Hey Ethan,
I just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for your loss. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I haven't personally lost a pet since I was about 10 years old, so I really don't remember it that well.
I went to the Rainbow Bridge site that someone posted. While reading some of the stories that pet owners have posted, I started to think of my parents' 12 year-old beagle who recently underwent surgery/chemo/radiation for colon cancer. She's doing very well now, considering. But she's already lost some of her spark - she no longer jumps up in my mom's lap to watch TV with her late at night, and she doesn't sleep in the bed with my parents anymore. She's getting a little better about it now that she's on medicine for arthritis -- getting back to her old self again somewhat. Anyway, so I sit here and think about how, in a ll honesty, 12 years is a long time for a dog to live -- even without cancer. And I know it's just a matter of time before shes passes. And thinking about that is unbearable to me. I know that I'll be a total wreck when she goes, and I haven't actually lived with her in 10 years. I can't imagine how my parents will react (they don't have grandkids, so this is very much their grandchild). And then I look at my 2-year old beagle and how much she misses me when I'm at work and how excited she gets when she sees me walk in the door. And I know that I still have a long time left with her -- but then I think back to my parents' dog and I get a knot in my stomach all over again thinking about the inevitable, and I get physically ill almost to the point of vomiting.
I'm sorry for rambling. I came here to tell you I'm thinking of you and Baby and I go off on this whole tangent about my parents' dog. It just feels good to type it all out to someone, because honestly, there's not a whole lot of people a 28 year-old guy can talk to about his feelings over a dog.
I'd recommend visiting that Rainbow Bridge site for consolement and advice if you need it. But reading the stories that people have posted about their pets that have departed kills me.
Anyway, best of luck to you through this tough time. I'd like to say that it'll get easier, but I honestly don't know. I think once it happens to me, it's going to take a very long time to feel back to normal. Hopefully you have a good support system helping you out.
Take care,
Brad
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