Some People Shouldn't Breed.

[sara1998]

I can't believe this made national news... This is just about 10 minutes from me, if even that. I hope they put her away for a long time.

http://www.cnn.com/2007/LAW/01/03/highway.toddler.ap/index.html

INDIANAPOLIS, Indiana (AP) -- A mother was charged with neglect Wednesday after prosecutors said she allowed her 3-year-old son to wander away from home and play along a busy interstate.

Stunned motorists found Damon Dyer, barefoot and wearing only a diaper and T-shirt, early Saturday while his mother slept in a nearby apartment on Indianapolis' west side, police said.

At least half a dozen cars and a semitrailer swerved into other lanes on Interstate 465 to avoid the child, who was not hurt, authorities said.

Drivers pulled over and took care of him until officers arrived. (Watch how a motorist plucked the boy from traffic )

Nancy Dyer, 30, whose son and a 2-year-old daughter were taken into protective custody, was charged with four counts of felony neglect.

"A couple of the charges are related to the condition of the home and another child that was still in the apartment," said Helen Marchal, a deputy Marion County prosecutor.

Investigators said the boy left the second-story apartment about 9 a.m. and walked down the stairs, around a fence and onto the highway about 200 yards away.

Dyer told police that she had recently moved to Indiana from Florida and said the apartment was messy because she had not finished unpacking.

Dyer was scheduled to appear Thursday for an initial hearing in Marion Superior Court.

She was being held at the county jail Wednesday night after a judge set bail at $3,500

[BlackWidow]

That makes me so angry!!!

[michelle2677]

Absolutely disgusting :distress:

[sasja]

HOLY MOLEY!

It makes me shudder!
~goes to hug Quinlan in his bed~

Sasja

[gldstwmn]

It's sick but it happens every day. There's plenty of blame to go around, from absentee fathers, to the lack of social services to drug abuse, etc.

[DavidMn]

I can about garauntee that this lady was a crackhead or something along those lines.

[ragandbone]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!



She sounds neglectful, and should have had a chain on the door (to make it impossible for the preschooler to get out) but we don't know anything about her. Was she exhausted, up all night by herself with a sick 2 year old? Does she have two jobs? Is she running away from an abusive relationship, and up all night worrying over it?
She probably shouldn't have two kids, and there are a lot of people who shouldn't.
Contraception helps. How else could we help?

[amber]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!



:laugh: :nod: :thumbsup: :xoxo:

[DrummerDeanna]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!



She sounds neglectful, and should have had a chain on the door (to make it impossible for the preschooler to get out) but we don't know anything about her. Was she exhausted, up all night by herself with a sick 2 year old? Does she have two jobs? Is she running away from an abusive relationship, and up all night worrying over it?
She probably shouldn't have two kids, and there are a lot of people who shouldn't.
Contraception helps. How else could we help?

Very true. We only know the details that the media feed us - and they're main agenda is to make this woman look like a horrible mother.

Still - she should have taken precautions against this...but people make mistakes...this was a pretty damn BIG mistake and it's a miracle the kid wasn't hit by a car....

Sadly for every wonderful, good attentive parent there are probably two neglectful bad parents...at least that's how it seems nowadays :distress:

[sara1998]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!



She sounds neglectful, and should have had a chain on the door (to make it impossible for the preschooler to get out) but we don't know anything about her. Was she exhausted, up all night by herself with a sick 2 year old? Does she have two jobs? Is she running away from an abusive relationship, and up all night worrying over it?
She probably shouldn't have two kids, and there are a lot of people who shouldn't.
Contraception helps. How else could we help?

There are so many housing editions and apartments backed up to 465 it's rediculous. You have valid points, it just disgusts me to think this child was out alone and the possibility of him being hit makes me cringe.

[estranged4life]

Phhhfffff...I've seen worse than that. How about the woman in OKC who in a drugged heroin daze, tossed her 3 month infant from a moving SUV at 40MPH into traffic? How about the Kauffman kid whose Mother didnt step in to stop her boyfriend from beating the kid, until it was too late and the lil' boy died, to only be found buried in a empty freezer? How about lil' 2 year old Kelsey Briggs suffering 2 'mysterious' broken legs (She may have been possibly sexually abused) then when DHS decided to investigate the little girl died from a major blow to her head that basically removed her spinal cord from her brain stem?

A child wandering in traffic happens all the time in OKC...But the above examples happen more often in this hellhole of a state (For the record, DHS is a joke!)

Sick f**ks-Stupid people shouldnt breed...or BREATHE for that matter!!!!

Here's a link about Kelsey Briggs:

http://www.kelseyspurpose.org/

A more recent case of child neglect:

http://newsok.com/article/keyword/2987746/

A couple more from the hellhole known as my hometown:

http://www.muskogeephoenix.com/siteSearch/apstorysection/local_story_346004450.html

http://www.muskogeephoenix.com/siteSearch/apstorysection/local_story_362001025.html

[ragandbone]

There are so many housing editions and apartments backed up to 465 it's rediculous. You have valid points, it just disgusts me to think this child was out alone and the possibility of him being hit makes me cringe.
I am totally with you there: it is horrifying to imagine a little vulnernable child in diapers near the cars—makes me ill.
It might have seemed like I was attacking you—didn't mean to.
It is possible for me to imagine a mom, not safeguarding the house, and oversleeping while a resourceful (but, oddly, unafraid of cars) preshcooler figured out how to escape, and that scenario could mean the loss of her children, and foster care for them.
There have been a lot of child neglect case in the news here, lately.
WE seem to have advanced far enough to start noticing neglect, but there aren't very many safety nets, to avoid neglect, or help the children after the neglect is identified.
I am not sure what to do about that.

[gldstwmn]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!


Agreed. It was probably some of the more affordable housing for the area.

[sara1998]

I am totally with you there: it is horrifying to imagine a little vulnernable child in diapers near the cars—makes me ill.
It might have seemed like I was attacking you—didn't mean to.
It is possible for me to imagine a mom, not safeguarding the house, and oversleeping while a resourceful (but, oddly, unafraid of cars) preshcooler figured out how to escape, and that scenario could mean the loss of her children, and foster care for them.
There have been a lot of child neglect case in the news here, lately.
WE seem to have advanced far enough to start noticing neglect, but there aren't very many safety nets, to avoid neglect, or help the children after the neglect is identified.
I am not sure what to do about that.

I didn't think you were attacking me. You're good. I'm just saying you have valid points. I am a single mom, and should understand exactly how it can be, and how it may seem on the outside looking in. There are times when you do your damndest, and nothing seems to work right, or looks bad to others. In a life threatening situation such as this, I tend to jump and think the worst possible thing, which isn't always right. I just hope it all works out in the end. I still hope social services keeps an eye out on them for a while afterwords, which I'm sure they will...

[ragandbone]

In a life threatening situation such as this, I tend to jump and think the worst possible thing, which isn't always right. I just hope it all works out in the end. I still hope social services keeps an eye out on them for a while afterwords, which I'm sure they will...
All signs that *you* have superior mom-skills: you care, you are on alert for danger, and worrying about the kids welfare.:wavey:
But I knew that.
And, I do agree with the title of your thread.

[Johnny Stew]

I'm starting to think that people should have to pass an IQ test and a "parenting quotient" test in order to breed. If they fail, then it's off to the doctor's office for a tubaligation or vasectomy.

[strandinthewind]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!



She sounds neglectful, and should have had a chain on the door (to make it impossible for the preschooler to get out) but we don't know anything about her. Was she exhausted, up all night by herself with a sick 2 year old? Does she have two jobs? Is she running away from an abusive relationship, and up all night worrying over it?
She probably shouldn't have two kids, and there are a lot of people who shouldn't.
Contraception helps. How else could we help?

I was thinking this too. Yet, I got the impression/vibe that the mother was on drugs or something like that - which is just a vibe as the article metions nothing about that.

In the end and like Sara said, most parents do their best and sadly some kids just get hurt.

But, in this case, how did the kid open the door, which should have been locked? That is the big question to me.

[estranged4life]

I'm starting to think that people should have to pass an IQ test and a "parenting quotient" test in order to breed. If they fail, then it's off to the doctor's office for a tubaligation or vasectomy.

in my opinion...Of course it would help in this state of confusion known as Oklahoma, Since this state is constantly at the top in teen pregnancies.

[irishgrl]

I was thinking this too. Yet, I got the impression/vibe that the mother was on drugs or something like that - which is just a vibe as the article metions nothing about that.

In the end and like Sara said, most parents do their best and sadly some kids just get hurt.

But, in this case, how did the kid open the door, which should have been locked? That is the big question to me.
little kids are resourceful, trust me :nod: I have one of those flip locks waaaay up high on the doorjamb and my little monkey knows to get a chair (or he used to climb on the coat tree, another WONDERFUL pasttime :rolleyes: ) Its amazing how quickly they can get out and OH! the stuff they share with the neighbors :lol:

[HomerMcvie]

Agreed. It was probably some of the more affordable housing for the area.
Exactly. And SOMEONE's gonna live there. People with addictions usually go for the cheapest places possible.

[sara1998]

little kids are resourceful, trust me :nod:

Yes... yes they are!

OH! the stuff they share with the neighbors :lol:

Tell me about it... :rolleyes:

[DrummerDeanna]

I'm starting to think that people should have to pass an IQ test and a "parenting quotient" test in order to breed. If they fail, then it's off to the doctor's office for a tubaligation or vasectomy.

:nod: I've long thought that :laugh:

There's a Golden Girls where in passing Rose talks about she and her husband going to the city hall or something to get their permit to have kids....not a bad idea actually :p

[irishgrl]

It's disgusting that they had to live 200 yards from an Interstate highway!



She sounds neglectful, and should have had a chain on the door (to make it impossible for the preschooler to get out) but we don't know anything about her. Was she exhausted, up all night by herself with a sick 2 year old? Does she have two jobs? Is she running away from an abusive relationship, and up all night worrying over it?
She probably shouldn't have two kids, and there are a lot of people who shouldn't.
Contraception helps. How else could we help?
also, the article said she just moved, and I remember when I moved, I worked like crazy trying to get everything in place so we could function properly in as short a time as possible. Its exhausting to move, anyway, but she moved several states didnt she? possibly she was getting away from an abusive situation and had to leave quickly? there are a lot of unanswered questions here, and yes, on the surface, she looks negligent, but I agree with ragandbone, this article seems to be more sensationalist than anything else.

Thats not to say that there arent some people that kids wouldnt be better off away from. I just dont think we can assume this mother wasnt trying or didnt love her kid or ..............

plus, I think it IS a shame that the only affordable housing is usually near some sort of hazard, like railroad tracks, freeways, or the like....that smacks of a sort of socio-economical discrimination that marginalizes poor people.

[irishgrl]

Exactly. And SOMEONE's gonna live there. People with addictions usually go for the cheapest places possible.
Homie, thats not fair.........Single moms go for the cheapest too! I'd bet dollars to donuts that drug dealers/users have more $$$$ to throw around than single mothers do..............

[HomerMcvie]

Homie, thats not fair.........Single moms go for the cheapest too! I'd bet dollars to donuts that drug dealers/users have more $$$$ to throw around than single mothers do..............

I NEVER said they were the ONLY ones to go for cheap housing, DID I?
But when your addiction is your #1 priority in life, you need to focus your funds on that.
As a landlord, and I've been told this by several other landlords.......You're alot better off trying to get $600 rent out of people, than $300 out of people. Because ALOT/MOST of the people(not ALL, so don't jump me) that choose the $300 place, don't have their priorities in order(and often have addictions, that are their priority). And that, has been my experience, too.

[irishgrl]

I NEVER said they were the ONLY ones to go for cheap housing, DID I?
But when your addiction is your #1 priority in life, you need to focus your funds on that.
As a landlord, and I've been told this by several other landlords.......You're alot better off trying to get $600 rent out of people, than $300 out of people. Because ALOT/MOST of the people(not ALL, so don't jump me) that choose the $300 place, don't have their priorities in order(and often have addictions, that are their priority). And that, has been my experience, too.
Well, I didnt say you did, DID I?
I was only pointing out a truth. Single moms are often lumped in with drug users/dealers by sheer virtue of their residence, which is certainly NOT an indication of anything other than they cant afford to live elsewhere. But in terms of discretionary income, I'd be willing to bet (since addictions arent cheap and need constant feeding) that drug users/dealers have more $$$ to blow than single moms do. Of course, as you know there are all sorts of real life permutations and no one fits into a simple set of lables (who said that??)
and its all cyclical anywhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

[HomerMcvie]

Well, I didnt say you did, DID I?
I was only pointing out a truth. Single moms are often lumped in with drug users/dealers by sheer virtue of their residence, which is certainly NOT an indication of anything other than they cant afford to live elsewhere. But in terms of discretionary income, I'd be willing to bet (since addictions arent cheap and need constant feeding) that drug users/dealers have more $$$ to blow than single moms do. Of course, as you know there are all sorts of real life permutations and no one fits into a simple set of lables (who said that??)
and its all cyclical anywhooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Well, I'm mainly talking about users, not dealers. Of course, some dealer with 50K in his pocket ISN'T going to choose a $300 place!!!
And I absolutely have been where you're at. When my parents got divorced(when I was nine), Mom and I went from living in an upper middle class neighborhood(brand new 5 bedroom house), to living in the cheapest places she could find, because that's all we could afford. So believe me, I've been there.

[irishgrl]

Well, I'm mainly talking about users, not dealers. Of course, some dealer with 50K in his pocket ISN'T going to choose a $300 place!!!
And I absolutely have been where you're at. When my parents got divorced(when I was nine), Mom and I went from living in an upper middle class neighborhood(brand new 5 bedroom house), to living in the cheapest places she could find, because that's all we could afford. So believe me, I've been there.
Yeah, I lived in that sort of neighborhood while I was going to Law School...I was on welfare, getting section 8 and living in a druggie haven. They left me alone tho, because I was going to Law School :lol:

anyway, thanks for the clarification :wavey:

[ragandbone]

I'm starting to think that people should have to pass an IQ test and a "parenting quotient" test in order to breed. If they fail, then it's off to the doctor's office for a tubaligation or vasectomy.
Don't forget about the important "presidential quotient"! That's the test I am waiting for:lol:

[paleshadow]

I'm starting to think that people should have to pass an IQ test and a "parenting quotient" test in order to breed. If they fail, then it's off to the doctor's office for a tubaligation or vasectomy.

Seriously, you need a license to go fishing, but anyone can create life!

[DrummerDeanna]

Seriously, you need a license to go fishing, but anyone can create life!

And it's time for me to bring up one of my favorite movie quotes ever:

"...you need a license to buy a dog, to drive a car - hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father."

--Todd (Keanu Reeves) in Parenthood

[Für Elise]

I still think its bad but I don't know why this is seen as so shocking and as disgusting as people are saying. doesn't that kind of thing happen to every parent at one point? my mum said I was pulled from traffic once when she was talking to someone and I went wandering. there are a heap of other stories like that some where I could have died. things like when we'd go play in the yard at a friends farm and he got kicked by a horse and lost part of his hand while our parents were inside and not watching. the mother doesn't sound that different from most only she wasn't there to go and grab him. maybe I didn't read it properly and missed something.

[carrie721]

I still think its bad but I don't know why this is seen as so shocking and as disgusting as people are saying. doesn't that kind of thing happen to every parent at one point? my mum said I was pulled from traffic once when she was talking to someone and I went wandering. there are a heap of other stories like that some where I could have died. things like when we'd go play in the yard at a friends farm and he got kicked by a horse and lost part of his hand while our parents were inside and not watching. the mother doesn't sound that different from most only she wasn't there to go and grab him. maybe I didn't read it properly and missed something.

kinda sounds like your mom didn't watch you all that well, either ... i mean, playing in traffic?

and we're not just talking about a suburban street here ... we're talking about a freeway, where people are driving 70 mph and faster.

[Für Elise]

kinda sounds like your mom didn't watch you all that well, either ... i mean, playing in traffic?

and we're not just talking about a suburban street here ... we're talking about a freeway, where people are driving 70 mph and faster.I wasn't talking about a suburban street but not a freeway. that was someone in the centre of london I don't know where specifically but she said busy traffic. But you take your eyes of a kid for a minute and anything can happen. not every mother can be watching their kid 24 hours a day.

[ragandbone]

my mum said I was pulled from traffic once when she was talking to someone and I went wandering. there are a heap of other stories like that some where I could have died. things like when we'd go play in the yard at a friends farm and he got kicked by a horse and lost part of his hand while our parents were inside and not watching. the mother doesn't sound that different from most only she wasn't there to go and grab him. maybe I didn't read it properly and missed something.
My mother used to leave me in the car while she went into the supermarket (although not at 3, but perhaps at 5) and I think it would take all of 5 minutes for someone to report that, now.
There is an age when toddlers like to run off, even the ones who used to hang close to mama. I have heard quite a few stories of parents searching a crowded beach or mall for up to an hour for their child. Probably the difference would be searching for your child, and having someone bring your child to you while you are sleeping. I think you would tend to get a lot more blame in the second case.

The scariest stories are those of parents who claimed to believe they had dropped children off at daycare, but who parked their cars, with their babies or toddlers asleep in the carseat. My mother—who likes to relate every horrifying story she ever hears, especially at the dinner table—alerts me every time one of these hits the news.

[sara1998]

She was quoted in the news this morning saying that she did this to herself. I can't help but to feel kind of bad for her now. I'm still appaled that the boy was playing on 465... Stress in life, (in her case moving, looking for work...) can turn you into a different person. I know that when my husband passed, if it wasn't for us moving in with my folks, things could have been a lot different for me. I wasn't as attentive as I could have been.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10670529/detail.html

INDIANAPOLIS -- A bond reduction request was denied Thursday for the mother of a toddler found wandering on Interstate 465 on Saturday.

Nancy Dyer, 30, went before a judge to face four felony counts of child neglect. A not-guilty plea was entered for her and a trial was set for Feb. 28. Dyer, who has been in jail since the incident, and her assigned public defender declined to answer questions, but she told a Marion County judge, "I did this to myself," 6News' Julie Pursley reported.

Dyer's 3-year-old son, Damon, was found along Interstate 465 near 56th Street, not far from where they live. After a passerby stopped to help the boy, police said they found Dyer sleeping in her west side apartment.

"Apparently, she had said that he often would get out of the apartment. Apartment management was aware of that as well. So, she would place boxes to block him from climbing out," said Helen Marchal, of the Marion County Prosecutor's Office. "Whether ... she did that night or morning, we don't know. All we know is that the last thing she said she had seen her son when she went to bed the night before."

Prosecutor's said some of the charges stem from the discovery that Damon and his 2-year-old sister, Gabrielle, were living in filth, with feces on the wall and food on the floor.

"The little girl was found eating Spaghettios out of a garbage bag that had been placed there the night before, according to the mom," Marchal said.

Dyer told the judge that she moved to Indianapolis from Florida last month to be near family because she was in debt.

Dyer said that she gets inheritance money from a trust fund, but was looking for work. Dyer said in court that she couldn't get a job until she found childcare because she couldn't leave her children unattended.

The judge denied a request to reduce Dyer's $3,500 bond. The children are in protective custody, and Dyer is not allowed to have contact with them.

[SuzeQuze]

Yeah, if parents are depressed they can't properly care for their children and that is very sad. But then they should ask for help. Unfortunately some people have no one to help them. :distress:

My brother used to "escape" too but my Mom was usually on top of him. One time he did climb out a window and was found running down the street. He was 2.

I never knew where he was running, the kid would just run. God help me if I have that kind of child. He had one of those harnesses so he wouldn't be killed. Strangers thought my mother was a psycho but everyone who knew Billy said, "No, you gotta do what you gotta do to keep him safe."

Of course I was the angel that would sit and play quietly by myself all day. I don't know how a family could have 2 so different children. Although as adults we are much more alike.

[ragandbone]

That's sad. The descrition of the house is awful. It could be depression, It coudl be drugs, or both, and more. Intervention was totally need here, but I don't understand why a mother would not be allowed contact with the kids: that is just punishment for them, and they haven't done anything wrong here.

She was quoted in the news this morning saying that she did this to herself. I can't help but to feel kind of bad for her now. I'm still appaled that the boy was playing on 465... Stress in life, (in her case moving, looking for work...) can turn you into a different person. I know that when my husband passed, if it wasn't for us moving in with my folks, things could have been a lot different for me. I wasn't as attentive as I could have been.

http://www.theindychannel.com/news/10670529/detail.html

INDIANAPOLIS -- A bond reduction request was denied Thursday for the mother of a toddler found wandering on Interstate 465 on Saturday.

Nancy Dyer, 30, went before a judge to face four felony counts of child neglect. A not-guilty plea was entered for her and a trial was set for Feb. 28. Dyer, who has been in jail since the incident, and her assigned public defender declined to answer questions, but she told a Marion County judge, "I did this to myself," 6News' Julie Pursley reported.

Dyer's 3-year-old son, Damon, was found along Interstate 465 near 56th Street, not far from where they live. After a passerby stopped to help the boy, police said they found Dyer sleeping in her west side apartment.

"Apparently, she had said that he often would get out of the apartment. Apartment management was aware of that as well. So, she would place boxes to block him from climbing out," said Helen Marchal, of the Marion County Prosecutor's Office. "Whether ... she did that night or morning, we don't know. All we know is that the last thing she said she had seen her son when she went to bed the night before."

Prosecutor's said some of the charges stem from the discovery that Damon and his 2-year-old sister, Gabrielle, were living in filth, with feces on the wall and food on the floor.

"The little girl was found eating Spaghettios out of a garbage bag that had been placed there the night before, according to the mom," Marchal said.

Dyer told the judge that she moved to Indianapolis from Florida last month to be near family because she was in debt.

Dyer said that she gets inheritance money from a trust fund, but was looking for work. Dyer said in court that she couldn't get a job until she found childcare because she couldn't leave her children unattended.

The judge denied a request to reduce Dyer's $3,500 bond. The children are in protective custody, and Dyer is not allowed to have contact with them.