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HomerMcvie 04-19-2011 09:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GypsySorcerer (Post 967652)
See, I can't bring myself to have a make-out date. I feel at my age (30) there is no territory between a little kissing and sex.... a few dates, and then bam: sex. I just can't see myself giving a guy a BJ, and then saying, "Okay! Well, that's it! Call me tomorrow!" :shurg: But I kind of miss the "anticipation" and intrigue of taking things in "steps." I hate dating sometimes.

To be honest, I have no problem getting laid, but I'm really not a one night stand kind of guy. And it just seems like that's mostly all I'm finding(with the exception of the grad student).
I like the thought of settling down.......but it seems like no one else is ready for that.:mad:

louielouie2000 04-19-2011 10:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie (Post 967682)
To be honest, I have no problem getting laid, but I'm really not a one night stand kind of guy. And it just seems like that's mostly all I'm finding(with the exception of the grad student).
I like the thought of settling down.......but it seems like no one else is ready for that.:mad:

Honestly, it took me getting to the point where I actually lost all interest in dating to stumble upon someone who was worthy of my time. When I met my current bf, for the first time in my life I didn't want to date anyone... I was relishing being single for the first time EVER, and was enjoying living my life for me. Looking back, perhaps my desperation to find someone to settle down with was far more visible than I thought, and scared off potential suitors.

There is actually a Sharon Jones song which perfectly captures this situation.

Sharon Jones: Be Easy

some people say
you gotta fight for a love that's true
climb every mountain
see every trial and tribulation through

but i'm here to tell ya
oooh that's only half the lesson
now if you want a girl to come to you
you gotta leave a little room for guessing

Whoa you just be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

don't you know it's just a fool plays the card
runnin a girl down like shes a game in a school yard
now if she waits
you should turn, let her alone
she'll come to you
just as sure as you're born

be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

don't you know a woman, no,
don't wanna man down on his knees?
runnin her down like a mouse after cheese
you got to be mellow if you want her affection
you get too excited, and she's off in another direction


so be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

ryguy2010 04-19-2011 10:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by louielouie2000 (Post 967705)
Honestly, it took me getting to the point where I actually lost all interest in dating to stumble upon someone who was worthy of my time. When I met my current bf, for the first time in my life I didn't want to date anyone... I was relishing being single for the first time EVER, and was enjoying living my life for me. Looking back, perhaps my desperation to find someone to settle down with was far more visible than I thought, and scared off potential suitors.

There is actually a Sharon Jones song which perfectly captures this situation.

Sharon Jones: Be Easy

some people say
you gotta fight for a love that's true
climb every mountain
see every trial and tribulation through

but i'm here to tell ya
oooh that's only half the lesson
now if you want a girl to come to you
you gotta leave a little room for guessing

Whoa you just be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

don't you know it's just a fool plays the card
runnin a girl down like shes a game in a school yard
now if she waits
you should turn, let her alone
she'll come to you
just as sure as you're born

be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

don't you know a woman, no,
don't wanna man down on his knees?
runnin her down like a mouse after cheese
you got to be mellow if you want her affection
you get too excited, and she's off in another direction


so be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

be easy baby
that girl'll come a runnin to you
if you just be easy baby
ahh she'll be easy too

Love this Louie. I usually scare people off in the opposite manner. I usually push people away or don't tell people how I feel to the point where it drove my ex batty. I always come off "strange" to people I believe. But I just assume get online and discuss my problems to complete strangers than to be perceived as weak or fukced up to someone I know on the outside

mezzoforte 04-19-2011 11:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie (Post 967682)
To be honest, I have no problem getting laid, but I'm really not a one night stand kind of guy. And it just seems like that's mostly all I'm finding(with the exception of the grad student).
I like the thought of settling down.......but it seems like no one else is ready for that.:mad:

That might have something to do with your preference for 20-year-olds?;):sorry:

ryguy2010 04-19-2011 11:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mezzoforte (Post 967723)
That might have something to do with your preference for 20-year olds?:sorry:

just spilled my drink everywhere :lol: . hey now I am 20 something :eek: But unlike a lot my age have only been with two people (both relationships). ROFLMAO

tbaker3 04-19-2011 11:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by louielouie2000 (Post 967705)
Honestly, it took me getting to the point where I actually lost all interest in dating to stumble upon someone who was worthy of my time. When I met my current bf, for the first time in my life I didn't want to date anyone... I was relishing being single for the first time EVER, and was enjoying living my life for me. Looking back, perhaps my desperation to find someone to settle down with was far more visible than I thought, and scared off potential suitors.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryguy2010 (Post 967718)
Love this Louie. I usually scare people off in the opposite manner. I usually push people away or don't tell people how I feel to the point where it drove my ex batty. I always come off "strange" to people I believe. But I just assume get online and discuss my problems to complete strangers than to be perceived as weak or fukced up to someone I know on the outside


I teeter back and forth between both of these. After I had ended my first "real" relationship, I didn't know how to be single anymore and absolutely hated it. Sleeping alone isn't my favorite. But after I had gotten over that aspect and become more comfortable with being single (and ultimately myself) I had become preceived as "snobby," which wasn't at all the case. My friends and I took pride in how we looked when we'd go out, be loud, have a blast, pictues every 15 seconds. And this morphed into the three of us (along with whatever girls we brought along) being called "the plastics" (mean girls had recently come out). Which I suppose could be intimidating. But seriously, judging people for trying to be as perfect as possible is JUST as bad as judging for someone for being less than attractive. I just have the attitude now that when it happens, it happens... just as long as it happens before I'm 30...

HomerMcvie 04-19-2011 11:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mezzoforte (Post 967723)
That might have something to do with your preference for 20-year-olds?;):sorry:

You're not wrong. As a matter of fact, I typed that myself(except I wrote 22), then erased it.

Honestly, the past few 22yo's I've slept with, picked me up. Believe it or not.

HomerMcvie 04-19-2011 11:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryguy2010 (Post 967718)
Love this Louie. I usually scare people off in the opposite manner. I usually push people away or don't tell people how I feel to the point where it drove my ex batty.

Well, that's the one I've been seeing for 19 months now(off and on). Pretty passionate, but extremely lacking the verbal ability, to tell me anything. I get very frustrated, but I'm learning to deal with it. Me? I'm mushy, and I'll tell you exactly how I feel.

ryguy2010 04-19-2011 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tbaker3 (Post 967728)
I teeter back and forth between both of these. After I had ended my first "real" relationship, I didn't know how to be single anymore and absolutely hated it. Sleeping alone isn't my favorite. But after I had gotten over that aspect and become more comfortable with being single (and ultimately myself) I had become preceived as "snobby," which wasn't at all the case. My friends and I took pride in how we looked when we'd go out, be loud, have a blast, pictues every 15 seconds. And this morphed into the three of us (along with whatever girls we brought along) being called "the plastics" (mean girls had recently come out). Which I suppose could be intimidating. But seriously, judging people for trying to be as perfect as possible is JUST as bad as judging for someone for being less than attractive. I just have the attitude now that when it happens, it happens... just as long as it happens before I'm 30...

Believe me you can't win for losing in that regard. One can just as easily be perceived as snobby or prudish for being shy and insecure as someone who is happy and care free. But don't we all want to look our best? People can be mean spirited though b/c you may potentially have something in yourself that they lack.

tbaker3 04-19-2011 11:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie (Post 967738)
Well, that's the one I've been seeing for 19 months now(off and on). Pretty passionate, but extremely lacking the verbal ability, to tell me anything. I get very frustrated, but I'm learning to deal with it. Me? I'm mushy, and I'll tell you exactly how I feel.


Oh god, that's my OTHER problem. I don't like talking about my feelings... I was brought up in a family of all boys (except mom)... we didn't talk about feelings.
I'm getting better at it, but it still feels awkward.

HomerMcvie 04-19-2011 11:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryguy2010 (Post 967740)
Believe me you can't win for losing in that regard. One can just as easily be perceived as snobby or prudish for being shy and insecure as someone who is happy and care free. But don't we all want to look our best? People can be mean spirited though b/c you may potentially have something in yourself that they lack.

Well, it depends. Where I live(college town), almost nobody ever goes out dressed in suits and fancy dresses. So yeah, when we see the rare person dressed to the nines, we tend to make fun of them, and I personally, shy away from them. I mean, "they must think they're 'all that'". So I guess it depends on the situation.
I'm a jeans and T-shirt guy, and always will be. That doesn't mean they can't be sexy jeans, and a tight shirt. But again, I'd avoid someone dressed like they were going to the Royal Wedding, like the plague. That's.just.me.

tbaker3 04-20-2011 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ryguy2010 (Post 967740)
Believe me you can't win for losing in that regard. One can just as easily be perceived as snobby or prudish for being shy and insecure as someone who is happy and care free. But don't we all want to look our best? People can be mean spirited though b/c you may potentially have something in yourself that they lack.

But I mask my insecurities BY being loud I think. Maybe not so much anymore. I'm a lot different now than when I was 21/22. But I was super shy and insecure, but the other 2 "plastics"... lets call them Regina and Gretchen... basically "trained" me on how to be outgoing. As I look back, I was totally a project for them. My ex was very much a laid back small town kind of guy, and thats how I was brought up, so I easily fit into that situation. Regina and Gretchen had other plans. I was totally their Kady Herron. Months after they were done, I totally called them on it. They just laughed and were like, "but don't you love your life so much more now?" And I do, I'm not shy anymore, and my insecurities are mostly gone. It was the whole "fake it till you make it" thing, and it worked.

ryguy2010 04-20-2011 12:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HomerMcvie (Post 967744)
Well, it depends. Where I live(college town), almost nobody ever goes out dressed in suits and fancy dresses. So yeah, when we see the rare person dressed to the nines, we tend to make fun of them, and I personally, shy away from them. I mean, "they must think they're 'all that'". So I guess it depends on the situation.
I'm a jeans and T-shirt guy, and always will be. That doesn't mean they can't be sexy jeans, and a tight shirt. But again, I'd avoid someone dressed like they were going to the Royal Wedding, like the plague. That's.just.me.

Well I wasn't necessarily referring to "style" more pointing towards hygiene and grooming than dressing for the ball of the century. So ultimately I concede with your post.

HomerMcvie 04-20-2011 12:15 AM

Concur.

Nah, I prefer to go weeks between bathing. It strengthens the soul.;)






I'm am SO kidding, I don't dare leave that, without explaining that I'm joking. I'm a clean freak with personal hygiene!


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