Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

For my political friends on the Ledge....

I expect a list from the Left...:laugh: Enjoy!!

You know you are a Liberal when (.....Drumroll, please!!.......):


You think displaying the American flag is jingoistic or Nationalistic.

You think Independence Day is an evil holiday and you won't celebrate it because of the reasons stated above.

You are constantly and forever whining, griping, and complaining about how you can't stand America, yet you are still a U.S. citizen who lives here, pays your taxes, and supports the economy.

You think we deserved the Sept. 11 attacks and secretly hope for the next attack.

You think it is terrible for someone to come into a public school classroom and talk about Christianity, but it is okay for someone to some in there to talk about Kaballah, Buddhism, or Allah, etc.

You think that divorce is always the right answer to any marriage problems.

You were very saddened to learn of the deaths of the Hussein brothers last summer and think that it was wrong.

You hope that Saddam Hussein is being well-taken care of in custody and that he gets a light, fair sentence.

You always decry the U.S. admin side of the war, but have never decried Hussein's treatment of his own people during his regime.

Your opinion of Hussein's regime is, "who are we to say how he should treat his people?"

You think that George Washington is nothing but a adulterer.

You think that Columbus is nothing but an Indian-killer.

You think that only those facts about the above two should be taught in public school history.

You support school classes being multi-lingual and don't think foreign children should have to take ESL classes.

You don't think that any foreigners should have to learn english and that we should all just cater to their language needs.

You deny all of the above statements in one sentence, then turn around and basically support the statements in the next sentence.

You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination

You think that women and men are basically alike and essentially interchangeable, that "gender" is a result of culturally imposed norms, not innate, natural dispositions

you think that people are born with sexual "orientation", but that sex (or gender) can be changed with a knife.

you think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

You find charisma to be an appropriate replacement for honesty.

You find flashy rhetoric to be a suitable substitute for sincerity.

You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.

You believe if Martin Sheen or Sean Penn said so, it has to be a universally known fact

You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism

You think every problem can be solved with bigger Government

You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit

You think Saddam Hussein, Bin Laden and Hitler were just "misunderstood"

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions

Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child

The government should provide cradle to grave entitlement programs for everyone.

No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead.

The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

You want to reward those who do not wish to work, and at the same time, punish those who do work

You think society "owes you a living"

You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military secrets to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.

You believe that guns in the hands of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat than nuclear weapons in the hands of a fanatical hate-filled dictator.

You believe that 9/11 was an "Israeli conspiracy" and could never have been carried out by Bin Laden or his croonies

You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to appease and compromise with them.

You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas

You believe that morals and integrity should never get in the way of popular opinion

You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.

You want what you feel "you deserve", instead of what you earn

You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake

You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point

You think trial Lawyers suing big corporations with lawsuits that deny arguments of personal responsibility is a "good thing"

You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.

You think that "truth" is irrelevant.

You think Ah-Nold should not have been allowed to run for Gov, because he's "just a celebrity", but at the same time, you would have had no problem endorsing Babs, Tim Robbins, or Martin Sheen based on that very criteria.

You refuse to ever fly the American flag or any other show of patriotism because this country has so many things wrong with it.

You think that the Fourth of July is an evil holiday and refuse to celebrate it.

You have always been constantly complaining, whining, and saying how much you absolutely hate this country despite the fact that you have been living here all your life and pay taxes and support the economy.

You believe that the term 'illegal immigrant' is profane.

You are a college professor at a big university.

You believe that we deserved and asked for the Sept. 11 attacks.

You think of our servicemen/women as being brainwashed, manipulated zombies.

You think that we have no business saying how Iraq should be run and therefore Saddam should of stayed in power.

You think that any WMD's that will be found were planted there by the Bush admin.

You have ever made a donation to Greenpeace

If you protest Arnold's alleged "groping" of women while cheering when Bill Clinton admitted to sexual mis-conduct.

You believe that an accusation against a Conservative should not be concerned with whether or not that accusation is a lie or the truth but should be wholly concerned with the seriousness of the accusation.

If you decry every mention of Christian faith but demand a paid day off on Christmas

If you think Yassar Arrafat really cares about peace

If you think Jacque Chirac deserves a Nobel Prize

You fail to see the connection between Lenin and Lennon.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand

You are against the war on terrorism, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars making movies about it

You preach about the evils of capitalism from the comfort of your $50,000,000 Beverly Hills mansion

You think that being able to play the President on a TV show automatically grants "political expertise" in real life.

You claim that there is too much violence in the movies....then you beat up anybody who disagrees with you

You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all"

You think Hollywood is some kind of "supreme god" who can do and say no wrong, and should be worshipped 24/7

You call lies "truth" and you call truth "propaganda"

You believed Al Gore when he said he "invented the Internet"

You believed Bill Clinton when he said he "felt your pain".

You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe

You think Freedom of Speech means freedom from responsibility for what you say

You believe that Freedom of Speech only applies to a certain percentage of America, but not everybody else.

You think if a crime is committed with a gun, the gun is responsible, and NOT the offender

You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns

You think that another person's rights are an infringement upon your own rights

You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble"

You think the UN is an efficient governmental body

You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.

You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler"

You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated"

You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority

You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders

You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush

You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do

You preach "peace" and "love" and "non-violence" and "anti-gun laws" but appear in movies that glorify guns, explosives and twisting people's heads off with martial arts to win over the bad guys.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program and lowering moral.

You think the "all Men are created equal" comments in the Declaration Of Independance means that they are actually equal in ability (as opposed to being given equal opportunity) and no one should make a choice about them based on their actual abilities to perform.

You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.

You think demanding respect is more important than actually doing something to earn it

You think the "right of the people to peaceably assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances" means breaking into military installations during wartime, stopping commerce, and breaking nudity laws and are what the founding fathers meant.

You think the meaning of the Constitution changes with your moods or to suit your own ideals and/or agendas.

You think freedom OF religion means annihilation of any reference religion.

You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians or other religious groups should be taken away

You think if anybody disagrees with you, they are challenging your rights to Free Speech

You think burning the American Flag is protected by Freedom of Speech, but those who disagree are not.

When you boycott a Conservative person and/or company you call it "Freedom of Choice"....but when Conservatives boycott, you call it "McCarthyism".

You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.

You think that tolerance equals acceptance and anyone who doesn't accept a liberal cause is a racist or bigot.

You throw down the "race" or "class" card as your only argument.

You think terrorists and arsonists who burn down private property and harass businesses are noble but the troops who liberated Iraqis are war criminals.

You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.

You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.

You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.

You frown upon self-thought and independent thought.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

And Finally......................................................

You may be a Liberal if you think Ralph Nader cares about consumers, Unions care about their members, the ACLU cares about civil liberties, the National Education Association cares about education, People for the American Way care about the American way, and Bill Clinton cares about anything other than Bill Clinton.

WHEW!!

Rob
:cool:

A few of those are over the line, but I like htme for the most part. :D

Here are the rules for being a Republican:

1) You must believe that being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you are millionaire conservative radio jock, which makes it an "illness" and requires our prayers for your "recovery".

2) You have to truly believe that people who are privileged from birth achieve success all on their own.

3) You have to believe that the US should get out of the UN and that our highest national priority is enforcing UN resolutions against Iraq.

4) You have to believe that government should stay out of people's lives, but it needs to punish anyone caught having private sex with the "wrong" gender.

5) You have to believe that pollution is ok, so long as it makes a profit.

6) You have to believe in prayer in schools, as long as you don't pray to Allah or Kali.

7) "Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

8) You have to believe that a woman cannot be trusted with decisions about her own body, but that large multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind with no regulation whatsoever.

9) You have to believe that you love Jesus and Jesus loves you, and that Jesus shares your hatred of welfare, homosexuals, and Hillary Clinton.

10) You hate the ALCU for representing atheists and gays, but they owed it to the country to bail out Oliver North.

11) You have to believe that the best way to encourage military morale is to praise the troops overseas while cutting their VA benefits.

12) You believe that group sex and drug use are degenerate sins that can only be purged by running for governor of California as a Republican.

13) You have to believe it is wise to keep condoms out of schools, because we all know if teenagers don't have condoms they won't have sex.

14) You have to believe that the best way to fight terrorism is to alienate our allies and then demand their cooperation and money.

15) You have to believe that federally funded universal health insurance is Socialist and wrong, and that HMO's and insurance companies only have your best interests at heart.

16) You have to believe that providing health care to all Iraqis is sound government policy but providing health care to all Americans is the epitome of Socialism.

17) You believe that "tobacco's link to cancer" and "global warming" are "junk science", but Creationism should be taught in schools.

18) You have to believe that waging war with no exit strategy was wrong in Vietnam but right in Iraq.

19) You have to believe that Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney was doing business with him, and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

20) You believe that government should restrict itself to just the powers named in the Constitution, except for banning gay marriages and censoring the internet.

21) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about the adulterous affairs of Democrats, while those of Republicans are a "private matter".

22) You have to believe that the public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades but that Bush was right to censor those 28 pages from the Congressional 9/11 report because you just can't handle the truth.

23) You support state's rights, which means Ashcroft telling the states which locally passed voter initiatives he will allow them to have.

24) You have to believe that what Clinton did in the 1960's is of vital national interest but what Bush did decades later is "stale news" and "irrelevant".

25) You have to believe that trade with Cuba is wrong because it is Communist and oppressive, but trading with China and Vietnam is just dandy.

Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

That's all I can muster for now. :laugh:

Re: Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

Good Stuff!!!:D

For the record...I didn't author all of those...just added a few.;)

Nor do I believe them all...

Rob:cool:

Re: Re: Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

I didn't think you did. :D It was a loooooooooooooooooong list!

Those are all hyterical :laugh:

Hey Rob, thanks for posting those. Here's a few that I feel strongly about.

How true, and how WRONG.


:confused:


YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! :laugh:


Hypocrites! :D


I'm proud to be a conservative. :)


Joe

That's the defintion of shock and awe. :eek: :laugh:

Just to get the pot stirred, why are you conservatives against reparations?

Well, I say if you have it for one class of people you have it for everyone. Again, every Irishman that was imported to work until they died because it was cheaper than buying and caring for a slave, deserves compensation. I mean if you want to go that route, the Italian govt. owes the Christians :cool:

Also, to me its the whole ex post facto argument. How can I today be held financially liable today for something my great, great . . . . grandparents did that was perfectly legal. The Const. seemingly prohibits that (Art. 1, Sec. 9 "No Bill of Attainder or ex post facto Law shall be passed."). If it had been illegal that might be another issue. But, it was legal prior to December 1865, when Art. XXIII was ratified (Art. IV, Sec. 2 "No Person held to Service or Labour in one State, under the Laws thereof, escaping into another, shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulation therein, be discharged from such Service or Labour, but shall be delivered up on Claim of the Party to whom such Service or Labour may be due." Also, clearly any statute of limitations in common law has expired.

If the money went to some kind of college fund, I would not mind so much. But, to award millions to an individual for something perfectly legal that happened to people they never knew. I just do not get that. Moreover, many many almost fully caucasians would get $$$$ if 200 years ago, they had any enslaved black blood.

Finally, not all slave owners treated their slaves poorly. That is kind of a Hollywood myth. I mean why would you beat to death every day and starve your best workers that you paid handsomely for. Think about it. Note: I am not justifying slavery or saying it was a bed of roses by any means. It was not; it was a horrible thing. I am just saying that it is illogical to think that every slave was beaten everyday as seemingly depicted by Hollywood.

Now - if the govt. wants to give some amount - I could care a less. If they do, however, that will be the end of AA based on race :cool:

Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

SORRY FOR THE RESPONSE IN CAPS. DON'T MEAN TO YELL, BUT CAN'T GET THIS PROGRAM TO DO ITALICS OR BOLD ON MY COMPUTER !


You think it is terrible for someone to come into a public school classroom and talk about Christianity, but it is okay for someone to some in there to talk about Kaballah, Buddhism, or Allah, etc.

NO RELIGION IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS. EVER.

You think that divorce is always the right answer to any marriage problems.

DIVORCE IS A DISASTER FOR ALL. MARRIAGES AND DIVORCES SHOULD BOTH BE VERY DIFFICULT TO GET. MAYBE THEY WOULD BE VALUED MORE.

You support school classes being multi-lingual and don't think foreign children should have to take ESL classes.

ALL SCHOOLS SHOULD REQUIRE ENGLISH. IF KIDS ARE BEHIND AND NEED SOME TUTORING IN THIER NATIVE LANGUAGE TILL THEY ARE UP TO SPEED, THAT ONLY MAKES SENSE.

You think that the answer to discrimination is more discrimination

EVERYONE DISCRIMINATES.

You think that women and men are basically alike and essentially interchangeable, that "gender" is a result of culturally imposed norms, not innate, natural dispositions

MEN AND WOMEN ARE RADICALLY DIFFERENT. NOT A BAD THING.

you think that people are born with sexual "orientation", but that sex (or gender) can be changed with a knife.

I WAS BORN WITH MINE, IF MEMORY SERVES ME CORRECTLY. GENDER, EVIDENTLY, IS AS PSYCHOLOGICAL AS PHYSIOLOGICAL.

you think that racial hatred is wrong, but class hatred is acceptable.

RACIAL HATRED IS DESTRUCTIVE AND IGNORANT. CLASS HATRED IS NOT SO BRIGHT EITHER.

You feel people should "share the wealth" (as long as your money is not the one being "shared")

SEEING AS I AM TAXED WITHIN AN INCH OF MY LIFE, I AM ALREADY SHARING.

You think pedophilia is ok, but God must be banned

PEDOPHILIA IS VILE. GOD CAN'T BE BANNED. GOVERNMENT JUST SHOULDN'T DICTATE RELIGION.

You believe people are owed restitution for injuries inflicted on their long-dead ancestors.

NOT IN MY LIFETIME. STOLEN PROPERTY, HOWEVER, SHOULD BE RETURNED.


You don't believe willful omissions of facts should be considered lying.

I'LL WAIT TILL THE JURY IS IN ON THE MASSIVE ARSENAL OF WMD'S.

You have a problem with the mention of God in the Pledge of Allegiance, but have no qualms about it being printed on your wonderful money.

I THINK IT IS SILLY AS HELL THAT IT IS ON MY MONEY.

You simultaneously piss on our country and its system while reaping its rewards.

PARTS OF IT AREN'T WORKING, PARTS OF IT ARE.

You refuse to acknowledge any contributions to society that were not made by minorities.

I BETTER GUT MY LIBRARY AND MUSIC COLLECTIONS !

You try to make excuses for and justify terrorism

I LIKE TO UNDERSTAND WHY THEY DO WHAT THEY DO. I UNDERSTAND WHY RELIGIOUS FANATICS WOULD LIKE TO GUT ME AND THROW ME IN A DITCH - GOOD TO KNOW THE BIBLE IS SO USEFUL TO THEM.

You believe that we can "spend our way" out of the deficit

LIKE THE CURRENT ADMINISTRATION IS DOING ? THE GOVERNMENT IS ESSENTIALLY BEING RUN ON CREDIT CARDS. HA ! WAIT TILL THOSE FINANCES CHARGES COME IN THE MAIL !

You believe that people should not have to be expected to take responsibility for their actions

COMPLETE RESPONSIBLITY. PUT KENNETH LAY IN THE PUBLIC SQUARE IN THE STOCKS IMMEDIATELY.

Mothers who are drug addicts should be allowed to have children and to raise them while they're addicted.

MOTHERS WHO ARE DRUG ADDICTS AND HAVE CHILDREN SHOULD BE STERILIZED.

Capitalism oppresses people and Socialism liberates people.

SOCIALIZED MEDICINE MIGHT MAKE A LOT MORE PEOPLE HEALTHIER. CAPITALISM ALWAYS TAKES SOMETHING OUT OF SOMEONE'S HIDE SOMEWHERE. BUT IT WORKS.

You do not believe that violent criminals should be subject to the death penalty because it's "inhumane" but at the same time, you refuse to lift a finger to save an un-born child

IN A SYSTEM WITH BETTER CERTAINTY, I SAY BRING ON THE DEATH PENALTY. THERE ARE FAR TOO MANY PEOPLE ALREADY.
MORE CHILDREN ? THE LAST THING THIS WORLD NEEDS.

No trees should be cut down, even if they're dead.

DEAD TREES SHOULD BE USED. WE SHOULD BE CAREFUL HOW MANY TREES WE CUT. GIANT OLD TREES AND FORESTS ARE A FINITE RESOURCE AND TAKE A LONG TIME TO GROW BACK.

The government should tax every last bit of your paycheck.

IF THEY SPENT THE MONEY MORE WISELY, I WOULD FORK OVER MORE.

You think that Saddam, Stalin, and Hitler were "noble" and in the same breath, you call President Bush "evil".

I THINK HE IS A LITTLE DIM, ULTIMATELY BOUGHT AND PAID FOR BY VERY EVIL PEOPLE.

You take a trip over to a foreign country to profess how horrible America is.

THEY USUALLY TELL ME THAT, AND I DEFEND THE COUNTRY.

You believe in choice except when it comes to retirement, schools, and health care

I AM ALL ABOUT CHOICES. JUST KEEP STATE SPONSORED RELIGION OFF MY CHOICE PLATE.

You think Clinton was an "honest and virtuous man"

CLINTON LIED ABOUT SEX, LIKE ALL MEN DO. OTHERWISE, AS HONEST A POLITICIAN AS I HAVE SEEN. THEY ARE ALL SCUM TO SOME DEGREE.

You believe that unwed teenage mothers should get a paycheck from the Government

UNWED TEENAGE MOTHERS SHOULD GET A CLUE AND SHUT THEIR LEGS. THE TOTALLY DESPERATE NEED SOME SUPPORT OF SOME KIND. WE COULD LET THEM STARVE, I GUESS, BUT THAT WOULDN'T BE VERY CHRISTIAN OF US.

You ignore more than 50 years of medical warnings about tobacco use, but when you get cancer, the tobacco company is to blame.

YOU PLAY THE GAME, YOU PAY THE PRICE. EVEN THE ILLITERATE KNOW SMOKING IS DANGEROUS.

You somehow believe that George Bush is more dangerous than Bin Laden, Saddam, Hitler, ect.

IN TERMS OF LONG TERM DAMAGE, HE'S UP THERE.

You believe conservatives telling the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the White House.

CONSERVATIVES TELLING THE TRUTH ? ARE MONKEYS FLYING OUT OF RUSH LIMBAUGH'S BUTT ?

You believe that the same teacher who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to teach those same kids about sex.

PARENTS WHO WON'T TEACH THEIR KIDS ABOUT SEX DON'T DESERVE TO BE PARENTS, AND DO DESERVE WHAT HAPPENS AS A CONSEQUENCE.

You somehow think that a President who lied under oath, compromised with fanatical dicators, and gave military secrets to hostile regimes is somehow better for America than the present Administration.

THAT MUST BE BUSH SR., RIGHT ?

You think the best way to deal with terrorist regimes is to appease and compromise with them.

LIKE WE'RE DOING WITH THE SAUDIS ?

You think SUVs are responsible for the rising cost of gas

THE RISING COST OF GAS IS THE RESULT OF THE PEOPLE WHO SELL IT WANTING MORE MONEY. WE NEED TO GET OFF THE GAS TIT, PRONTO.

You believe that morals and integrity should never get in the way of popular opinion

POPULAR OPINION IS OVERRATED. NOTE THE CAREER OF CELINE DION.

You want to legalize drugs but outlaw tobacco.

DRUGS SUCK. LET THE IDIOTS USE THEM.

You think it's OK to be dis-honest, if personal gain is at stake

IF THE FORTUNES OF YOUR CONTRIBUTORS ARE AT STAKE, INDEED, MY PETROLEUM REFINING FRIENDS !

You can exaggerate the facts and make up fiction to prove your point

THERE REALLY ARE NUCLEAR WEAPONS ALL OVER THE MIDDLE EAST. THERE REALLY IS A TERRORIST THREAT. THERE REALLY IS A THREAT. BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID. LIVING IN THE US IS DAMNED NEAR LIKE LIVING IN BEIRUT. BE VERY AFRAID. TAPE YOUR WINDOWS. RED ALERT, PURPLE ALERT, HIDE UNDER THE BED !!!!

You think trial Lawyers suing big corporations with lawsuits that deny arguments of personal responsibility is a "good thing"

KILL ALL THE LAWYERS.

You spew out your rhetoric, but have nothing to back it up.

BE AFRAID, BE VERY AFRAID, THERE ARE TERRORISTS EVERYWHERE.

You think that "truth" is irrelevant.

SEE ABOVE.

You think Ah-Nold should not have been allowed to run for Gov, because he's "just a celebrity", but at the same time, you would have had no problem endorsing Babs, Tim Robbins, or Martin Sheen based on that very criteria.

AHNULD IS A DILETTANT. BABS IS ANNOYING. THE OTHERS DON'T WARRANT COMMENT.

You refuse to ever fly the American flag or any other show of patriotism because this country has so many things wrong with it.

A FLAG FLIES AT MY MAILBOX AS I TYPE.

You believe that the term 'illegal immigrant' is profane.

ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE CRIMINALS AND SHOULD BE TREATED AS SUCH.

You are a college professor at a big university.

IN A PARALLEL UNIVERSE I TEACH WRESTLING AT AN ALL MALE UNIVERSITY.

You believe that we deserved and asked for the Sept. 11 attacks.

I BELIEVE 9/11 IS THE WORST DISASTER OF MY LIFETIME, AND THE GREATEST THING THAT WILL EVER HAPPEN TO BUSH.

You think of our servicemen/women as being brainwashed, manipulated zombies.

I AM VERY PROUD OF ALL OF THEM AND AM AWED BY THEIR SERVICE. ALAS, I AM A HOMO AND THE MILITARY WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ME WHEN I WAS OF AGE.

You think that we have no business saying how Iraq should be run and therefore Saddam should of stayed in power.

WE HAVE A LOT OF NERVE TRYING TO RULE THE WORLD. OUR ACTIONS WOULD HAVE MORE WEIGHT WITH MORE ALLIES ON OUR SIDE.

You think that any WMD's that will be found were planted there by the Bush admin.

STILL WAITING FOR THAT MOUNTAIN TO BE UNCOVERED. I AM SURE OSB IS HIDING UNDER IT WITH HIS DIALYSIS MACHINE.

You have ever made a donation to Greenpeace

I THINK FLEETWOOD MAC GAVE THEM PLENTY OF MONEY.

If you protest Arnold's alleged "groping" of women while cheering when Bill Clinton admitted to sexual mis-conduct.

THEY'RE BOTH MEN. BOTH DOGS. IRRELEVANT.

If you decry every mention of Christian faith but demand a paid day off on Christmas

I AM STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT EXACTLY HOW THE CHRISTIANS CO-OPTED THE WINTER SOLSTICE FROM THE PAGANS.

If you think Yassar Arrafat really cares about peace

I THINK ARAFAT IS THE ULTIMATE WINNER OF THE RINGO STARR LOOK ALIKE CONTEST AND SHOULD TOUR WITH THE SURVIVING BEATLES.

You have ever agreed with Martin Sheen or Barbra Streisand

I DON'T EVEN AGREE WITH THEIR CAREER MOVES.

You are against the war on terrorism, but are only too happy to make millions of dollars making movies about it

I GOT OFFERED A JOB ON A HACK MOVIE ABOUT JESSICA LYNCH. DIDN'T DO IT.

You preach about the evils of capitalism from the comfort of your $50,000,000 Beverly Hills mansion

IF ONLY.

You think that being able to play the President on a TV show automatically grants "political expertise" in real life.

BEING THE PRESIDENT'S SON DOES THAT.

You think that more taxes are an "economic cure-all"

OH NO. BORROWING MONEY IS.

You think Hollywood is some kind of "supreme god" who can do and say no wrong, and should be worshipped 24/7

HOLLYWOOD IS SILLY. AND EVERYONE EATS IT UP.

You call lies "truth" and you call truth "propaganda"

ORANGE ALERT.

You believed Al Gore when he said he "invented the Internet"

IF ONLY A SURGEON COULD HAVE GIVEN HIM A PERSONALITY TRANSPLANT.

You believed Bill Clinton when he said he "felt your pain".

I THINK CLINTON UNDERSTANDS WHAT IT'S LIKE TO NOT HAVE THE WORLD HANDED TO YOU ON A PLATTER AND HAVE YOUR FAMILY BAIL YOUR SORRY DRUNKEN ASS OUT WHENEVER YOU FAIL.

You turn a blind eye to the suicide bombings at the hands of radical fanatics, but condemn Israel and the Western World for wanting to keep their people safe

DAMN THOSE ABORTION DOCTORS WANTING TO LIVE.

You think if a crime is committed with a gun, the gun is responsible, and NOT the offender

GUNS MAKE IT EASIER FOR COWARDS TO KILL PEOPLE. BUT THEY DON'T FIRE THEMSELVES.

You blame the NRA, and not the criminals, for violent crime with guns

I BLAME CHARLTON HESTON.

You think that another person's rights are an infringement upon your own rights

I THINK MY SEXUALITY IS DESTROYING MARRIAGES ALL OVER THE COUNTRY AND HAS BEEN SINCE MY BIRTH.

You think the Corporations are evil, but Communism and dictatorships are "noble"

CORPORATIONS, RUN BY THE SANE AND DECENT, ARE A WONDER TO BEHOLD. COMMUNISM ? GOOD IDEA, FOR SOME SPECIES.

You think the UN is an efficient governmental body

GREAT CONCEPT. EGOTISTICAL, ARROGANT PARTICIPANTS.

You say you fight discrimination, then you give minorities extra "perks" simply because of race.

NOT ON MY WATCH.

You think the Kennedy Family was a "respectable family" but call George Bush a "Hitler"

KENNEDY FAMILY ? BOOZE MONEY AND BAD TEETH. JFK - GOOD PRESIDENT AND ROTTEN HUSBAND. BUSH A HITLER ? GIVEN THE CHANCE. HE'S ALREADY GOT GOEBBELS, I MEAN RUMSFELD, I MEAN GOEBBELS....

You think traits like honesty and character are "out-dated"

OUT OF FASHION, CERTAINLY.

You think that the minority should have the right to force their will upon the majority

THE MINORITY SHOULD BE PROTECTED FROM THE MAJORITY IF THEY ARE IN CONSTANT DANGER.

You somehow think taking guns away from honest citizens will reduce crime by violent offenders

SOMEONE OUGHT TO GET AUTOMATIC WEAPONS OUT OF THE HANDS OF DRUG DEALERS IN SOUTH CENTRAL LA. IS CHARLTON HESTON AVAILABLE ?

You somehow think Saddam and Bin Laden are better for the world than President Bush

ALL BAD. ALL THE TIME.

You believe people should do what you say, but not what you do

BOTH.

You deride Bush for landing on a plane to boost moral and show his gratitude to the troops but you praise Clinton for using the military as a social program and lowering moral.

IF BUSH HAD BEEN IN THE MILITARY, HIS STUNTS WOULD HAVE AT LEAST HAD TINGES OF HONESTY. CLINTON ACTUALLY SHOULD HAVE GONE INTO THE MILITARY AND PRAISED THEM FOR BEATING GAY SOLDIERS TO DEATH. WHAT WAS HE THINKING ?

You think a person's sexual preference, and not their ability to perform, should be the deciding factor in who-gets-what job.

YEAH. THAT'S IT. ACTUALLY, I WANT TO BE ABLE TO FIRE PEOPLE WHO ARE STRAIGHT AND HAVE KIDS. AT WILL. AND THEN KICK THEM OUT THE DOOR AS I SNICKER BEHIND THEIR BACKS AND CALL THEM NAMES !

You think the meaning of the Constitution changes with your moods or to suit your own ideals and/or agendas.

TO TELL THE TRUTH, I THINK STATES SHOULD HAVE PRECEDENCE AND FEDS SHOULDN'T MEDDLE IN THEIR BUSINESS. OH, EXCEPT WHEN ASHCROFT SAYS DIFFERENTLY.


You think freedom OF religion means annihilation of any reference religion.

FREEDOM OF RELIGION PROBABLY SHOULD MEAN THAT KIDS SHOULD PRAY IN SCHOOLS. IN EACH CLASS, A POLL SHOULD BE DONE, AND FOR EACH RELIGION PRACTICED BY THE STUDENTS, EQUAL TIME SHOULD BE GIVEN FOR PRAYER AND STUDY. SAY, TEN MINUTES FOR EACH RELIGION. WHEN THAT'S DONE, MAYBE THEY CAN LEARN READING, MATH, AND SCIENCE.

You think that rights of gays, lesbians, drag queens (or kings) should be forcibly recognized, but rights of Christians or other religious groups should be taken away

I THINK THAT GAYS AND LESBIANS SHOULD BE STONED TO DEATH, AND THE ADULTERERS SHOULD BE RIGHT NEXT TO THEM. ISN'T THAT IN SOME CRAZY BOOK SOMEWHERE ? AND WHAT ABOUT THAT MIXED FIBER THING ? I BELIEVE THAT IS AN ABOMINATION TOO. AND WHILE WE'RE AT IT, SHOULDN'T WE BE BANISHING ALL THOSE MENSTRUATING, UNCLEAN WOMEN ? CAN WE SET UP CAMPS FOR THEM ?

You think convicted criminals and democratic politicians who screw up are worth understanding and forgiving but conservative politicians and religious people who speak their opinion should be banned from public service.

POOR RUSH.

You think that violent protests and domestic terrorism are how you affect change in our country instead of voting.

LET'S HEAR IT FOR THE ABORTION CLINIC BOMBERS !

You ban Tom Sawyer from schools for being "racist" but you approve of My Two Moms as wholesome and acceptable.

BOTH BOOKS REFLECT REALITY IN THEIR ERAS. IF, IN FACT, REALITY IS ACCEPTABLE.

You think that you can understand politics from Hollywood and activist celebrities without doing any research yourself.

HURRAH FOR GOVERNOR AHNULD !


REMEMBER EVERYONE - BE AFRAID. THERE ARE TERRORISTS EVERYWHERE ! LITERALLY EVERYWHERE.

THAT WAS FUN.

OMG - Sparky I agree I agree!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, dang... not a single one of those fits me! :confused: :distress:

Ah well, I'm still confident that I'm not a conservative!
I mean, I have enough trouble sleeping at night, without that on my conscience! :laugh: ;)

Not unless some are coming my way from the English...I am Scottish\Irish.

Most of my family wasn't even over hear during the slavery era and the ones who were had members who fought and died for the Union. We've payed our dues in blood, you could say.

Reparations will not solve anything. How can someone be punished for something that happened over 100 years before they were born? Besides "reparations" sort of already exist in the form of Affirmative Action anyway.

Rob:cool:

Sparky, I LMAO when I read your reply....

I knew I would be entertained by this thread....

Rob:cool:

Did you see the part about killing all the lawyers??!:eek: :laugh: :wavey:

Well, Rob67, I am thrilled you were amused by my post.

After talking to a friend of mine this evening, I am realizing my political views are far more serious than I ever realized.

More than a few people I know are currently in the process of losing their entire retirement funds. Their companies, in spite of Union rules, are deciding that the retirement funds need to be "absorbed" to remain competitive.

Imagine. 34 years of service to a company. The belief that the company was setting aside money for you. An agreement. A belief. A contract. And guess what ? The rug pulled out from under you a few months before retirement. And a Washington environment that is conspicuously Anti Union and Anti Labor. An entire lifetime of work, and the prize at the end of the road snatched away by CEOS and executives who wanted....a Chalet...a vacation in the Bahamas...no matter. Whatever it is, it doesn't matter. This is the environment fostered by and sanctioned by this current administration.

This is not about entitilement or laziness. It is about honor and character. It is about contracts, beliefs, and human decency. It is about the American values I was raised with and which do not seem to matter anymore in the Bush world. Who is punished for this ? Evidently, Martha Stewart, for a 40k stock transaction.

IMO, the American middle calss is a vanishing breed. The "haves" take all they can grab, the "have nots" are increasing exponentially as I speak. While the "haves" are purchasing condos, islands, and stocks on the backs of people who worked all their lives for a pittance of a retirement. Said retirement is now being used for vacation homes and golden parachutes for crooked executives.

This is America ? I think not. The same people who would see me gutted in a ditch (Pat Robertson, John Ashcroft, and Reverend Phelps among them) are all for this. They are in good company, financing the Republican coffers. As for the middle class, you'll soon find them in the ditch in which they would like to see me rotting.

For the record, I am a miser and invest my money wisely. I'll be fine.

If you make 150k a year or more - vote Republican. They give a damn about you. If you don't, have fun in the in the ditch ! You'll have plenty of company.

Oh Sparky - you had me going!!!!!!! and then this last post :laugh:

I agree, it is ashame, horrible, repugnant, etc., that some, but certainly not all, corporate big wigs pad their retirements, etc. But, unless they are doing something illegal (which many do and are never caught :mad: ), I think we are complaining to the wrong person IMO. I mean look by way of example at the offshore corporation loophole that exists to help corporations avoid paying some but not all American taxes by incorporating in say, Bermuda - where they pay far less tax if any at all. I think this is horrible and they ought to be ashamed of themselves for not carrying what I independantly determine is their fair share. But, my opinion of fair share is not the opinion of the IRS, which is the only opinion that matters. The IRS must tell you what taxes you owe (Oh if it were the other way around :laugh: ). Apparently the IRS does not care about this gross loss of revenue because they have known about the loophole for a long time and have not shut it. Moreover, Republicans and Democrats alike have bitched about it to get votes, but neither has done a whole lot to close it. Why? It seems to me that some of that legally gotten tax savings finds its way into a campaign donation in one form or another. So, as I have repeatedly said, it is not just the Republicans in the boat of corporate horribleness ( :cool: ) , the Democrats are right there with them on almost every issue. Also, corporate big wigs were padding their expense accounts, etc., during the past ten administrations and no one did a whole lot about it. For example, the trillions of dollars in fraud that Enron, MCI, and others committed for years in the Clinton Administration - yet they were never investigated, audited, or caught. :shrug:

Also, I often use the analogy of mortage interest tax deduction to make my point that taking a legal tax deduction is generally bad or unfair to the poor, yet we pretty much all do it with little care for whom it may hurt. For example, if you own your house and take the perfectly legal mortgage interest deduction, it could be argued you are screwing the poor. After all, the poor generally cannot afford to buy a house and get no such deduction and if they do buy a house they will probably buy a lesser expensive house and get less of a deduction. So, when someone fortunate enough to own a house takes the mortgage deduction off of their taxes, they are taking an elitist tax cut unavailable to everyone. So, I have suggested to my friends that bitched about the tax cut going only to the wealthy that they not take the mortgage interest deduction because it similarly also is a dedection only for the wealthy or at least it is a sliding scale tax benefit that benefits people who buy expensive houses with a mortgage. The same argument applies to the homestead exemptions available in many states which allows a homeowner to take usually about 20% off of the value of their house before the property tax is calculated. To date, I know of no one who has declined these clearly elitist but perfectly legal deductions despite their apparent care for the poor :cool:

Note: I offer this in a friendly manner and not an in your face, finger snapping, I'm right your wrong way :laugh: I just hate it when people say Republicans are against the little guy and Democrats are for them. I say based on the votes, they are essentinally the same, with the Democrats coming out a little on top, but not much. :cool:

Here we go - let's kill all the gays - they are what is wrong with the failing institutionof marriage even though they WANT to be married. :rolleyes:

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,109150,00.html

This is why I say get the govt. out of marriage altoghether. If you want to marry, let your church marry you. The govt. should not be supporting one form of marriage (gay, staight, polygamist, whatever) over another.

That they did not even give benefits to the same-sex partners of state employees as well as different sex partners of state employees is also horrible. It does, however, raise an intersting issue in that no Constitutional Equal Protection calim can be raised - in other words no unmarried group is being protected over another. It could be argued that protecting the rights on spouses of married people as opposed partners of all unmarried people is a violation of the Constitution's Equal Protection clause. But, the caselaw in this area indicates that argument will fail because the state clearly has an historically compelling interest in protecting marriage and unmarried people as a whole are not a historically discrimminated against and congenital class of people (termed "suspect class" ) like black people are. So, the law will stick on Equal Protection grounds. Interstingly, there may be a claim to overturn it via Ohio's Constitution a la the Mass. Ct. Also, the US Sup. Ct. could in theory apply the "liberty interest" rationale used in the recent case barring laws outlawing homosexual sodomy. However, that appears a remote chance.

Sad - very sad that so much hate exists in the world. For those who think it is not hate, I submit they should walk in the shoes of people who lose their houses, etc. because when their partners (regardless of sex) died, they had to pay Uncle Sam like 70% of the value at that time of their home or they were denied access to their loved ones in the hospital or could not make any decisions for them while they were sick.

Note - Georgia introduced a similar bill today -

http://www.ajc.com/metro/content/met.../22leggay.html


I think that although it smacks of the "sep. but equal" used in the civil rights cases, the heterosexual institution of marriage should not have been attacked and instead the politically correct "civil union" should have been sought. Hopefully, that is still a viable option.

Exactly...I definitly think the government should stay away from this argument. Who cares if gay people want to get married?

Rob:cool:

"When Democrats were the majority, I could sleep nights, not weep nights..."

:wavey:

John Ashcroft and Bob Jones.

See - Leviticus - only don't read too closely - just read the part about God hating fags - after all no one really does the rest of the stuff in there - just the fag hating is important :rolleyes:

There is a good article in Vanity Fair this month about Mr. Ashcroft's attitude towards homosexuals and how he tried to prevent Ambassador James Hormel from becoming an ambassador because he is gay.
It goes on to detail Mr. & Mrs. Ashcroft's opinion of their "servants" in their Missouri home. Not pretty.

Yea, the Hormel stuff was homemade (sorry :laugh: ) bigotry. I mean come on, how is that fact that the guy is gay going to effect at all our relationship with that beuatiful but politically insignificant country of Luxembourg
:eek: :rolleyes:

Interestingly, Clinton made a "recess" appointment" in the Hormel case a la W and Pickering.

Strand, I can't argue with much of this at all. I have been just taken aback at what I see currently happening to the lives and finances of people I know. We can all read the paper and listen to polls, but it is only real when it happens in our own lives.

Of course many Dems are in the pockets of huge corporations as well. It very well may be that they are just better at rhetorically making themselves sound better. I base my opinion that current Rep leaders are more on the side of big business on current policy decisions and a seemingly cavalier attitude about the financial scandals. That, and the anti-union bent of the party.

How I would love it if Bush came out swinging about the corporate
accounting frauds. I'd eat my shorts if he gave an impassioned speech telling those people at those companies that they are criminals of the highest order, and they will be held accountable for their actions. It would be great. He has really softballed the issue, when he ought to be out there calling to have their heads delivered on platters. I think they have done more to damage the morale and spirit of the people of this country than 9/11.

The mortgage deduction is slanted toward the wealthy. No doubt about it. I can't recall the home ownership percentage of American citizens, but I think it is around 60%. I do know that where I live that houses are far less affordable than they were 4 years ago. And that few single income households can afford to buy. That was not the case when I was growing up, and I wonder what the hell has happened. Can't pin that on a party. Something radical has changed in the way of life, though.

Perhaps if the Republican leadership made a few grand gestures that favored "the little guy" my perception could change. I just don't see that happening. I only see companies getting bigger and bigger ( thank you FCC!) and people losing more and more jobs. People I know, are, anyway.

Actually, if the Republican party hadn't been hijacked by our own little Taliban in the Reagan years, my feelings would be quite different. On most counts, I consider myself a fiscal conservative.

And no, I don't see any finger snapping from you !


:wavey:

LMAO!!! Heres my Archie Bunker moment......No one will EVER EVER EVER make me pay a reparation. It is RIDICULOUS, to say the least. You can not hold someone responsible for something your long-dead relative was responsible for! Its kinda like saying....your great great grandfather shot this convenience clerk, and ever since his family has been in financial ruin, so you have to pay him money. Does that not sound ridiculous? It sure does to me!!!
:D I have had a rough day...nothing makes me happier than to go online and spew out my republicanism...

BTW, the list was HILARIOUS...Very true list for both sides :laugh: BTW, Dissention....you did not stir up any pot....you just let it sit and boil over onto the stove causing a massive grease fire:laugh:

I'm sure your insurance will cover the cost of the fire, though:laugh:

~Alex

Now that would be a proper example of how to use that power.:)

So, for example, Bush has millions in a trust from his grandpa's dirty Nazi dealings. When he gets access to all that money, should he be able to keep it for himself or give it all back to the people who deserve it (the Jews)? The Bush family "dynasty" was majorly built on that money, while the people who suffered for it aren't nearly as rich. Shouldn't they get it in some form of compensation, maybe given to their local Jewish Community Center? The idea of reparations isn't far from that train of thought and it's a misconseption that these people just "want money." More often than not, it isn't the case.

Let him get judged for it.....I want no part in any reparation...If that is true, then that should be on Bush's back, and Bush's back alone...

Reparations are acceptable, as long as they come from where they need to come from.....But like I said....I have done nothing in order to havve to pay a reparation, so I never will, and alot of people feel this way.

~Alex

This thread got serious all of a sudden, lol:laugh:

Again, just about everyone in America that worked for a large corporation made money off of the Nazis. So, they have to pay as well. Or is it just that the Bushes made more money? :cool: Again, the Italians owe the Catholics under this theory!!! ;)

Again, I never said that businesses shouldn't have to pay. They should. Which is why I support reparations. Everyone should be held responsible, even the Bushes and their holier-than-thou attitude. It just sickens me that Bush is supported and elected president with blood money.

I know - but I am talking about the employees who got a salary from those businesses. Then what about the housekeepers who worked for the employees of those businesses, ets. Blood money is blood money; where does it stop? Surely they knew where that scrap metal, those transistors, or whatever were going. I just do not see why the employees and the employees of the employees should be treated any differently than the businesses? :shrug:

Re: Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

Surely you don't really believe that. There is NO marriage that does not have problems at some point. I would hope that divorce would be the last resort of major irreconcilable differences, not the "usual" answer to one's marriage problems.

Well said! :: applause ::

I think only extremists hold the position that reparations are a great idea. Most people recognize the inherent unfairness of visiting the sins of the great-great-great-grandfather upon the child - no matter what you think of the child as a person. Criticize and punish someone based upon what he/she did, not on what his/her forefathers did. Who can argue with this logic?

Re: Re: Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

Yes! I agree, Nancy, and I am a divorce attorney (*ducks*).

Divorce causes terrible dysfunction, but is a necessary evil because I don't believe that people should "stay" in a physically, mentally or emotionally abusive relationship. When partners will not seek counseling and choose instead to live in denial, often there is no healthy choice but to find your way out of the situation.

Those who are illogical (i.e. the extreme left). ;) ;)

Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

Oh, and as for the original topic of the thread...

Sorry, Rob, it's not that funny. ;)

Re: Re: Re: Good spirited humor from the Right!
 

I had hoped that someone would see the absurdity in my statement and realize that it wasn't meant seriously. Guess I was wrong. ;)

You'd have to be a fool to believe that divorce is the "usual" answer to marriage problems.

I understand that the Republicans of this board see people like gldstwmn, Carne, and I as extreme lefties, but I'd love to hear you and Nancy present your argument of how we're illogical. ;) Based on your support of Shrub, it would sort of be like the pot calling the kettle black. ;)

Proceed! :D