Suicide is not the answer

[jannieC]

I am posting this because I know there are a lot of teenagers on this board. My 15 year old niece hung herself last night. Teenage suicide is alarmingly prevalent. Please understand that there are alternatives. My family is totally shocked and devastated.

[MacMan]

Oh My God! My condolences to you and your family.

[gretchen]

Oh my God. I am so sorry for your loss. So many people (young and old) are living with unbearable emotional pain and we don't even know it; and life seems to much to endure. Oh my, i am just so saddened for you and your family. You are in my thoughts hon. ((Jannie))

Love,

gretch

[BTFLCHLD]

So many people (young and old) are living with unbearable emotional pain and we don't even know it; and life seems to much to endure. gretchen, you are so right with this...

Jannie...your neice, you, family and friends are in my prayers...
I'm so sorry this tragedy happened.

[estranged4life]

I'm sorry for your loss and send my condolences.


THAT Wednesday night in October I could have easily killed myself, but what good would that have done? The 2 OHP troopers even asked if I owned any weapons - which I do not - because they were concerned I MAY hurt myself. The reason I don't own any weapons is because I myself know what I am capable of when faced with news that may cause a 'reaction' - and if I react 'unrationally' then I wouldn't be here to type this post.

Was I suicidal after Debbie's death? Yes. Am I suicidal now? Nope. I am dealing with my issues via grief counseling so the thoughts of ending this life are now non-existance.

[Enchanted_Stevi]

I am posting this because I know there are a lot of teenagers on this board. My 15 year old niece hung herself last night. Teenage suicide is alarmingly prevalent. Please understand that there are alternatives. My family is totally shocked and devastated.

Jannie...I a REALLY sorry for your loss! I agree suicide is NOT the answer. Have I personally thought about it...yes, many times..Life can be sucky and whatnot but that doesnt mean it wont get better in the future.

[HejiraNYC]

:distress: I hope you and yours will pull through this okay. This is just so sad...

[starshine]

May God be with you in this time of grief.....I am so very sorry for your loss. I pray that if anyone feels totally alone....which we all do at sometime in our lives....there are people out there to help you. You are never alone. There are good counselers out there to help you or friends or family. Trust someone. Life is short enough....enjoy every minute of it.....as hard as it can be....my thoughts & prayers are with you & your family at your loss. Take care.....

[LukeA]

I am truly sorry, Jannie.

[GODDESS6]

having gone thru this w/ family myself, i want to truly let you know my thoughts & prayers are w/ you & your family at this heartbreaking time~
i am very sorry~

[Chrislit18]

Wow Jannie, I'm really sorry to hear about your neice :(

I honestly don't know what else to say, except as a teenager, not only did I know a girl who killed herself, I know others who are going through stuff that just puts them in a state.

[skcin]

Sorry to hear this Jannie.

[Betsy]

Jannie,

I am so sorry to read of your loss. I admire you for thinking of teenagers and the rest of us carrying your message to those who might be contemplating the ultimate. In these economic times where jobs and livelihoods are lost, I am sure it has been contemplated.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem...and happens when the dark side of the soul reaches despair.

Let us not remember your niece by the last thing she did on Earth, but remember her for how she touched the lives of those who loved her.

I have a candle lit for your and your family today.

[Moz]

That's terrible. I will be thinking of you and your family.

[Edgeof27]

I am posting this because I know there are a lot of teenagers on this board. My 15 year old niece hung herself last night. Teenage suicide is alarmingly prevalent. Please understand that there are alternatives. My family is totally shocked and devastated.

Jannie,

I am so sorry for you, &, your family,

were there any kind of warning signs,

my daughter, (24), has been on the wrong meds for the last 3 years,

she was heading toward, &, threatening to end her life,

we have been trying to help her as best we can,

her meds were really interfering with rational thought,

anyway, she has now weaned herself off, (Effexor, 275mg), with our assistance, &, "The Road Back", (a natural supplement company, based in CA),

people please advise anyone on this "poison" to get off it as fast as possible,

unfortunately the withdrawl from this stuff is brutal,

once again, I am so sorry for the loss of your niece,

my thoughts are with you,

g.....

[jannieC]

Thank you to everyone for your support and kind words. My original post is kind of poorly worded, but I was really somewhat in shock when I wrote it. I just want my message to make others think.

Yes G, there were lots of warning signs. This child has never really had a chance. Abandoned by both of her parents and raised by the maternal grandparents, she was hospitalized for a failed suicide attempt (pills) last year. She had been on meds, but unfortunately, I believe she had a personality disorder which is not treated with medication. In fact, misdiagnosing and prescribing anti depressants to one with a personality disorder can be dangerous b/c people with this disorder are hopeful about feeling better while on them, then nothing happens.

I am going to take advantage of my agency's EAP and get some free counseling sessions to help with some of the guilt. It's just so awful, such a waste. She was a beautiful girl.

Thanks again for the support and prayers.

[Edgeof27]

Thank you to everyone for your support and kind words.

My original post is kind of poorly worded, but I was really somewhat in shock when I wrote it.

There was nothing wrong with your original posting,

I just want my message to make others think.

Yes G, there were lots of warning signs.

too bad they were missed, but all too often they are,

This child has never really had a chance.

really unfortunate, so sad,

Abandoned by both of her parents and raised by the maternal grandparents,

sometimes grandparents are too old,

she was hospitalized for a failed suicide attempt (pills) last year.

She had been on meds, but unfortunately, I believe she had a personality disorder which is not treated with medication.

meds are the worst option,

I feel that the pharmacutical companies are just performing field studies with the aid of the medical profession,

sorry if I offend anyone in those two industries....

In fact, misdiagnosing and prescribing anti depressants to one with a personality disorder can be dangerous b/c people with this disorder are hopeful about feeling better while on them, then nothing happens.

unfortunately the meds negate any rational thoughts...

I am going to take advantage of my agency's EAP and get some free counseling sessions to help with some of the guilt.

take care of yourself, stay strong,

It's just so awful, such a waste.

She was a beautiful girl.

Thanks again for the support and prayers.

once again, your in my thoughts, stay strong,

g....

[Zombie]

I'm so sorry, Jannie. You and your family are in my thoughts.

***

I also just wanted to say that medication is not always the worst choice - yes, they are often wrongly prescribed and dosages are calculated incorrectly and people are not taken care of, but some people do need medications and are helped by them.

For example, I was put on Effexor XR to "help" with a chronic pain condition I have and it damn near ruined my life...and didn't help with the pain at all, haha. No trade-off. However, a very dear friend of mine takes Effexor XR for an actual chemical imbalance and it has changed her life for the better.

It's different for everyone.

[HejiraNYC]

meds are the worst option,

I feel that the pharmacutical companies are just performing field studies with the aid of the medical profession,

sorry if I offend anyone in those two industries....
g....

I just think that is just about the most ignorant, unfounded statement I have ever heard. How on earth did you come to this conclusion? No, meds are not the answer to everything. But when used appropriately, they can be tremendously valuable, and are sometimes the difference between life and death.

[Edgeof27]

I just think that is just about the most ignorant, unfounded statement I have ever heard. How on earth did you come to this conclusion? No, meds are not the answer to everything. But when used appropriately, they can be tremendously valuable, and are sometimes the difference between life and death.

Well,

time, &, time again I have encountered individuals who are/were on the wrong meds,

individuals who had been on a series of different meds to try to "find" the right one,

individuals who ended their lifes while on meds,

individuals at work on long term sickness, who are on meds, who are actually getting worse,

individuals who as children were prescribed the wrong meds, their lives ending in teen suicide,

just seen too many people suffer the adverse effects of these meds,

like I said when I posted originally;

"sorry if I offend anyone........",

g....:angel:

[jannieC]

I'll just chime in and say that as a licensed therapist and mental health professional, I thoroughly believe in psychiatric medication. I can't stress that enough. I was referring to Personality Disorders, as far as meds sometimes making things worse. My niece had Borderline Personality Disorder.

I don't mind this thread changing direction. If it is making people think and talk about the topic, it's cool with me.

And P.S. Her grandparents were not old at all, actually. They did a wonderful job of raising her and giving her everything she needed. But when someone's parents are too f*&cked up to raise their own child, that child has to deal with the consequences of feeling abandoned, etc.

[RoseGarden]

Jannie, I am soo sorry!

Sometimes meds just can't help the enviornment factor too. Our family experienced the death of my sister which was questionable if it was her or her domestic violence boy friend that ended her early life.

Death of someone young and so unexpected is devestating. I pray for you and your family to have more angels around you to help get you through each day.

If I could give you a long , sincere hug I would.


Truly sorry this happened!

[Zombie]

Jannie, please forgive me if my comment above about the meds seemed as if it was directed at you - I didn't mean for it to be, but I was not entirely awake when I was typing, and I was so alarmed at the idea being put out by another that meds are the "worst option" that I just went clack-clack-clack at the keyboard.

I know meds can't be used to properly treat a personality disorder, and I am so sorry your neice didn't get the help she needed.

I just find the idea of writing off ALL meds so dangerous.

Please be well.

[fleetwoodtrick]

Oh my god, I'm so sorry! Suicide is a scary, scary thing, especially around my age. (I am also 15.) Every once in a while, I'll have thoughts of killing myself, then I realize that I am very lucky to have the life that I live. And I agree with Caitlin, suicide isn't going to do me any good. I also think about what it would do to my parents in the rest of my family, then I go and do something more constructive. However, it's very sad that wasn't your niece's case, that she had other problems along with being a moody teenager. Sorry for babbling, I'm not even sure what I'm typing any more. :/

Anyways, you and your family are in my prayers.
~Rhiya

[jannieC]

Jannie, please forgive me if my comment above about the meds seemed as if it was directed at you - I didn't mean for it to be, but I was not entirely awake when I was typing, and I was so alarmed at the idea being put out by another that meds are the "worst option" that I just went clack-clack-clack at the keyboard.

I know meds can't be used to properly treat a personality disorder, and I am so sorry your neice didn't get the help she needed.

I just find the idea of writing off ALL meds so dangerous.

Please be well.

Oh no, I didn't think you were directing that at me; I was trying to back up what you had said. No worries. :xoxo:

[Livia]

Oh, Jannie, I am SO sorry. Hugs to you, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

I believe in psychiatric meds as well, when dispensed properly and the patient is properly monitored. However, I don't believe any prescription drugs should be advertised on television.

[gldstwmn]

Jannie, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family at this most difficult time.

[WildHeart69]

Jannie, I am so sorry to have to read this thread... We are all here for you!

Best Wishes,
Mike

[WildHeart69]

And I really hate to post this.... because this thread isnt the place for this...but I read someone had said that they have seen "so many people" messed up and/or dead etc because of Rx meds and they are the worst option. I can say with high confidence that I have seen more people saved by meds (Effexor or what have you) than anyone has seen hurt by them.

Just some advice for anyone out there with a problem: Sometimes you need to talk to your doctor if the risks arent outweighing the rewards for YOU. You can get help. And there are a lot of crummy doctors too, for sure, and sometimes your current doctor isn't right for you either. But medecine is all about risks and benefits that need to be weighed out. Get to know your Pharmacist too, if they can't or won't answer your questions then find a good pharmacist you can trust and ask questions to. Don't be afraid to speak up if you just don't feel like your meds aren't benfiting you enough.
Different drugs work differently on different people and even sometimes they aren't the answer, but suicide is NEVER the answer.

[Musicman408]

Jannie, I am so so sorry to hear about this. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with all of you all.


You are very right- suicide is never the answer. Life brings challenges and tribulations, but that is the point of life, getting through the stuff that gets thrown at you. I've never even once thought of it for a second.

[rubytuesday]

I am posting this because I know there are a lot of teenagers on this board. My 15 year old niece hung herself last night. Teenage suicide is alarmingly prevalent. Please understand that there are alternatives. My family is totally shocked and devastated.

OMG I just saw this today. Thats horrific. not that being older would be better but its so young too. A 14 year old did that at my school. She jumped off the top of one of the buildings in the middle of the night. I sometimes think that she would be nearly 30 now. Her parents didn't thinkthey abandoned her cause they sent her across the world to one of the best schools (she was from Japan) but to be shipped off to the other side of the world when you dont speak the language well and when you're so young and by yourself and can't fit into the school or even the country its kind of like the same thing. They blamed the school saying she was so smart but I think they were just really stupid. She wasn't related to me or a friend of mine so its not the same like that but even not really knowing them it was horrible, I remember the next day and everyone from that house having to bunk up in other houses cause it was an aweful scene and some girls saying they heard something in the night. It must be so much more awful when its someone closer to you. I'll pray that those who were her friends are coping.

[Zombie]

Oh no, I didn't think you were directing that at me; I was trying to back up what you had said. No worries. :xoxo:

Okay, cookie. :xoxo: I just didn't want to add any extra nonsense to your current burdens.

One of my closest friends shot himself when we were 16, and he had gone OFF his meds when he did it. When he was on them, he was okay - not perfect, but who is, you know? - but when he was on them, he was holding down the fort. And then one day, he was gone, and we found he'd secretly quit taking them for a while.

Mental health is such a tangled maze.

[Sahara]

I'm so sorry to hear your sad news, Jannie :( Praying for you and your family

[The Catdancer]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Stay strong!!!!

[Gypsy-Rhiannon]

I am posting this because I know there are a lot of teenagers on this board. My 15 year old niece hung herself last night. Teenage suicide is alarmingly prevalent. Please understand that there are alternatives. My family is totally shocked and devastated.

Oh my goodness. I have only just read this. I'm so terribly sorry

[AliceLover]

Jannie...I am so sorry. That is so terrible! Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.

[trackaghost]

I'm really sorry Jannie. You and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

[jannieC]

My family is okay; we were not as close with McKanna as her maternal family was, but I am still feeling the loss of her. Here is a picture of us a few months ago (I was on very little sleep- our baby was about a month old then-lol).

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y111/JannieC/kana-janet.jpg

It's hard to believe that she is gone. The main reason I have shared all of this here is to let others know that it's totally okay to get help when you know you are not doing well. McKanna's death, in my opinion, was impulsive. However, she must have been feeling pain for a long time and needed help.

And on a happier note:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y111/JannieC/001-1.jpg

[iamnotafraid]

JannieC, I'm sorry for your family's loss.

[gldstwmn]

I'll just chime in and say that as a licensed therapist and mental health professional, I thoroughly believe in psychiatric medication. I can't stress that enough.

The right meds have been lifesavers for many. Unfortunately the diagnosis is the hard part. It's not always easy to find the right meds to fit the person. Sometimes it's a frustrating hit and miss procedure.

[Angel69]

So very sad. My thoughts are with you and your family.

[vivfox]

Jannie, I am so sorry for your loss. My heart truly goes out to you and your family. Eleven years ago the only man I ever loved ended his life the same way. I know how devistated you must feel.

[michelle2677]

i'm so sorry for your loss, jannie. suicide is definitely not the answer, even though i won't lie and say i've never considered it. i can't imagine what your family is going through. my prayers are with you.

[GODDESS6]

My family is okay; we were not as close with McKanna as her maternal family was, but I am still feeling the loss of her. Here is a picture of us a few months ago (I was on very little sleep- our baby was about a month old then-lol).

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y111/JannieC/kana-janet.jpg

It's hard to believe that she is gone. The main reason I have shared all of this here is to let others know that it's totally okay to get help when you know you are not doing well. McKanna's death, in my opinion, was impulsive. However, she must have been feeling pain for a long time and needed help.

And on a happier note:

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y111/JannieC/001-1.jpg

what a great happier note, jannie she is beautiful~

[MoonWaterPoet]

I am posting this because I know there are a lot of teenagers on this board. My 15 year old niece hung herself last night. Teenage suicide is alarmingly prevalent. Please understand that there are alternatives. My family is totally shocked and devastated.


Jannie ~

I am So Very Sorry to hear about your niece. I can so relate to how you and your family are feeling right now. My little brother Joey, committed suicide 5 and a half years ago, in November 26th 2003... the day before Thanksgiving. He hung his self too, and had tried to attempt it a year earlier. One of the last times I saw him alive, was when he and I went to see Fleetwood Mac ~ in Dallas... on the SYW tour July 03'... He was my concert-going-with buddy, (which is why I am having trouble going to see Fleetwood Mac ~ on this new tour. The first 2 years after his suicide I was in a total fog, I was the closest to him in my family... The first 3 years I stayed drunk out of my head, it was the only way I could deal with it... I almost allowed his suicide to destroy me... But I have been in grief counseling for the past year, and it has helped so much. If I may offer you some advice for you and your niece's family, try and find a 'survivors of suicide' support group, and grief counseling. The first 4 years of healing and grieving will be the hardest... the pain never goes away, but it does get better... and writing a journal is very helpful too... And when you get to the anger stage of grieving, go to a yard sale and buy a bunch of mis-matched dishes... take them home and break them outside in a garbage can, (wearing goggles of course)...
I will keep you and your nieces family in my thoughts and prayers...

Donnie Wayne ~

[Skyveris]

I am deeply saddened by your tragic loss and extend my most heartfelt, soulful condolences to you and your family. As shamefully trite as this is going to sound, time will disedge this unspeakable, emotionally incisive pain that you suffer. It will become easier over time; the pain will lessen and the fondest memories of your niece will give you consolation. In time. Stay strong. You're in my prayers. Take care.

....

-Matt

[jannieC]

I am deeply saddened by your tragic loss and extend my most heartfelt, soulful condolences to you and your family. As shamefully trite as this is going to sound, time will disedge this unspeakable, emotionally incisive pain that you suffer. It will become easier over time; the pain will lessen and the fondest memories of your niece will give you consolation. In time. Stay strong. You're in my prayers. Take care.

....

-Matt

Thank you for the heartfelt message, Matt.