Minnelli: "The nose always en route to becoming a trunk, blubber lips unable to resist the pull of gravity, & a chin trying its damnedest to withdraw into the neck."
On Shelley Duvall: "The worst & most homeliest thing to hit the screens since Liza Minnelli."
On Barbra Streisand: "A cross between an aardvark & an albino rat surmounted by a platinum-coated horse bun. ... Her acting consists entirely of fishily thrusting out her lips, sounding like a cabbie bellyaching at breakneck speed, & throwing her weight around."
Walter Matthau looked "like a half-melted rubber bulldog."
On Josh Mostel: "Young Mr. Mostel, who manages the difficult feat of reaching the grotesque while totally bypassing the funny, has not inherited any of the Mostel from his father, only the Zero."
