[lieueitak]

Originally Posted by carol7lynn

Excuses are meant to justify the unjustifiable. If you can't support a kid you shouldn't have them and there is no excuse for "accidental" pregnancies.

I don't understand how an unplanned pregnancy is "unjustifiable." I don't understand how anyone could believe that Carol Ann's child would be better off being raised by her. Her book may not be completely accurate, but I think we all know what kind of environment she would have exposed her child to, had she raised her: drugs, possible domestic violence, etc. It seems like Carol could barely take care of herself in any real way. How could anyone believe that child would be better off in that situation?

Abstinence does work, and so does birth control. But you have to take responsibility for your body and educate yourself on how to effectively use it; especially if you can not afford to have a child.

How is putting your child up for adoption not a form of taking responsibility? Abstinence works, sure, but it's all dependent on both parties respecting that boundary. Sometimes, they willingly don't (and naturally, with rape, someone has crossed that line). Birth control also works, but it's not 100%. And it's not always a lack of education that makes it fail. Efficacy is lessened when mixed with certain medicines (not always warned about on labels or by doctors). Or if you don't take it at the right time, that can lessen the efficacy. In theory, Carol Ann could have taken all the precautions, and she still might have ended up pregnant.

If you want to fault her for not doing that, then fine. But "mistakes" happened, and she ended up pregnant. There's no need to belabor that point. It's what she did after finding out that she was pregnant that matters. She could have had an abortion, absolutely. She could have raised the child on her own. Or she could, perhaps most responsibly, placed the child up for adoption so that the baby would be raised in love and in a safe environment.

But she had already left home, was shacking up with a man she hardly new (before moving in with him) and was un-apologetically engaging in felonious activities just to pay the rent and pay for her cigarettes.

Ah, yes, then we should definitely fault Carol for placing the little girl up for adoption. In a better world, Carol Ann would have realized that the things she was doing weren't great. She would have shaped up and gotten her life together, raised her daughter on her own, and never met Lindsey Buckingham -- thus sparing us her book. There are women who do get their lives together, and that's admirable. But Carol didn't and so, adoption was the best option. Sometimes responsibility is about knowing when you cannot do something (hence, I will never perform brain surgery). Sometimes, being responsible is knowing that you're in over your head and asking for help.

Again, it's no wonder Stevie did not treat her like a "sister of the moon." Stevie had nothing to fear from this woman as she, like so many of her kind, blame everyone but themselves for what happens to them.

And yet, isn't that one of the main criticisms people make about Stevie? How many people on this board have said that Stevie doesn't really take responsibility for her drug addictions? I make that point, not because I agree with that criticism, but because no one in this band is perfect. As fans, we are able to write off some of their character flaws because we love their music and the people they've become.

And I'm not surprised Carol Ann has written the book with a "woe is me" take on it. The majority of things we've heard about Carol Ann previously has been... well, negative, lol. After everything that's been said about her, of course, she'd want to say how innocent she was and such.

Besides -- the main draw of an autobiography/insider's tale is seeing his/her account of events and how he/she sees him/herself. Even in her "lies," we're learning a lot about who Carol Ann is and how she sees herself. The same can be said for Mick Fleetwood's book, as well as any interview Lindsey, Stevie, John, and Christine have ever given. Fleetwood Mac's dynamics are complicated, to say the least. And I think, because of drugs and/or every psychological coping mechanism known to man, we'll never know exactly what happened at any given moment within the band.

Stevie didn't give up her unwanted babies up for adoption she just had abortions instead

My thoughts exactly.