Random Thoughts/Express Yourself...Part II
 

Well I was too lazy to search for the original random/express thread - so I'm starting a part II - the other was quite long anyway.

I was thinking that for moments when I'm feeling like I am tonight I should just start a blog, you know - one that doesn't involve bears with hair, but alas I'm also too lazy to do that right now.

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If I hear that one more friend of mine is getting married - I may have to throw myself off a bridge.

I'm not typically one to be down about being single or anything, in fact I am quite happy and content right now, but sometimes I guess being single does get a bit old.

Right now I have more somewhere around 10 or more friends (past and present) who either recently got married, are getting married really soon - or are having babies with their happy spouses.

Ugh - I'm becoming the old spinster of the group! I also had the most disturbing dream the other night - I actually gave birth - to a baby girl - it was the weirdest dream, but of course it's got me thinking. Thinking about what I lack in my life - or at least what society and Happy Homelife Magazine or whatever tell me I'm missing in my life.


Still - I am not at a point where I will settle just to not be single - if I were that desperate I wouldn't be single at this point. That's the trouble - all of the people I've met here in Rochester do NOTHING for me - nothing. It's depressing - I feel like I'm dead inside sometimes - at least when it comes to human affection.

The last intense crush I had on someone? That possibly gay (but turned out not to be gay) guy in DC. That was a year ago!!

Okay - I'll stop now...

Sorry for those of you who actually wasted time reading my pathetic little rant :p I feel better now...

I wish people would make a more concerted effort to say funny things, instead of always just talking.
Also, I wish my throat and ears were not sick, it makes me very crabby. Also, I wish that I never, ever, ran out of brie. And that it was good for you, and not fattening.

Three random strangers smiled at me and said "hi" today... just walking down the street. Normally, people around here are assholes.

Your rant is not pathetic at all. I hear you loud and clear. In fact, tonight my best friend told me that she has decided to move in with her boyfriend of three years -- outside of D.C. She applied for Grad school at both Rutgers and George Washington University when she found out he was to be transferred from the IRS branch in Philadelphia to DC. I called her tonight to see if she wanted to go out. What is she doing and where is she? She and Michael (her boyfriend) are moving his stuff into his place down there in Maryland. She's moving there in August and will be attending GWU.

PS - she's younger than me (not by much, but still).

I'm currently letting MORE bleach soak into my scalp. Well, at least the bottom part of it. Woohoo. I hope it ends up white, as I'm gonna put pink over it, and I want it to be screaming pink. Like, I want to look like a flamingo. If it doesn't break off, you'll get more pic whoring from me. Woot.

Also? I think I need to quit my job. No one ever tells me when I have to work, and it's pissing me off. I need money, damnit! -___-

Not a pathetic rant at all. I have a number of women friends over 30 who are single. Number one, their married friends browbeat them and harrass them about being single and childless. So do their families. Then the married moms ignore them. The families tend to slow down the harrassment at about 35 in my estimation. It's a real problem. Many friendships are lost over this.

Hope you get none of this BS from your friends or family. Give yourself a break ! Our lives take the turns they are supposed to. You'll get what you need. You have plenty of time. :nod: :wavey:

Lol
 

There are so many people up here who have evacuated from the south. And they all drive 70 mph all the time. All the hotels in the three/four major northern cities have been booked up, they're sending people to Texas now. It is the definition of nuts in a small city like this.

If this thing does hit here, I'm not looking forward to being stuck in a house without power with my dad for the next week. :eek:

I'm glad someone started a part 2. Let's see. I'm writing this from my homeland of Brasil (I only spell it that way when I'm here, out of respect. They do not spell it with the z). I had a hard time getting on the internet for a few days and we've been really busy. We flew out of LA at 4am on Wednesday, had two plane changes (one in Houston and one in Sao Paulo) and finally got here at 12am Thursday. Then, the London bombings. I'm sorry for everybody in London. That was just horrible. :distress: My mom and I are visiting my dad, maybe for the last time. He's not doing well and so we're just taking it day by day. I had so much guilt because I had mixed emotions about coming at all. It's a long story, but I don't really know my dad well. He took off when I was little and I've seen him a little off and on over the years, but he made it pretty clear that he didn't really want a kid. We're here for the next 2 weeks and I love it here, but I wish the circumstances weren't this. Thank gawd I still have access to some sanity-saving things, like this board. I don't have time to look at all the threads because it's 7:40am here and we're getting ready to leave to go to breakfast and see my dad. Everytime I come here, I want to stay. Maybe this time I will. I don't know. Ok, that's enough for now. :nod:

I've slept nine hours in three days and I work in 15 minutes. It's 4AM

Holy hell. You need to get some rest, Darrelle.

I've been sleeping 10+ hours a night. :]

hey! I was wondering where you were the past few days. About your dad, don't feel guilty.. maybe I don't know how to say it, but I can imagine what you're feeling very well. Just don't be so hard on yourself, you're there and that's something.
Brasil? wow :cool:

I hope your hair doesn't fall out before your 18. :eek: I guess wearing a different wig everyday would be kick ass, though.



My random thoughts:

-I need a roommate. Anyone wanna move to WV? It's not that bad. Please?

-I have a mad crush. I feel 10. :o

-Going to see Fantastic Four tonight. Should be fun times.

-Can you be very happy and very depressed at the same time?

Sure - especially if you've a mad crush - that isn't requited - or you don't know if it is lol....

Last summer I had such a great time pining over NPR possibly gay guy - but at the same time I was a bit depressed because I didn't think anything would come of it.

Last night for me was an example of being happy and depressed at the same time - I AM happy with my job, life etc - I have everything I could ask for - yet I was also depressed at the thought of dying alone :p

Luckily it's been quite the opposite - people are always saying, "oh you're so lucky that you're not married and have no kids to hold you down" etc.

My family apparently sees my life as exciting - being that I picked up and moved across the country knowing no one - and I am doing well :o

My mom is always saying, "When I was your age I was married and had a 5 year old - you're so lucky you don't have that..." So at least I feel supported in my single-dom.

A good friend of mine from high school is married with a kid - and is expecting another and she's always saying things like, "You're doing what I wanted to do..." "everyone's life is exciting but mine" etc....

I guess the grass really is greener on the other side.

That said I'm back to being content and happy this morning - I think I just needed a good night's sleep.